How Do You Swim? And 11 Of The Last Questions Asked to Hijabis

Here's the last batch of questions... Hope you enjoy :)

1. "Are you allowed to drive in your religion?"

Religiously, totes. The Prophet (saws)'s wives rode camels and the modern day equivalent would be driving.  Culturally, Saudi Arabia is the only country that women don't drive in.  It's a cultural thing, though, not a legal thing... And a lot is changing....

2. "Don’t you hate Jesus or something?"

Yep, and that's why I wear this thing on my head that his mother also wore. I love Jesus. More than when my family practiced Christianity.

3. "Are you allowed to get a job?"

Allowed to and have.

4. "Does your husband treat you okay and all?"

God willing, when I find one he will treat me with more respect, knowing that I preserved my modesty just for him.

5. "Why not just take it off for work?"

Why not just walk around naked in front of your parents?

6. "What’s that thing called?"

Finally, a non-ignorant question! It's called hijab (heh-jeb)

7. "Are you allowed to date?"

Got any raisins? How about a date? :D No, no dates.

8."You know what would be cool, if you let your hair down for at least a day."

You know what would be cool, if you wear this for a day!

9. "How do you swim?"

Not well to be honest, I just can doggie paddle to stay afloat... Oh, you mean in hijab? Hideous swim suits - I choose to just avoid swimming.

10. "Can you even exercise with that on?"

It's a little hotter as you may expect, but yep! And I do!

11. "Do you hand make you own scarves?"

Yep, on my golden loom at my house.... What is this 1706?

12. "Where do you get your hair done at?"

I make the lady stay late at the salon when everyone else has left for the day. God bless her soul.

Any more questions? Let me know in the comments!

Can I See Your Hair? And 11 MORE Questions People Ask Hijabis

1. ‘Can I see your hair?' Are you a girl? Then of course :)

2. ‘Do you find white guys attractive?’

I find good men attractive.  Although I don't see myself marrying a white guy, there are still many beautiful white guys - inside and out.

3. ‘I know this one guy who covers his hair to. Y’all should meet'

Oh my gosh, I know another brunette girl, you guys will be best friends! Actually, I know a guy - of the Sikh faith - that covers his hair too... And we have shared haircare tips and tricks.  He's awesome.

4. ‘So what is hummus really made out of?’

Chic peas, olive oil and garlic. And one or two tears of angels.

5. ‘I know (fill in the blank) hahaha sorry I thought you were her! You all just look so much alike.’

Yep, all black people, Asians, and Jews probably look the same to you too, right?

6. ‘Were you born in America?’

Indeed.

7. ‘Do you know any good hookah lounges?’

Nope.  Not a hookah fan.

8. ‘I feel bad you don’t know how it feels to have the wind in your hair.’

For this one, I must admit, I feel bad about it too.  It almost defeats the purpose of me having a convertible.  Once, my girlfriends and I went to the Hollywood sign at 3 AM and driving up the long road to get there (knowing absolutely NO ONE was on the road) I took off my hijab and felt it for myself. Pretty life changing. Definitely an amazing feeling.

I must say,vthough, I feel bad that you don't get to have the same feeling I get in hijab though, the ultimate feeling of protection.

9. ‘Whats that thing in the back of your head?'

A hamster.

It's my hair....

10. 'Are you bald?'

Sure if that would give you additional questions about number 9....

11. 'Ya know, I was just nervous to approach you because I didn't know if you spoke English”

How ironic! I was scared to approach you because you look like an ignorant fool!

12. "Do you miss showing off your hair?"

Gotta be honest, my hair is pretty fabulous... But I get to show it off to my girlfriends and they're the only ones I care about seeing my hair anyways.

Last post to come tomorrow!

What Did You Have To Do To Join This Cult Anyways?

"And when they finally ended the secret African chant, I came into a room with three shadowy figures dressed in nothing but sunglasses and covered in feathers.  Then, I gave the pledge.  They put me in a plastic bag and I sat in the closet for 45 minutes listening to Linkin Park's Greatest Hits.  They lit a candle of solitude and I took 4 passes around the table of knowledge - counterclockwise - while drinking 7.2 ounces of lamb's blood".......

NOTTTTT!

