Do You Really Think In Two Years She's Going to Still Be Muslim? Yah Right!

On May 27, 2011 I took my shahada. I remember overhearing someone who was skeptical about my faith say something on that day that really broke my heart.

This person said, "I guarantee you in two years she will completely forget about Islam and go back to her old life. You know how these converts are."

Well, today is May 27, 2013, and look at me.

I am far from a perfect Muslim.  I make so many mistakes.  But, I will never forget Islam.

Two years ago today, I was blessed that Allah (swt) chose me to say:

لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله

There is no god but God and Muhammad is the messenger of God.

And this was the best day of my life.

Today is better to me than my birthday, because on my birthday I didn't do anything except be born.

On this anniversary, this marks another year of dedication to my religion and my God.

So, I will be happy to send you my P.O. Box to forward gifts to ;)

Sincerely, in the past two years I have tried to be a better person and a better Muslim every day - although on many days I'm a failure that is lucky only by the grace of God. This day really was an immense blessing.  The best one that Allah (swt) has ever bestowed on me.

Today, two years after I took my shahada, I pray that everyone in the world is able to taste these words on their lips before they die. I can only wish you experience one millionth of the appreciation I have for my religion. It really is such an honor to be Muslim.

To the person who doubted me:

It's the 2 year Muslim mark, what have you done in the past two years?

I can only speak for what Allah (swt) has decreed that I do for His sake, and I am not trying to brag, but I've helped three people to come to Islam. I've helped change the hearts of hundreds of people to see how beautiful our religion is.  I started this blog on Islam.  I have spent hours studying.  I have fasted two Ramadans.  I have recently started to do dawah on a weekly basis. I have taught classes at the masjid.  I have answered countless ridiculous questions about my religion with patience and tact.  I have chosen to wear hijab.  I've memorized several surahs.  And, I have forgiven you for this hurtful comment.

I'm not saying I'm a better Muslim than you because I swear I don't think I'm God's gift to Islam, but I would like you to know:

Every day that passes I only love Allah (swt) more than all the previous days combined.  

From the bottom of my heart, however, thank you so much.  Your comment has continued to push me to want to strive in the way of Allah more and more. You have helped me to question the things I do and want to do better to prove you wrong.  And, you have taught me a wonderful example of how not to treat new Muslims.  I only pray that you will see how far I've come in 20 years. I don't know where I'll live, if I will have a family, who I will spend my life with, but I put my trust in Allah (swt) that He will choose what is best for me as he has in the past two years.

To all my readers:

Please make du'aa for this person that they are able to benefit Islam.  Make du'aa for me as well inshaAllah.

May Allah (swt) reward all of the people who helped me convert with Jannah and may He bless me to continue to assist others in converting as well. May the day I took my shahada be one that pleases God and may it be the best memory in my heart for the rest of my life.

For Allah (swt) found me an orphan and He gave me refuge.

He found me ignorant and He guided me.

He found me poor and He gave me the gift of riches in Islam...Alhamdulilah.

What Did You Have To Do To Join This Cult Anyways?

"And when they finally ended the secret African chant, I came into a room with three shadowy figures dressed in nothing but sunglasses and covered in feathers.  Then, I gave the pledge.  They put me in a plastic bag and I sat in the closet for 45 minutes listening to Linkin Park's Greatest Hits.  They lit a candle of solitude and I took 4 passes around the table of knowledge - counterclockwise - while drinking 7.2 ounces of lamb's blood".......

NOTTTTT!

Becoming Muslim is not entering a fraternity in college.  It's not a cult.  I didn't have to do a naked run or chug 49320490 beers.  It was simple.

When I decided that I felt like I was just about ready to convert, I actually found some girl on Facebook that I had seen around quite a lot at school.  I felt like every where I went, this one hijabi kept popping up on campus. She was my hijabi soulmate.

So, one day, I randomly stumbled onto her Facebook and sent her a message saying that I was interested in converting and that I would like to talk more with her.

