How Do You Get Through Airport Security? Muslim Airport Follies

I haven't flown in a few months so haven't had too many treacherous experiences lately, but there are definitely challenges when flying Muslim in America. The first challenge, is the prayers of people around you BEGGING God that you not be on the same plane as them.  Literally I've gotten out of my car and seen people doing the whole "forehead, chest, shoulder" cross thing. Chill out, people.  I may be on your flight independent of what you're asking God... pray for your safety in general, not your safety from me, please.

Next, comes the ticket line, when people automatically try to help me because clearly I cannot possibly speak English.

Them (Yelling, in caveman language): "YOU INSERT YOUR BOARDING PASS NUMBER HERE"

Me (quietly, in perfect English): "Yes, thank you. I know...."

Joy.

Then, we go through security - the FUN part.  Everyone is looking at me like I MUST have SOMETHING in my bags that ain't gonna make it. I stress about this for at least a month before I fly.

The first joy of security is the awkward "how you look and your name don't match up" look that I get from TSA.

Yes, I know, Hannah Nemec-Snider, and I'm wearing this on my head.... it may not add up to you, but this is Amurica, sir.  Look at my ID all you want, nothing's going to change.  And please, check the hologram on the ID 72 times. It won't change.  I'm still white.  It's a real ID. And yes, this is still on my head. Move along.

And THEN - the climax of the whole event - The conveyor belt of doom.

The entire time I am FRANTICALLY stressed that even though I know that I read the instructions on what can and can't come in my carry-on and how to label it and clear plastic baggies for my shampoo, it is SUCH a hassle to - within a 14 second period - take off my shoes, put my laptop in a container, take out my liquids from the plastic baggie, and smush my carry-on into a tiny little conveyor belt.

I was deathly scared when I looked like your average white girl before this process - and now I'm seven times more stressed.

This should literally be an event in the Olympics.  WHO THE HECK DOES THIS GRACEFULLY?

I look like a scared rat for these entire 14 seconds.

Then, I step through the scanner.  Without fail, I am asked to step to the side.

They ask if they can pat me down.  I say, yes, as long as it's a girl.  They touch every millimeter that is my body.  The girl is always super short, so I have to squat the entire time so all 5'9'' of me can be pat down.

They ALWAYS get extra thorough on my head - check my hijab, pat it down, touch my bun in the back of my head, pat every inch of me. Easiest one was Cleveland and LAX - not sure why.  Hardest, most annoying was Boston.  WOW. That's all I have to say.

Then, they always say "enjoy your flight!" as if they didn't just finish touching me more intimately than I expect my husband to on my wedding night.

Disgusted, I go to find my gate.  As I walk by, I continue to hear the prayers "Please, God, make sure she's not on my flight."

Then, I finally arrive at my gate. I take a seat. I always get there early so that I don't have to be the one that awkwardly sits next to others and freaks them out.

I'd rather they be "stuck" sitting next to me.

A couple times I've given up my comfy waiting seat to elderly women and people were VERY relieved that I was forced to stand.   I'm thrilled my comfort upsets you. You're welcome.

One of the MOST AMUSING parts to me of the entire experience, is the utterly TREMENDOUS effort that other Muslims and I make to ensure that we do not interact in ANY POSSIBLE WAY while waiting for the flight.  No eye contact. No salaams. No acknowledgement.  If I clearly have a question, no one is willing to help me.  We do not speak ANY Arabic to each other, even if they don't speak English. It is the most disconnected event in the entire Arab world, I feel.

I think that it derives from the fear that others may feel we are all connected and this may freak out the other passengers. Like maybe we have a secret plan or something? I promise, I have never met any of the other people on our flights EVER in my life.

An added bonus on my last trip was the fact that my athan went off on my phone - louder than normal - while waiting at my gate. "ALLAHU AKBAR" is not the last thing you want to hear before you board a plane, I guess.

And then, ah, we finally board.  I get more crazy looks at the disconnect between my name and my ticket gets the final check from the gatekeepers.

I start walking down the aisle on the plane - at this point people are praying SO HARD that I don't sit next to them, I get emotional about the spirituality in the room. More prayers are said in this few minutes than probably ever in entire lifetimes for some of them.