Becoming Muslim is not entering a fraternity in college.  It's not a cult.  I didn't have to do a naked run or chug 49320490 beers.  It was simple.

When I decided that I felt like I was just about ready to convert, I actually found some girl on Facebook that I had seen around quite a lot at school.  I felt like every where I went, this one hijabi kept popping up on campus. She was my hijabi soulmate.

So, one day, I randomly stumbled onto her Facebook and sent her a message saying that I was interested in converting and that I would like to talk more with her.

I met with her and she was amazing.  She's still one of my dearest friends now - (love you Foof).  She talked to me about a lot of things, she introduced me to another convert - another dear friend of mine (love you too Michelle LoL) - that she felt would understand me well.  She took me to the masjid for halaqa (our version of Bible study), she took me to a woman's house for lessons in the meaning of Qur'an. She introduced me to her friends. She was so helpful.

And, she introduced me to the sweetest woman, Fadia, who held a weekly halaqa for converts.  I contacted Fadia, who was a local doctor, and spoke with her about how I was interested in converting.  She said she wanted to meet with me. She was like the gatekeeper for converts.  She helped to organize people taking their "shahada" or declaration of faith in Islam.

So, I met her at a Wendy's one afternoon and we talked.  I thought there would be steps to converting.  I thought she would want me to go very slowly. And she did.  We started talking and she asked me what I knew about Islam.

Now, I had been reading Quran and studying and going to halaqa from November to May for 3 or 4 hours a day.  I didn't just wake up one morning and say "I'd like an omelette, and I'd like to be Muslim!" 

So, I started talking about everything I knew. At first, she asked if I knew the pillars of the faith, and I listed them off.  She asked about certain things that Muslims would know, and I knew them.  Then, we went deeper.  I talked about differences in Shia and Sunni, I talked about hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (saws) - AND, I said "sallah Allahu alayhi wa salaam" after I talked about him. She could see that I REALLY know what I'm talking about.

Then we talked about WHY I want to convert.  How I felt like I was always Muslim.  How my mother passed away and what that taught me from a young age about life and religion, and all of the faith I had that I was making the right decision - and a decision that would be permanent.  We both cried.  Like babies.  In Wendy's.  Eating Frosties.  

At the start of the conversation, she was putting me on a plan to convert maybe in a month or two.

By the end of the conversation, she wanted me to convert that week.

She knew I knew what I was talking about.  I don't make brash decisions.

When I knew, I knew.

That's it.

So, I met her on that next Friday, May 27th, 2011, outside the masjid.  In a white hijab and white tunic. And we talked.  I got her a little gift, and all of my Muslim friends came. She asked if I was sure.  And I was.

People I knew from before I was Muslim even that wouldn't typically come to the masjid for Friday prayer, they came to see me. 

IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE, (and I sat front row of a Spice Girls concert when I was 7, so that's really saying something!).

And I sat there next to all the girls I knew from the mosque, nervous that I would have to speak in front of all of these people.

I've further described the day I took my shahada in another post, and the details of the day. Even the khutba (Muslim version of "sermon") applied to my life.

So, the Imam announced my intent to convert.  And, I went to the side of the masullah ("prayer hall") and took my shahada in front of the crowded masjid.

I didn't have to do some crazy ritual.  I didn't have to be baptized.  I didn't have to go through a 6 week training course, like when you convert to Judaism.  I just said, in Arabic and English, "There is no god but God and Muhammad is His Messenger." And that's it. That's all you have to do.

Yep, that's all.

The women were crying, people brought me gifts, and they really treated me amazing.  I was very thankful - and I still am thankful.  I'll never forget that treatment.  Whenever I hear of someone else taking their shahada I go out of my way to congratulate them.

In Islam, when you take your shahada, you are wiped clean of all your sins.  All of the things I did before that day vanished.  And, I started with a blank slate.  Alhamdulilah, what a blessing. 

I got a Get Out of Jail Free card! Jealous, much?

After taking your shahada, you go home, take a shower, and you're done. (By the way, this shower feels amazing.  Imagine a shower after you roll around in the mud and you're getting all the dirt off, this one actually felt like all my sins were washing off.  I know that's so damn cheesy, but I swear to you).

