Of Course They Were Muslim, What Did You Expect?! My Take On Boston's Tragedy

Yes, the attacks at the Boston Marathon were allegedly caused by two men who identified themselves as Muslims.  I know. And yes, I spent all of the week that they were looking for them praying - sincerely - to God that they would not be Muslims.

And yes, I am extremely heartbroken that people who share my religion would be evil enough to kill others.

Devastated.

But, after I was devastated, I realized that they're not just Muslim.  They're Chechnayan, they're American citizens, they're men, they're a lot of other adjectives! Unfortunately, the only adjective that people care about today is "Muslim."

(I don't hate all boxers because the one brother was a boxer, do I? So don't hate all Muslims because they were Muslim!)

Probably about a year ago now, there was a plot to bomb a bridge in my hometown.  A bridge my grandparents take to go to the doctor, one that I took to go visit my friends in high school.  I remember that my aunt mentioned to me that "they must be those Muslims!" before the names were released.

And then the names of the plotters were released.  And they were some white kids.  And they were no longer "terrorists" they were just "two crazy kids!"

Even then, I remember being thankful that my family was safe, but almost more thankful that the plotters weren't Muslim, so I didn't have to hear about it for the rest of my life from my aunt. What I never thought to myself was "oh my God, they're white and I'm white!!" And, I never said to my aunt, who is also white, "look it was them whities!"

Regarding Boston, I have a confession to make:

I am pretty damn ashamed of myself, to be honest with you.

I'm ashamed that now whenever I hear a story of a "terrorist activity" on the news, I spend all my energy praying that the attackers aren't Muslim.  I'm busy praying "dear God, please tell me they're not Muslim." And what I'm not saying is "dear God, grant all the victims Jannah... forgive them of their sins, protect their families, grant them Heaven for dying innocently" even though, in my heart, that's what I WANT to say.

I wish we lived in a world where I could do that! And, I wish I was strong enough to not worry about myself so much.

I worry about going to the grocery store and having someone say "oh look at what YOUR PEOPLE did."

I want to show everyone all of the love that Muslims spread every day.  

How many buildings they've built, not the handful that they've destroyed.

How many Christians, Jews, and people of all religions that Muslims have saved, not how many they have killed.

But, I am only one person.

This week I read a quote that said "My religion doesn't oppress me, it's your ignorance" and I feel like that quote is applicable of this subject.

My religion is beautiful.  Perfect.  Muslim people are NOT perfect.

Far from it.

Especially me.

But, the anger people have leads to this intolerance and ignorance.

One thing I want Muslim people to understand however is that we cannot say "These men are not Muslims! Muslim people don't do evil things like this!"

Are you God? No.

The reality is, MUSLIM PEOPLE DO EVIL THINGS. You are a sinner. I'm a sinner.  Killing people is a MAJOR sin, but our sins are terrible too.

You are NOT the person to judge them if they believe in Islam or not.

Whether their actions are consistent with Islam is not a question - they are ABSOLUTELY actions that are NOT consistent with the teachings of our Prophert (saws) and our God.

However, as far as we can see, they were Muslims.  Imperfect Muslims, but Muslims nonetheless.

I want my nonMuslim friends to know as mad as you are at Muslims, I'm furious at these two men.

Way more mad. A million times more.

I spend every waking minute going out of my way to defend my religion, show how beautiful it is, opening doors for little old ladies, getting spit on and smiling through it so that I can put a positive image out there for others of my beliefs.

I'm a representative. So are these guys. I can spend my entire life working to change your mind and in two seconds these two people can completely destroy it.

And when something like this happens, I feel like all of my hard work, all of my restraint, all of it, is in vain.

I have to start from square one all over again trying to rebuild that image.

It's so frustrating. 

Thank God for all of the people in the world that are reasonable enough not to let the actions of a few change their opinions of an entire religion.

On behalf of these two men, I'm sorry you're disappointed. I'm sorry we disappointed you.

But please realize me apologizing for them is equivalent to Christians apologizing for the Ku Klux Klan.  (Literally, same percentages).

Just because one of the adjectives that these two men are is "Muslim" don't let that one adjective become all that they are.

How can we say that Islam is a religion of peace when things like this happen? I get it.

It does not necessarily mean that their religion is the cause for their disobedience.  With the bridge example, no one said they did it because they were Christian.