And then, I sit, in my seat. Next to someone that is eyeing me up and down the ENTIRE flight. No one next to me EVER sleeps even a WINK. 

When we arrive at our destination, safely, without any disturbance from me - besides maybe my horrible snoring the entire flight - I get a feeling of thankfulness when I get off the plane.  I feel like people want to shake my hand and thank me.  People nod at me and smile, with gratitude.  

SURPRISE! YOU'RE ALIVE!

You're welcome that I was a normal person, people. You are SO welcome.

And then, I forget about the whole thing until my trip is over and it's time to go back home, when I get to have the same exact experience all over again.

May Allah (swt) safely deliver all people in the world to their destinations, and may the stereotypes fade over time. And, please, Ya ALLAH, make the security process less stressful on me. The heart attack I experience every time I have to fly is not good for my health.

How Do You Swim? And 11 Of The Last Questions Asked to Hijabis

Here's the last batch of questions... Hope you enjoy :)

1. "Are you allowed to drive in your religion?"

Religiously, totes. The Prophet (saws)'s wives rode camels and the modern day equivalent would be driving.  Culturally, Saudi Arabia is the only country that women don't drive in.  It's a cultural thing, though, not a legal thing... And a lot is changing....

2. "Don’t you hate Jesus or something?"

Yep, and that's why I wear this thing on my head that his mother also wore. I love Jesus. More than when my family practiced Christianity.

3. "Are you allowed to get a job?"

Allowed to and have.

4. "Does your husband treat you okay and all?"

God willing, when I find one he will treat me with more respect, knowing that I preserved my modesty just for him.

5. "Why not just take it off for work?"

Why not just walk around naked in front of your parents?

6. "What’s that thing called?"

Finally, a non-ignorant question! It's called hijab (heh-jeb)

7. "Are you allowed to date?"

Got any raisins? How about a date? :D No, no dates.

8."You know what would be cool, if you let your hair down for at least a day."

You know what would be cool, if you wear this for a day!

9. "How do you swim?"

Not well to be honest, I just can doggie paddle to stay afloat... Oh, you mean in hijab? Hideous swim suits - I choose to just avoid swimming.

10. "Can you even exercise with that on?"

It's a little hotter as you may expect, but yep! And I do!

11. "Do you hand make you own scarves?"

Yep, on my golden loom at my house.... What is this 1706?

12. "Where do you get your hair done at?"

I make the lady stay late at the salon when everyone else has left for the day. God bless her soul.

Any more questions? Let me know in the comments!

Can I See Your Hair? And 11 MORE Questions People Ask Hijabis

1. ‘Can I see your hair?' Are you a girl? Then of course :)

2. ‘Do you find white guys attractive?’

I find good men attractive.  Although I don't see myself marrying a white guy, there are still many beautiful white guys - inside and out.

3. ‘I know this one guy who covers his hair to. Y’all should meet'

Oh my gosh, I know another brunette girl, you guys will be best friends! Actually, I know a guy - of the Sikh faith - that covers his hair too... And we have shared haircare tips and tricks.  He's awesome.

4. ‘So what is hummus really made out of?’

Chic peas, olive oil and garlic. And one or two tears of angels.

5. ‘I know (fill in the blank) hahaha sorry I thought you were her! You all just look so much alike.’

Yep, all black people, Asians, and Jews probably look the same to you too, right?

6. ‘Were you born in America?’

Indeed.

7. ‘Do you know any good hookah lounges?’

Nope.  Not a hookah fan.

8. ‘I feel bad you don’t know how it feels to have the wind in your hair.’

For this one, I must admit, I feel bad about it too.  It almost defeats the purpose of me having a convertible.  Once, my girlfriends and I went to the Hollywood sign at 3 AM and driving up the long road to get there (knowing absolutely NO ONE was on the road) I took off my hijab and felt it for myself. Pretty life changing. Definitely an amazing feeling.

I must say,vthough, I feel bad that you don't get to have the same feeling I get in hijab though, the ultimate feeling of protection.

9. ‘Whats that thing in the back of your head?'

A hamster.

It's my hair....