That's all the steps.  Shampoo, rinse, repeat.

Literally, all you have to do to becoming Muslim is this:

- Have a true intention in your heart

- Say (in ANY gathering of more than 2 people - doesn't even have to be the mosque): "There is no god but God, and Muhammad is His Messenger" 

- Shower

TA DAAAAA.

I've made casseroles that took longer.

One request I have of you - whoever you are: Please pray (make du'aa) for the three women who helped me most in taking my shahada: Afaf, Michelle, and Fadia.  May Allah protect them and reward them all with Jannah for being such a wonderful help, guidance, and role models for me (and in Fadia's case, a LARGE quantity of other women).

May Allah (swt) guide us all to His truth, May He reward all of the people who helped me in my conversion or were part of the process in ANY capacity, and may He make conversion easy on all of us as it is intended to be. Ameen.

What Was The Hardest Thing for You to Give Up? It Must Have Been Drugs, Yes?

EVERY SINGLE MUSLIM PERSON I HAVE EVER MET ASKS ME THIS QUESTION! A lot of nonMuslims as well. It's... frustrating... We're not supposed to talk about any haram we have done, so why are you asking me?  What do you expect me to say? I really found it difficult to kick the hard drugs!

No, I never did any drugs in my entire life, but I love responding with "cocaine" because I appreciate the reactions.

Last month there was a post that I wrote that allowed me to vent the frustration I have when Muslims think nonMuslims do all sorts of terrible things, and I hope you realize that I didn't do a lot of haram things before I was Muslim.  Yes, I did things I'm not necessarily proud of, I wasn't perfect, but I wasn't some crazy wild rapper's girlfriend or something.

But, because everyone asks this, the hardest thing to give up was...

BACON!

Just kidding ;)

If you really want to know, I'll tell you...

The hardest thing really to give up was friendships.

I'm NOT a girly girl.

I hate girls, to be honest.

Not all girls, of course, I do have a select few girlfriends that I love,  but I find girls very hard to get along with.

I'm too honest. I don't when other people give me "advice." I have more important things to discuss than my purse and the color of my nail polish.

Really, I do.

I don't think I'm better than anyone, and yes, I can talk about purses, but I can't talk about them for 6 hours. Some girls can.

I don't think women are stupid, and I don't think all women are shallow, but finding girlfriends that share interests with me and can handle my personality is very rare.

So, I have always been very careful about the friends I chose.

And, now that I'm Muslim, having very close friendships with people who are doing things that my religion and my heart disagrees with, just doesn't work for me.

So, I've had to change.

I maintain my friendships, yes, but I do so in a different way.

There is a barrier between friendship and sisterhood.

There's rules.  And, my nonMuslim friends respect my rules. Or, they don't talk to me anymore. Either way.

But what is really beautiful is that I have made a lot of girlfriends that I really like.  

For a long time I hung out with two types of girlfriends: my fun friends and my religious friends.

There was a separation.

Some like to hang out, we watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians, we shop, but at the end of the day, I get sick of the shallow conversations.

Some like to talk about religion all the time, we have in-depth discussions, and I LOVE IT! But, at the same time, although being Muslim is the most important thing in my life, it's not the only thing.  There are other subjects to talk about.

Now, the other night was my Saudi girlfriend's birthday.  I've only known her for a few months, but we've become close - we hang out every weekend.  She's even introduced me to her group of friends and we're all friends now.  But, I realized for the first time this is the perfect group of friends for me.  They're crazy.  They're so much fun.  We dance in the middle of the living room in grass skirts for two hours and crack up... LoL.

But, after we dance, we sit down and talk about hadith, my conversion, problems in the ummah...

They are both intelligent and fun.  Which is awesome.

And I'm so thankful to have found girlfriends that are such a perfect balance for me. It just goes to show that when you have a sincere intention to rid yourself of something that is haram, God will replace it with an even greater gift.

Alhamdulilah.

If you're Muslim, though, please consider that nonMuslims are really not that different than us.  They may have different ideas of what is okay, their religions may have guided them in different ways, but they're not all majaneen (crazies). Many of them follow the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad without even knowing it, just because it feels right.

May Allah (swt) keep us all away from haram, may He bless all of our friendships, and may He help us not to judge other people before knowing them.  Ameen.