May God grant all of us - no matter what race, religion, gender, sexuality, etc... - tolerance for one another.  May He teach us the importance of compassion, holding judgments, and loving one another. May He grant all of the victims Jannah and all of their families solace.  May all of our hardwork not be in vein, and may God make us all good examples in the footsteps of the BEST example, Prophet Muhammad (saws). Ameen.

Now That You're Muslim, You Have To Hate America, Right?

I will credit my lovely friend Sarah with this gem.  I love her, but this question is absolutely ridiculous. She asked me during the middle of a meeting as if it was dancing around in her head for years, and she thought it would be appropriate to ask at that exact moment. "So, now that you're Muslim, they make you hate America, right?"

I cracked up. I thought she was joking.  But within a second I saw in her face that she was DEAD SERIOUS.

"Umm, no Sarah, I love America.  Being Muslim has nothing to do with America."

Then, she asked "Didn't your Prophet hate America or something?"

"No, Sarah, our Prophet Muhammad (saws) lived hundreds of years before America was founded."

"Oh, I always thought that was a rule."

I considered shaking her and forcing her to read a book.

The media is so manipulative of people's thoughts that they make hundreds of assumptions based on what they see on television. So much so that they think hating America is one of the pillars of our religion.

America was never mentioned in our religion's fundamentals - it's not in Quran, Hadith, etc... - in either a positive or a negative way.

And NO, I DON'T HATE AMERICA! I LOVE AMERICA! 

If I didn't, I wouldn't live here!

I don't love how all people act in America, I don't love that people wear booty shorts in WalMart, I don't love that people think I don't speak English because I look different, I don't love corn dogs and bacon, But I LOVE AMERICA.

I love our freedom, I love my grandfathers for serving in America's Armed Forces, I love that in a 40 hour drive from the East Coast to West Coast I saw every possible climate you could ever imagine, I love that I can love the soldiers while still hating the war, I love that I can write this blog because we have freedom of speech and freedom of religion,

I participate in the Pledge of Allegiance, and I know the National Anthem. And still, I took my shahada, and I know Al-Fatiha.

Being Muslim doesn't make me hate my country. Unfortunately, however, this country makes you hate Islam.

You've heard of Islamophobia, but I've never heard of Americaphobia.

I'm sure the vast majority of my Muslim brothers and sisters don't look at you with hate when you walk by them on the street, however, we often are looked at in this way.

Being a Muslim in America does change my perspective, yes.  It makes me critical of the lack of morals people have, yes.  It also makes me critical of how "God-less" people can be.  How some people think nothing can control them, but they forget God made them, and His plan is THE PLAN.

Just because you're the CEO of the company, doesn't mean you're the CEO of your fate.

It's ironic to me that people have these terrible misconceptions, and yet when shows like "All American Muslim" are shown on television, no one watches them.  The show was cancelled because of its lack of popularity.  Controversial statements against Muslims are wildly popular on Fox News, though!  Please take some responsibility for your ignorance.

For my Muslim friends, can we please make it a priority to show how proud we are to be Americans? And that Islam and America can "go together" peacefully? Put on some red, white, and blue hijabs or SOMETHING. Wave a darn flag once in a while!

And for my nonMuslim friends who don't want to be ignorant, please read a book.  And don't believe every single thing you hear or see on television, or what the first thing on the top of Google says.

May Allah (swt) clear up all misconceptions about our religion and help us to learn to live together in Peace.

What Are Some Moments That Drew You Nearer to Islam? One of The Life Changers

I've had a lot of amazing moments in time that drew me closer to Islam and that helped to build my love for it... reading Surah Ad Duha, the first time I read a full sentence in Arabic, praying Taraweeh every night in Ramadan, listening to the sheiyk's recitation at my "home" masjid, there are hundreds of amazing moments that shaped my faith. They are the kind of moments that when I look back on my conversion, I find the most peace in. They put this feeling in my heart that I can't describe. I can recollect them with so much detail, but one moment really melted my heart.

Everyone who has ever met me knows that I cannot wait to be a mother - more than anything else in this entire world. I've always loved children.

The day I went to take my shahada I was anxious, nervous, thankful, excited, a million emotions going on at one second. But, I got to the masjid, met the women that had helped me to make the "shahada appointment," and went to pray jumaa in the masullah - or the prayer room.