10. 'Are you bald?'

Sure if that would give you additional questions about number 9....

11. 'Ya know, I was just nervous to approach you because I didn't know if you spoke English”

How ironic! I was scared to approach you because you look like an ignorant fool!

12. "Do you miss showing off your hair?"

Gotta be honest, my hair is pretty fabulous... But I get to show it off to my girlfriends and they're the only ones I care about seeing my hair anyways.

Last post to come tomorrow!

Do You Really Think In Two Years She's Going to Still Be Muslim? Yah Right!

On May 27, 2011 I took my shahada. I remember overhearing someone who was skeptical about my faith say something on that day that really broke my heart.

This person said, "I guarantee you in two years she will completely forget about Islam and go back to her old life. You know how these converts are."

Well, today is May 27, 2013, and look at me.

I am far from a perfect Muslim.  I make so many mistakes.  But, I will never forget Islam.

Two years ago today, I was blessed that Allah (swt) chose me to say:

لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله

There is no god but God and Muhammad is the messenger of God.

And this was the best day of my life.

Today is better to me than my birthday, because on my birthday I didn't do anything except be born.

On this anniversary, this marks another year of dedication to my religion and my God.

So, I will be happy to send you my P.O. Box to forward gifts to ;)

Sincerely, in the past two years I have tried to be a better person and a better Muslim every day - although on many days I'm a failure that is lucky only by the grace of God. This day really was an immense blessing.  The best one that Allah (swt) has ever bestowed on me.

Today, two years after I took my shahada, I pray that everyone in the world is able to taste these words on their lips before they die. I can only wish you experience one millionth of the appreciation I have for my religion. It really is such an honor to be Muslim.

To the person who doubted me:

It's the 2 year Muslim mark, what have you done in the past two years?

I can only speak for what Allah (swt) has decreed that I do for His sake, and I am not trying to brag, but I've helped three people to come to Islam. I've helped change the hearts of hundreds of people to see how beautiful our religion is.  I started this blog on Islam.  I have spent hours studying.  I have fasted two Ramadans.  I have recently started to do dawah on a weekly basis. I have taught classes at the masjid.  I have answered countless ridiculous questions about my religion with patience and tact.  I have chosen to wear hijab.  I've memorized several surahs.  And, I have forgiven you for this hurtful comment.

I'm not saying I'm a better Muslim than you because I swear I don't think I'm God's gift to Islam, but I would like you to know:

Every day that passes I only love Allah (swt) more than all the previous days combined.  

From the bottom of my heart, however, thank you so much.  Your comment has continued to push me to want to strive in the way of Allah more and more. You have helped me to question the things I do and want to do better to prove you wrong.  And, you have taught me a wonderful example of how not to treat new Muslims.  I only pray that you will see how far I've come in 20 years. I don't know where I'll live, if I will have a family, who I will spend my life with, but I put my trust in Allah (swt) that He will choose what is best for me as he has in the past two years.

To all my readers:

Please make du'aa for this person that they are able to benefit Islam.  Make du'aa for me as well inshaAllah.

May Allah (swt) reward all of the people who helped me convert with Jannah and may He bless me to continue to assist others in converting as well. May the day I took my shahada be one that pleases God and may it be the best memory in my heart for the rest of my life.

For Allah (swt) found me an orphan and He gave me refuge.

He found me ignorant and He guided me.

He found me poor and He gave me the gift of riches in Islam...Alhamdulilah.

What Did You Have To Do To Join This Cult Anyways?

"And when they finally ended the secret African chant, I came into a room with three shadowy figures dressed in nothing but sunglasses and covered in feathers.  Then, I gave the pledge.  They put me in a plastic bag and I sat in the closet for 45 minutes listening to Linkin Park's Greatest Hits.  They lit a candle of solitude and I took 4 passes around the table of knowledge - counterclockwise - while drinking 7.2 ounces of lamb's blood".......

NOTTTTT!

Becoming Muslim is not entering a fraternity in college.  It's not a cult.  I didn't have to do a naked run or chug 49320490 beers.  It was simple.