Your Husband Must Be Muslim, That's Why You're Brainwashed, Right?

Yep! You got it! My imaginary husband who put this invisible ring on my finger is Muslim so I just wear this on my head to make him happy. Umm .... no.  You're stupid, and by the way, it's a 22 carat invisible ring. And my imaginary husband is the guy that got kicked out of Saudi Arabia for being too hot. Duh.

After the Boston Marathon tragedy a lot of people were speaking out about the widow of one of the attackers as she is a convert and making this accusation of her.

It made me really mad.

And I feel terrible for that poor girl bless her little soul.

I think I have it rough with my friends and family? Imagine if I married someone accused of something like Boston.

The amount of judgment I can imagine is intolerable.

May Allah (swt) relieve her of her burdens and may she fight through the ignorance to become a voice for all of us.

What I found the worst was that I read an article (or watched a TV segment - I can't remember) where her old professor said that she was a bright girl with a great future, it's a shame she became a Muslim because of that guy.

What killed me is that I can totally see something like this happening to me and reporters calling up like my freshman year Geology professor who thought that I should be a geologist and was pissed when I told him that I could not imagine my life spent with rocks all day.

Yah, he was offended.  He looked like an angry version of Danny Tanner.  I insulted his passion. He would claim "Muslim" on me.

And, they showed pictures of her with hair... what the hell? That's so messed up.  That's her choice to wear hijab, why do you think it's appropriate to show pictures of her without hijab just because her husband messed up? I'm sure they'd find some ridiculous pictures of me and post them all over the internet. (By the way, before anyone judges me for this sentence, I don't care if you're a 53 year old niqqabi, you have a skankalicious picture SOMEWHERE).

I would flip.

You can't assume that we all became Muslim because we married some guy.

(Who are these persuasive men? I want them on my dawah team!)

I would do a lot for someone I really loved, that's true.  Give up my favorite food perhaps, do a symbolic dance of sorts, dye my hair red.  But change my religion? No chance in hell.

And last week, at my open house, a woman came up to me and said "your husband must be Muslim right? What's your story?" No. Not right. I'm not married. I'm Muslim on my own choosing. No guy in my ear.  No threats.  Just Muslim because I want to be.

Like I've said before, some girls meet some 7/11 owner named Firas, fall in love with him and "convert" to Islam because he says so and they can't marry anyone else otherwise.  And he wants his greencard.

But that's not every person.

Look, I don't LOVE these stories, it wasn't my path, but who am I to judge those girls?

Maybe they really believe it. Maybe Firas is meant to be a Muslim missionary. I don't know.  You don't know.

Most people just follow the religion of their parents, so why is it SOOO wrong to follow the religion of your husband?

It's not my choice. But it's a choice.

I also have spoken to a lot of my friends that converted after falling in love with a guy and what I realized is that it wasn't because their husbands are Muslim that they converted.  It was because it's the first time they ever had a deep conversation about religion with someone that was Muslim and they finally understood it.  You probably aren't going to talk to your girlfriends about the secrets of life, religion, faith, etc... in a deep way. You're gonna talk about shoes.  But, you will talk to a potential spouse that deeply.  So, that's when Islam comes up.  When you're deep in conversation.

But, please, don't assume it's because of some controlling Muslim guy that these women would change their faith.  Islam is the fastest spreading religion - it's not because there's a lot of controlling dudes and weak women.  It's because it's beautiful.

There's a LOT of male converts as well so riddle me that one....

And Muslim people - that were born Muslim - don't be so quick to ridicule converts who convert after falling in love with a Muslim guy.  You're not God.  And, there's no reason to be skeptical.

Again, I suck at history, but I remember this story: In battle a man took his shahada when he was about to be killed by the army of the Prophet Muhammad (saws) and the solider killed him anyway.  Prophet Muhammad (saws) told that soldier that it was wrong of him to kill him as even if he is in a pressured situation, the solider, a mere man, is not the one to say whether or not the man was Muslim.

Similarly, we can't judge.

Finally, know that no, I'm not brainwashed.  I didn't come to Islam with some "kumbaya" (no, I can't spell it!) lovey -dovey attitude towards it.  I came to it critically, harshly, like every other "average American" would.  And after fact checking, understanding, and building my knowledge then - and only then - did I fall in love with it and convert.