Once I got inside, I sat towards the back.  It was before I knew the sunnah of praying two rakat when you arrive at the masjid.  So I sat while everyone else did their thing.

I was so confused! Why are these people praying now? I thought we all do it together? I thought the sheiyk led it...  I get it now, but was just confused at the time.

While I waited for everyone to finish their two rakat, secretly freaking out in my head that I had no idea why these people were praying right now, I looked around.

Our masjid at home is set up so that the women sit behind the men without any partition except for a significant area of carpet that the men leave between them and us.

While I was sitting there, an old Indian man in his eighties came and took a spot in the the men's section with his two-year-old grandson.

I was already in love with this little boy's outfit.

He was wearing a SWEATERVEST, people! A SWEATERVEST.  What in this entire world is cuter than a little Indian boy in a sweatervest? I will tell you, absolutely NOTHING.

His grandfather started to pray and the little boy mimicked every single movement that his grandfather was doing with such excitement and passion.  He obviously wasn't required to pray at age 2, and I would have expected that he would be all over the place running around, jumping, screaming.

No, he was as standing there, completely still, with his hands folded, his giant eyes (mashaAllah) checking to make sure that he was doing the same thing as his grandfather every few seconds.

And he prayed.  He put his forehead to the ground and prayed. Just like every other grown man at that masjid.

The difference was, however, he was so extremely excited to do it.  He couldn't wait to learn. He couldn't wait to pray.

Yes, I may have had an extra 18 years on this little guy, but he and I were the same on that day. We're both newly Muslim. We were both learning.  We both had that passion and excitement that had dwindled in the hearts of the other people around us.

And at that moment I felt at peace. I knew that this religion was no doubt for me and all the nervousness went away.

When I watch the children at the masjid, the little three year olds with their hijabs and their bangs out, the little boys in kufis and thobe, I love that passion.  I love that sincere love for Islam.

And, I think we need to bottle that and sell it as a fundraiser ;) I don't care about your baklawa, I want this excitement!

That little boy will never know how much he impacted me, but I honestly believe that Allah (swt) put him there as a reminder for me. May he be rewarded for this tremendous gift Allah gave me through him with that memory, and may he continue to have this passion for his entire life.

Next time you're at the masjid - whichever one you go to- come a little early and just look around. Watch the little kids, and find that passion in yourself all over again. May Allah (swt) grant you, myself, and all Muslims that love for Him and Islam that the little boy showed me every single time you pray.

Why Do You Believe in Allah Instead of God? The Meaning of His Name

This is such a huge misconception.  Actually, I think this one of the main reasons that Muslims are looked down upon.  People think we're worshipping another god besides what they know of as God. I would love to explain this to every single nonMuslim on earth if I could.

But I can't. So I'll explain it to you instead.

Allah is God.

If you believe in God, you agree with this concept.

"God" is an English term.  In France they call God "Dia." In Italy, "Dio."

In Arabic, "Allah."

I know you may feel very attached to the word "God," but keep in mind that Jesus never uttered the word "God." He did not speak English.

Allah is simply the Arabic word for God.

The name Allah literally means THE God.

Arab Christians and Jews call God "Allah" as well. Not just a Muslim thing.

When I first converted, to be honest, I couldn't get over the difference between the words Allah and God.  I didn't feel like I had a real connection to Him when I used the term "Allah," but as I came to understand the word, I realized I like it better than "God."

The word God was not uttered by any prophet.  It doesn't have any profound meaning in English.

It's beautiful to me that Prophet Muhammad (saws) spoke Arabic and used the word "Allah." Who cares what it is in English?! The Quran mentions Allah in Arabic for a reason.

Forget about the word though, the more important part is the concept.  What the word means.  I know it may be hard to put aside in your mind that Allah is God in another language, but just try.

Try to realize we are all brothers under the same God.  Allah. Rabb. Dia. Dio.

I don't care what language, we all belong to Him. Whatever you call him. Whereever you live.  Whatever language you speak. If only everyone on earth could have this understanding.

Don't Men Beat You If You Don't Cover Your Face?! Why I Choose Not To Wear Niqqab...Yet

Such a great question that I get from my nonMuslim friends.  I also am quite surprised that I get this question - in a different form - from Muslim men and women. I guess it's a valid question.  I care about modesty, but I don't cover my face. Why don't I wear niqqab? What am I thinking?