When I decided that I felt like I was just about ready to convert, I actually found some girl on Facebook that I had seen around quite a lot at school.  I felt like every where I went, this one hijabi kept popping up on campus. She was my hijabi soulmate.

So, one day, I randomly stumbled onto her Facebook and sent her a message saying that I was interested in converting and that I would like to talk more with her.

I met with her and she was amazing.  She's still one of my dearest friends now - (love you Foof).  She talked to me about a lot of things, she introduced me to another convert - another dear friend of mine (love you too Michelle LoL) - that she felt would understand me well.  She took me to the masjid for halaqa (our version of Bible study), she took me to a woman's house for lessons in the meaning of Qur'an. She introduced me to her friends. She was so helpful.

And, she introduced me to the sweetest woman, Fadia, who held a weekly halaqa for converts.  I contacted Fadia, who was a local doctor, and spoke with her about how I was interested in converting.  She said she wanted to meet with me. She was like the gatekeeper for converts.  She helped to organize people taking their "shahada" or declaration of faith in Islam.

So, I met her at a Wendy's one afternoon and we talked.  I thought there would be steps to converting.  I thought she would want me to go very slowly. And she did.  We started talking and she asked me what I knew about Islam.

Now, I had been reading Quran and studying and going to halaqa from November to May for 3 or 4 hours a day.  I didn't just wake up one morning and say "I'd like an omelette, and I'd like to be Muslim!" 

So, I started talking about everything I knew. At first, she asked if I knew the pillars of the faith, and I listed them off.  She asked about certain things that Muslims would know, and I knew them.  Then, we went deeper.  I talked about differences in Shia and Sunni, I talked about hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (saws) - AND, I said "sallah Allahu alayhi wa salaam" after I talked about him. She could see that I REALLY know what I'm talking about.

Then we talked about WHY I want to convert.  How I felt like I was always Muslim.  How my mother passed away and what that taught me from a young age about life and religion, and all of the faith I had that I was making the right decision - and a decision that would be permanent.  We both cried.  Like babies.  In Wendy's.  Eating Frosties.  

At the start of the conversation, she was putting me on a plan to convert maybe in a month or two.

By the end of the conversation, she wanted me to convert that week.

She knew I knew what I was talking about.  I don't make brash decisions.

When I knew, I knew.

That's it.

So, I met her on that next Friday, May 27th, 2011, outside the masjid.  In a white hijab and white tunic. And we talked.  I got her a little gift, and all of my Muslim friends came. She asked if I was sure.  And I was.

People I knew from before I was Muslim even that wouldn't typically come to the masjid for Friday prayer, they came to see me. 

IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE, (and I sat front row of a Spice Girls concert when I was 7, so that's really saying something!).

And I sat there next to all the girls I knew from the mosque, nervous that I would have to speak in front of all of these people.

I've further described the day I took my shahada in another post, and the details of the day. Even the khutba (Muslim version of "sermon") applied to my life.

So, the Imam announced my intent to convert.  And, I went to the side of the masullah ("prayer hall") and took my shahada in front of the crowded masjid.

I didn't have to do some crazy ritual.  I didn't have to be baptized.  I didn't have to go through a 6 week training course, like when you convert to Judaism.  I just said, in Arabic and English, "There is no god but God and Muhammad is His Messenger." And that's it. That's all you have to do.

Yep, that's all.

The women were crying, people brought me gifts, and they really treated me amazing.  I was very thankful - and I still am thankful.  I'll never forget that treatment.  Whenever I hear of someone else taking their shahada I go out of my way to congratulate them.

In Islam, when you take your shahada, you are wiped clean of all your sins.  All of the things I did before that day vanished.  And, I started with a blank slate.  Alhamdulilah, what a blessing. 

I got a Get Out of Jail Free card! Jealous, much?

After taking your shahada, you go home, take a shower, and you're done. (By the way, this shower feels amazing.  Imagine a shower after you roll around in the mud and you're getting all the dirt off, this one actually felt like all my sins were washing off.  I know that's so damn cheesy, but I swear to you).

That's all the steps.  Shampoo, rinse, repeat.

Literally, all you have to do to becoming Muslim is this:

- Have a true intention in your heart

- Say (in ANY gathering of more than 2 people - doesn't even have to be the mosque): "There is no god but God, and Muhammad is His Messenger" 

- Shower

TA DAAAAA.