May Allah (swt) protect this woman, Katherine Russell, from all of the negativity in this world.  May He open peoples eyes to Islam.  May He help everyone that converts to do so willingly and for His sake only. And may everyone that takes his or her shahada die a Muslim.  Ameen.

Where Are You From? I'm From Here. No, I Mean ORIGINALLY? Cleveland.

One of the reasons I decided to move to beautiful Los Angeles, California was because some bootleg Malaysian newspaper writer who straight up stole my convert story and published it in his country said I was from Los Angeles.   Just kidding - (although I thought it was pretty funny that they just made facts up out of thin air and I was quite offended that he used a picture of some really unattractive white chick to represent me in the article! Rude.)

I moved here because of diversity.

I came to visit a friend, walked the streets of Hollywood and people said "salaam" to me when they saw my hijab.  White people!

Imagine that.

So, when I experienced people speaking 20 different languages when I walked a one mile stretch of sidewalk, I realized how beautiful that was and that I wanted to be a part of it.  Permanently.

A month later I moved here.

I'm a sucker for diversity, what can I say?

And, guess what... people are cool to me here ALL THE TIME!

It's beautiful!

I go out to lunch with my Asian boss and white people on the sidewalk go out of their way to say "salaam" - the greeting that Muslims give each other meaning peace.  How cute is that? 

PLUS, they do it in the sweetest voice and they touched their little hearts when they said it.  Merrrrr ... adorable!!

This is a beautiful example I wish everyone had the opportunity to experience, because I wasn't experiencing that in Toledo, Ohio.

The one thing I have noticed about Los Angeles, however, is everyone is curious about me.

I'm not saying that because I think I'm God's gift to earth and I'm like Los Angeles' own unicorn or something... I mean because I look different.

I hold open houses every weekend to advertise the houses we have for sale and 1 out of every 3 people ask me where I'm from.

No matter what their ethnicity is.

And, they don't do it in a mean way.  They do it out of love.

Usually though I think it's so annoying!

Standard Couple #1: WHERE ARE YOU FROMMMMM?

Me: I'm from here.

Standard Couple #2:NOOOO I MEAN WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS FROM?

Me: Here.

Standard Couple #3: NO I MEAN ORIGINALLY

Me:Cleveland.

What does it matter? Are you writing a book?

My Goodness!

If I say my dad is from Iraq will that make you feel any different?

I thought about making up a story that my dad is Saudi and my mom is Syrian just so people don't ask the follow up questions...

Eventually the conversation goes:

OOOOOKAYYYY WHAT'S YOUR NATIONALITY?

I'm Czech.

OH AND YOU'RE MUSLIM?

Yes.

AH I SEE. DID YOU CONVERT?

Yes, I did.

OHHHH WHAT DOES YOUR FAMILY THINK? HOW MANY TIMES A DAY DO YOU PRAY? DO YOU SPEAK ARABIC? WHAT IS YOUR DAD'S COUSIN PHIL'S MIDDLE NAME?

None of your business! UGH! This is a Spanish style house, that's all you need to know.

Today I was reflecting on this, preparing for a meeting where I was sure I would be asked my nationality, and I realized it's not as annoying as I feel like it is.

It's actually a blessing.

Instead of being negative I should be appreciative that people are nice enough to ask and strike up a conversation as if they actually care about a stranger.

It might not be consistent with modern social cues, but it's very nice that they ask and are curious.

I'd much rather people be curious than afraid.

This post is a reminder for me to work on myself - to be more open to answering people's questions - regardless of where I am, how rushed I am, or what I'm doing.

These people are giving me the opportunity to educate them without hatred. How awesome.

May Allah (swt) teach us all to be guided guiders and teach others about our religion for all of its beauty.  May we be as curious of others as they are of us, and in a positive way.  Ameen.

Do You Wear Hijab Because Some Guy Made You? Why I Choose To Wear Hijab

I've done seven posts about different questions I get about hijab - but here's the last post in the series.  One that answers the big question: Why I DO wear hijab. No, it's not because my dad made me, it's not because it's the cultural norm in my country, and it's not because I'm worried that people will think I'm promiscuous if I don't...