Well, please know that: No, men won't beat me.

And, also please know that I have so much RESPECT for niqqabi girls that do choose to cover their faces.

And, to be honest, I hope someday to wear niqqab - but under the right circumstances!

Obviously, don't take what I have to say as what God would think - Allah (swt) knows best of course! - but, I don't think that in my life it is a good decision for me right now.

So, why don't I wear niqqab?

1. It is not required.

(Pardon my paraphrasing...) There is a hadith saying that Asmaa - the daughter of Abu Bakr - came to the Prophet Muhammad (saws) wearing clothing that was not appropriate.  When the Prophet saw her, he said that it is not acceptable for a woman who has passed puberty to walk around in clothing that exposes anything except this and this and he pointed to his face and his hands.  

To me, this tells me that it is not required - or "fard" - to wear niqqab.

If Allah (swt) wanted it to be so, He would have mentioned it in Qur'an when He spoke about hijab.

2. I have a job.

Now, this is one of the much lesser arguments for me, but it's still valid.  My job requires me to have human interactions.  It's hard to have these interactions when I don't look human.  I drive little old, rich ladies around to see houses.  Do they want to get into the car with a niqqabi? Hell no. As if the hijab wasn't enough adding the niqqab would be TOO much for their little hearts.

3. It's HOT!

Holy cannoli, have you ever put on a niqqab in Southern California? And walked outside? Saudi Arabia is SO HOT I can't imagine how women live there! But it gets hot in California, too! And I can barely breathe in hijab! What if you wear glasses? Half of the day you're cleaning steam from your glasses - that's not even a life! May Allah (swt) reward the women who wear niqqab in stifling heat - especially when their husbands are walking around in tank tops!

4. It would make me unapproachable.

Part of the reason I choose to wear hijab is because it allows people to ask me questions about my religion.  Anywhere I am.  Although it gets annoying sometimes, I like that I can set the record straight and help people to understand our religion.  I can't imagine anyone coming anywhere within 400 feet of me if I have niqqab on.

5. I would probably never find a husband.

At least 14% of my appeal comes from the fact that my face is decent.  This reason is just to make you laugh. Therefore, I won't even count it as a real number.

5.  The most important reason: I live in America!

This is the truth.  This is the REAL reason I don't wear niqqab.

I live in America.

I am not saying America is right, but people in America care a lot about looks and identities.  Personal connections are critical.

No, I don't think niqqab is oppressive.  No, I'm not scared of not being pretty.

But, what I am scared of is SCARING OTHER PEOPLE.

I don't want to walk into a room and have everyone in that room praying that nothing happens to them.

I don't want an entire plane ride to be spent with the woman next to me reciting "Hail Mary"s until we arrive at our destination.

When you wear niqqab in Saudi Arabia or in some of the other Arab countries, people aren't scared of you. It's a cultural norm.

Here, in America, when I walk down the street in niqqab EVERYONE is staring at me. And, that's exactly the OPPOSITE of the point of wearing niqqab.

Women wear niqqab to show their ultimate modesty.  They wear niqqab to protect themselves from perverted stares.  They wear niqqab to avoid being judged based on their beauty.

But, if you wear niqqab in America, you are going to be the most obvious person.  You will be stared at like meat everywhere you go.  You will be judged based on nothing except how you look.

It completely defeats the purpose.

Now, I do love niqqab.  I've worn it to the mall before - just to see what my niqqabi sisters experience.  And, I was stared at.  No one spoke to me.  People avoided me at all costs.  People walked on the other side of the walkway only to stay away from me. It made me uncomfortable.

So, why do I want to wear it someday if I just gave a million reasons against it?

The Prophet (saws)'s wives wore niqqab.  Who better to try to emulate than the Prophet's wives?

I think it will also teach me to care less about how I look - Hijab was a big step in this lesson in my life.  Niqqab will really finalize it for me.

That being said, it's on my "bucket list."  Someday, God willing, I will live in an Arab country, and at this time, I will find it appropriate to wear niqqab.

May we always remind each other of the purpose and meaning behind everything we do.

May Allah (swt) reward us all for our pursuits of doing anything to please Him - whether we're right or not - and may we be judged based on our intentions.