I've made casseroles that took longer.

One request I have of you - whoever you are: Please pray (make du'aa) for the three women who helped me most in taking my shahada: Afaf, Michelle, and Fadia.  May Allah protect them and reward them all with Jannah for being such a wonderful help, guidance, and role models for me (and in Fadia's case, a LARGE quantity of other women).

May Allah (swt) guide us all to His truth, May He reward all of the people who helped me in my conversion or were part of the process in ANY capacity, and may He make conversion easy on all of us as it is intended to be. Ameen.

What Was The Hardest Thing for You to Give Up? It Must Have Been Drugs, Yes?

EVERY SINGLE MUSLIM PERSON I HAVE EVER MET ASKS ME THIS QUESTION! A lot of nonMuslims as well. It's... frustrating... We're not supposed to talk about any haram we have done, so why are you asking me?  What do you expect me to say? I really found it difficult to kick the hard drugs!

No, I never did any drugs in my entire life, but I love responding with "cocaine" because I appreciate the reactions.

Last month there was a post that I wrote that allowed me to vent the frustration I have when Muslims think nonMuslims do all sorts of terrible things, and I hope you realize that I didn't do a lot of haram things before I was Muslim.  Yes, I did things I'm not necessarily proud of, I wasn't perfect, but I wasn't some crazy wild rapper's girlfriend or something.

But, because everyone asks this, the hardest thing to give up was...

BACON!

Just kidding ;)

If you really want to know, I'll tell you...

The hardest thing really to give up was friendships.

I'm NOT a girly girl.

I hate girls, to be honest.

Not all girls, of course, I do have a select few girlfriends that I love,  but I find girls very hard to get along with.

I'm too honest. I don't when other people give me "advice." I have more important things to discuss than my purse and the color of my nail polish.

Really, I do.

I don't think I'm better than anyone, and yes, I can talk about purses, but I can't talk about them for 6 hours. Some girls can.

I don't think women are stupid, and I don't think all women are shallow, but finding girlfriends that share interests with me and can handle my personality is very rare.

So, I have always been very careful about the friends I chose.

And, now that I'm Muslim, having very close friendships with people who are doing things that my religion and my heart disagrees with, just doesn't work for me.

So, I've had to change.

I maintain my friendships, yes, but I do so in a different way.

There is a barrier between friendship and sisterhood.

There's rules.  And, my nonMuslim friends respect my rules. Or, they don't talk to me anymore. Either way.

But what is really beautiful is that I have made a lot of girlfriends that I really like.  

For a long time I hung out with two types of girlfriends: my fun friends and my religious friends.

There was a separation.

Some like to hang out, we watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians, we shop, but at the end of the day, I get sick of the shallow conversations.

Some like to talk about religion all the time, we have in-depth discussions, and I LOVE IT! But, at the same time, although being Muslim is the most important thing in my life, it's not the only thing.  There are other subjects to talk about.

Now, the other night was my Saudi girlfriend's birthday.  I've only known her for a few months, but we've become close - we hang out every weekend.  She's even introduced me to her group of friends and we're all friends now.  But, I realized for the first time this is the perfect group of friends for me.  They're crazy.  They're so much fun.  We dance in the middle of the living room in grass skirts for two hours and crack up... LoL.

But, after we dance, we sit down and talk about hadith, my conversion, problems in the ummah...

They are both intelligent and fun.  Which is awesome.

And I'm so thankful to have found girlfriends that are such a perfect balance for me. It just goes to show that when you have a sincere intention to rid yourself of something that is haram, God will replace it with an even greater gift.

Alhamdulilah.

If you're Muslim, though, please consider that nonMuslims are really not that different than us.  They may have different ideas of what is okay, their religions may have guided them in different ways, but they're not all majaneen (crazies). Many of them follow the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad without even knowing it, just because it feels right.

May Allah (swt) keep us all away from haram, may He bless all of our friendships, and may He help us not to judge other people before knowing them.  Ameen.