Why DO I Wear Hijab?

Because God Told Me To

This is the REAL reason I wear it.  You don't know what it means to do something selflessuntil you do something for God.  He gave you life, He provides for you, but what do YOU do for Him?

One of the things that I feel like I did for Him was to wear hijab.

"And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! Turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss.” [Q 24:31]

This isn't a fancy explanation, but it's the truth.  There's nothing in the world I wouldn't do for Allah (swt) and, that's it.

Modesty

I feel very protected and safe in hijab.  It really does take away a lot of the pressure of men looking at you.  When I didn't wear hijab, guys would ask me out, touch me, just be GROSS.  Now, no one does anything that makes me feel uncomfortable.  No one touches me.  It's very powerful.

There is a pretty common story that a nonMuslim man asked a Muslim man why Muslim women cover themselves in hijab.  He took a piece of candy - took it out of the wrapper - and threw it on the ground.  It got dirty, ants came and swarmed it, etc... He took another piece of candy - that was wrapped - and threw it on the ground as well. Then, he asked the nonMuslim man if he wanted the wrapped candy or the unwrapped candy? He of course said the wrapped one. The unwrapped was to symbolize uncovered women - how they are walking through this filthy world .  The covered woman was symbolized by the wrapped candy - which is protected from the dirty things on earth.

I know it's kind of cheesy, but the meaning makes sense.

To Be a Representation

Wearing hijab gives me the amazing ability to be Super Muslim.  Everyone knows what religion I follow when I walk down the street, so there is an opportunity to answer questions that they may have.  I'm not sure what it is about ME personally that makes everyone open to ask me questions, throw out comments, and sometimes even insult me, but there must be something. It's something most other religions don't get to experience.  Maybe the Amish.  Maybe some Sikhs, or Hindus, but not MOST religions.

It's also nice that when people think I'm going to start speaking in broken English, that I'm fluent :) It shocks them sometimes that I speak English so well.  I know that sometimes people pray I don't come to their line in the grocery store because they think communicating with me will be impossible, then, I open my mouth, don't have an accent, and they realize it's not so bad to talk to a Muslim lady!

Like I've said before, it's pressure, but it's also a gift.

So I Don't Have To Do My Hair

Okay, so it's not a religious reason, but it saves me a lot of time in the morning to not have to blow dry and straighten my hair everyday! Plus, my hair looks MUCH better than it ever did when I didn't wear hijab. Fine, so it's not a reason, but definitely a perk ;)

To Prevent Myself from Doing Wrong

Every time I look in the mirror, I am reminded that I am so incredibly blessed that Allah (swt) chose me to be Muslim.  It gives me the passion about my religion that I need to live every day as the best possible Muslim I can be.  You can't go into a bar in hijab.  It very easily helps you to avoid haram.

To Remind Myself of What Really Matters

Yes, I was much more attractive to the general population before I wore hijab, but it didn't mean anything.  It is so much more important to work on what's inside of you - to perfect your religion, to better your personality, to increase your knowledge - than to work out your calves and curl your hair.  Really, it is. I know.  I promise you.

For My Future Husband

A final, very important reason.  No, I'm not married. And I might not be married for a long time, but I already love my future husband and respect him.  I wouldn't want him to be out there right now - whereever he is - showing off for girls.  I'm not a hypocrite.  So, I choose to wear hijab - partially - for him.  I already belong to him, and him to me, so I'll save my beauty for him as I save my heart for him, inshaAllah.

I'm not under any pressure to wear hijab - and I wasn't when I first started wearing it.  I love it.  And I am not taking it off. InshaAllah, not now.  Not ever.  And I don't care what that means for my job, for what people think of me, or for anything except for the fact that it pleases God.  The rest of the reasons are just support of the first reason - and doing something for God is doing it for the Best of reasons.

Don't Men Beat You If You Don't Cover Your Face?! Why I Choose Not To Wear Niqqab...Yet

Such a great question that I get from my nonMuslim friends.  I also am quite surprised that I get this question - in a different form - from Muslim men and women. I guess it's a valid question.  I care about modesty, but I don't cover my face. Why don't I wear niqqab? What am I thinking?

Well, please know that: No, men won't beat me.

And, also please know that I have so much RESPECT for niqqabi girls that do choose to cover their faces.

And, to be honest, I hope someday to wear niqqab - but under the right circumstances!

Obviously, don't take what I have to say as what God would think - Allah (swt) knows best of course! - but, I don't think that in my life it is a good decision for me right now.

So, why don't I wear niqqab?

1. It is not required.

(Pardon my paraphrasing...) There is a hadith saying that Asmaa - the daughter of Abu Bakr - came to the Prophet Muhammad (saws) wearing clothing that was not appropriate.  When the Prophet saw her, he said that it is not acceptable for a woman who has passed puberty to walk around in clothing that exposes anything except this and this and he pointed to his face and his hands.  

To me, this tells me that it is not required - or "fard" - to wear niqqab.

If Allah (swt) wanted it to be so, He would have mentioned it in Qur'an when He spoke about hijab.

2. I have a job.

Now, this is one of the much lesser arguments for me, but it's still valid.  My job requires me to have human interactions.  It's hard to have these interactions when I don't look human.  I drive little old, rich ladies around to see houses.  Do they want to get into the car with a niqqabi? Hell no. As if the hijab wasn't enough adding the niqqab would be TOO much for their little hearts.

3. It's HOT!

Holy cannoli, have you ever put on a niqqab in Southern California? And walked outside? Saudi Arabia is SO HOT I can't imagine how women live there! But it gets hot in California, too! And I can barely breathe in hijab! What if you wear glasses? Half of the day you're cleaning steam from your glasses - that's not even a life! May Allah (swt) reward the women who wear niqqab in stifling heat - especially when their husbands are walking around in tank tops!

4. It would make me unapproachable.

Part of the reason I choose to wear hijab is because it allows people to ask me questions about my religion.  Anywhere I am.  Although it gets annoying sometimes, I like that I can set the record straight and help people to understand our religion.  I can't imagine anyone coming anywhere within 400 feet of me if I have niqqab on.

5. I would probably never find a husband.

At least 14% of my appeal comes from the fact that my face is decent.  This reason is just to make you laugh. Therefore, I won't even count it as a real number.

5.  The most important reason: I live in America!

This is the truth.  This is the REAL reason I don't wear niqqab.

I live in America.

I am not saying America is right, but people in America care a lot about looks and identities.  Personal connections are critical.

No, I don't think niqqab is oppressive.  No, I'm not scared of not being pretty.

But, what I am scared of is SCARING OTHER PEOPLE.

I don't want to walk into a room and have everyone in that room praying that nothing happens to them.

I don't want an entire plane ride to be spent with the woman next to me reciting "Hail Mary"s until we arrive at our destination.

When you wear niqqab in Saudi Arabia or in some of the other Arab countries, people aren't scared of you. It's a cultural norm.

Here, in America, when I walk down the street in niqqab EVERYONE is staring at me. And, that's exactly the OPPOSITE of the point of wearing niqqab.

Women wear niqqab to show their ultimate modesty.  They wear niqqab to protect themselves from perverted stares.  They wear niqqab to avoid being judged based on their beauty.

But, if you wear niqqab in America, you are going to be the most obvious person.  You will be stared at like meat everywhere you go.  You will be judged based on nothing except how you look.

It completely defeats the purpose.

Now, I do love niqqab.  I've worn it to the mall before - just to see what my niqqabi sisters experience.  And, I was stared at.  No one spoke to me.  People avoided me at all costs.  People walked on the other side of the walkway only to stay away from me. It made me uncomfortable.

So, why do I want to wear it someday if I just gave a million reasons against it?

The Prophet (saws)'s wives wore niqqab.  Who better to try to emulate than the Prophet's wives?

I think it will also teach me to care less about how I look - Hijab was a big step in this lesson in my life.  Niqqab will really finalize it for me.

That being said, it's on my "bucket list."  Someday, God willing, I will live in an Arab country, and at this time, I will find it appropriate to wear niqqab.

May we always remind each other of the purpose and meaning behind everything we do.

May Allah (swt) reward us all for our pursuits of doing anything to please Him - whether we're right or not - and may we be judged based on our intentions.