Of Course They Were Muslim, What Did You Expect?! My Take On Boston's Tragedy

Yes, the attacks at the Boston Marathon were allegedly caused by two men who identified themselves as Muslims.  I know. And yes, I spent all of the week that they were looking for them praying - sincerely - to God that they would not be Muslims.

And yes, I am extremely heartbroken that people who share my religion would be evil enough to kill others.

Devastated.

But, after I was devastated, I realized that they're not just Muslim.  They're Chechnayan, they're American citizens, they're men, they're a lot of other adjectives! Unfortunately, the only adjective that people care about today is "Muslim."

(I don't hate all boxers because the one brother was a boxer, do I? So don't hate all Muslims because they were Muslim!)

Probably about a year ago now, there was a plot to bomb a bridge in my hometown.  A bridge my grandparents take to go to the doctor, one that I took to go visit my friends in high school.  I remember that my aunt mentioned to me that "they must be those Muslims!" before the names were released.

And then the names of the plotters were released.  And they were some white kids.  And they were no longer "terrorists" they were just "two crazy kids!"

Even then, I remember being thankful that my family was safe, but almost more thankful that the plotters weren't Muslim, so I didn't have to hear about it for the rest of my life from my aunt. What I never thought to myself was "oh my God, they're white and I'm white!!" And, I never said to my aunt, who is also white, "look it was them whities!"

Regarding Boston, I have a confession to make:

I am pretty damn ashamed of myself, to be honest with you.

I'm ashamed that now whenever I hear a story of a "terrorist activity" on the news, I spend all my energy praying that the attackers aren't Muslim.  I'm busy praying "dear God, please tell me they're not Muslim." And what I'm not saying is "dear God, grant all the victims Jannah... forgive them of their sins, protect their families, grant them Heaven for dying innocently" even though, in my heart, that's what I WANT to say.

I wish we lived in a world where I could do that! And, I wish I was strong enough to not worry about myself so much.

I worry about going to the grocery store and having someone say "oh look at what YOUR PEOPLE did."

I want to show everyone all of the love that Muslims spread every day.  

How many buildings they've built, not the handful that they've destroyed.

How many Christians, Jews, and people of all religions that Muslims have saved, not how many they have killed.

But, I am only one person.

This week I read a quote that said "My religion doesn't oppress me, it's your ignorance" and I feel like that quote is applicable of this subject.

My religion is beautiful.  Perfect.  Muslim people are NOT perfect.

Far from it.

Especially me.

But, the anger people have leads to this intolerance and ignorance.

One thing I want Muslim people to understand however is that we cannot say "These men are not Muslims! Muslim people don't do evil things like this!"

Are you God? No.

The reality is, MUSLIM PEOPLE DO EVIL THINGS. You are a sinner. I'm a sinner.  Killing people is a MAJOR sin, but our sins are terrible too.

You are NOT the person to judge them if they believe in Islam or not.

Whether their actions are consistent with Islam is not a question - they are ABSOLUTELY actions that are NOT consistent with the teachings of our Prophert (saws) and our God.

However, as far as we can see, they were Muslims.  Imperfect Muslims, but Muslims nonetheless.

I want my nonMuslim friends to know as mad as you are at Muslims, I'm furious at these two men.

Way more mad. A million times more.

I spend every waking minute going out of my way to defend my religion, show how beautiful it is, opening doors for little old ladies, getting spit on and smiling through it so that I can put a positive image out there for others of my beliefs.

I'm a representative. So are these guys. I can spend my entire life working to change your mind and in two seconds these two people can completely destroy it.

And when something like this happens, I feel like all of my hard work, all of my restraint, all of it, is in vain.

I have to start from square one all over again trying to rebuild that image.

It's so frustrating. 

Thank God for all of the people in the world that are reasonable enough not to let the actions of a few change their opinions of an entire religion.

On behalf of these two men, I'm sorry you're disappointed. I'm sorry we disappointed you.

But please realize me apologizing for them is equivalent to Christians apologizing for the Ku Klux Klan.  (Literally, same percentages).

Just because one of the adjectives that these two men are is "Muslim" don't let that one adjective become all that they are.

How can we say that Islam is a religion of peace when things like this happen? I get it.

It does not necessarily mean that their religion is the cause for their disobedience.  With the bridge example, no one said they did it because they were Christian.

May God grant all of us - no matter what race, religion, gender, sexuality, etc... - tolerance for one another.  May He teach us the importance of compassion, holding judgments, and loving one another. May He grant all of the victims Jannah and all of their families solace.  May all of our hardwork not be in vein, and may God make us all good examples in the footsteps of the BEST example, Prophet Muhammad (saws). Ameen.

Will You Ever "Go Back" to Your Old Life? : Life On The "Dark Side"

"Go back" where? To the dark side? Everyone I know well asks me this question. Yes, I wasn't born Muslim, and yes I did not always memorize Quran, and I didn't always wear hijab and I didn't always pray five times a day.... but... this may shock you... I wasn't the devil.

In my past life I never treated anyone wrong, I had respect, compassion, love for all other people.  I wasn't wild.  I was actually the one that always got made fun of for being "stuck up" because I thought I was too good for beer pong championships (white girl reference).

I wasn't a party-girl, I didn't do drugs, I didn't sleep with dudes because they winked and blew an air-kiss my way.

Did I know people like that? Yes.  Was I friends with these people? Yes. Was I one of them? NO.

I think there is often a misconception about nonMuslims in the eyes of Muslims - especially those without nonMuslim friends.

Not all nonMuslims are alcoholic, coke head, gambling addict strippers.  Yes, going out is "the thing to do" in college, but not everyone chooses to follow the crowd.

Also, Muslim readers, think about all the Muslims you know - some of them are probably your friends - that do things that are against the religion... maybe they party, maybe they gamble, maybe they drink... does it make them not Muslim? No.  It just makes them sinners.

Listen, I definitely wasn't an angel then, but I'm also not an angel now.

I try my best to follow what I think that Allah (swt) wants me to, but no one is perfect. Before Islam, I wasn't a bad person though!

If you're asking whether or not I have plans to leave Islam, the answer is: NOT IN A MILLION BILLION YEARS. I will be Muslim as long as Allah (swt) chooses.

If it's up to me, that means forever.

If I had any plans to leave this religion I would not be Muslim right now. I have no doubts about Islam.

Yes, I know there are girls who meet a guy at the local 7/11 and take their shahada because "Firas was just so hot and he taught me about Islam while he sold me a case of Bud Light Lime" and then the next day they're not Muslim anymore. This exists of course, and although I find it heartbreaking, it's the reality.

I didn't make the decision to become Muslim on a whim.  I studied it, I prayed about it, I have experienced hardships from it, and I when I die, inshaAllah, I will only ask Allah to come back to earth to worship Him all over again - as a Muslim.

If you can't tell by the way I act, I am Muslim in every ounce of my soul.

What is the most frustrating part about this question though is that I feel I was always Muslim.  Despite the fact that I had never read Quran and I didn't know the pillars of the faith, I still had the same beliefs.

I had the iman (faith) of a Muslim person, but I just didn't have the ibada (worship).

I always believed in one God, never accepted Christianity as the truth - or Judaism - or Hinduism - or Taoism - or any other religion, though I studied many of them on my quest to find Islam.  When people asked me "what religion are you?" I would list out all of the pillars of Islam - which were consistent with my beliefs - and say that's what I believe in, but it took me 20 years before I listed these things and someone responded with "oh, you're Muslim then!"

I always explain it by saying: "if you never ate meat, and thought it was wrong to eat meat, but didn't know that there are thousands of other people called 'vegetarians' out there... weren't you always a vegetarian?"

That's exactly how I feel about Islam.  My heart was always Muslim.  

Now that I have the instruction manual on how to please my God, all the changes I've made are easy! Becoming Muslim was the easiest decision I've ever made - following what Islam requires of me is simple!

I have no plans to ever accept another religion, inshaAllah ya Rab.  I have never been so sure of something in my whole life.

I will never drink alcohol, I will never eat bacon, I will never dance naked in a club - not even for a billion dollars.

May Allah (swt) make all of my fondest memories those that were of my path to Him, and protect me - and all my fellow Muslims - from all the haram in this dunya in order to reward us in akirah.