I met with her and she was amazing.  She's still one of my dearest friends now - (love you Foof).  She talked to me about a lot of things, she introduced me to another convert - another dear friend of mine (love you too Michelle LoL) - that she felt would understand me well.  She took me to the masjid for halaqa (our version of Bible study), she took me to a woman's house for lessons in the meaning of Qur'an. She introduced me to her friends. She was so helpful.

And, she introduced me to the sweetest woman, Fadia, who held a weekly halaqa for converts.  I contacted Fadia, who was a local doctor, and spoke with her about how I was interested in converting.  She said she wanted to meet with me. She was like the gatekeeper for converts.  She helped to organize people taking their "shahada" or declaration of faith in Islam.

So, I met her at a Wendy's one afternoon and we talked.  I thought there would be steps to converting.  I thought she would want me to go very slowly. And she did.  We started talking and she asked me what I knew about Islam.

Now, I had been reading Quran and studying and going to halaqa from November to May for 3 or 4 hours a day.  I didn't just wake up one morning and say "I'd like an omelette, and I'd like to be Muslim!" 

So, I started talking about everything I knew. At first, she asked if I knew the pillars of the faith, and I listed them off.  She asked about certain things that Muslims would know, and I knew them.  Then, we went deeper.  I talked about differences in Shia and Sunni, I talked about hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (saws) - AND, I said "sallah Allahu alayhi wa salaam" after I talked about him. She could see that I REALLY know what I'm talking about.

Then we talked about WHY I want to convert.  How I felt like I was always Muslim.  How my mother passed away and what that taught me from a young age about life and religion, and all of the faith I had that I was making the right decision - and a decision that would be permanent.  We both cried.  Like babies.  In Wendy's.  Eating Frosties.  

At the start of the conversation, she was putting me on a plan to convert maybe in a month or two.

By the end of the conversation, she wanted me to convert that week.

She knew I knew what I was talking about.  I don't make brash decisions.

When I knew, I knew.

That's it.

So, I met her on that next Friday, May 27th, 2011, outside the masjid.  In a white hijab and white tunic. And we talked.  I got her a little gift, and all of my Muslim friends came. She asked if I was sure.  And I was.

People I knew from before I was Muslim even that wouldn't typically come to the masjid for Friday prayer, they came to see me. 

IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE, (and I sat front row of a Spice Girls concert when I was 7, so that's really saying something!).

And I sat there next to all the girls I knew from the mosque, nervous that I would have to speak in front of all of these people.

I've further described the day I took my shahada in another post, and the details of the day. Even the khutba (Muslim version of "sermon") applied to my life.

So, the Imam announced my intent to convert.  And, I went to the side of the masullah ("prayer hall") and took my shahada in front of the crowded masjid.

I didn't have to do some crazy ritual.  I didn't have to be baptized.  I didn't have to go through a 6 week training course, like when you convert to Judaism.  I just said, in Arabic and English, "There is no god but God and Muhammad is His Messenger." And that's it. That's all you have to do.

Yep, that's all.

The women were crying, people brought me gifts, and they really treated me amazing.  I was very thankful - and I still am thankful.  I'll never forget that treatment.  Whenever I hear of someone else taking their shahada I go out of my way to congratulate them.

In Islam, when you take your shahada, you are wiped clean of all your sins.  All of the things I did before that day vanished.  And, I started with a blank slate.  Alhamdulilah, what a blessing. 

I got a Get Out of Jail Free card! Jealous, much?

After taking your shahada, you go home, take a shower, and you're done. (By the way, this shower feels amazing.  Imagine a shower after you roll around in the mud and you're getting all the dirt off, this one actually felt like all my sins were washing off.  I know that's so damn cheesy, but I swear to you).

That's all the steps.  Shampoo, rinse, repeat.

Literally, all you have to do to becoming Muslim is this:

- Have a true intention in your heart

- Say (in ANY gathering of more than 2 people - doesn't even have to be the mosque): "There is no god but God, and Muhammad is His Messenger" 

- Shower

TA DAAAAA.

I've made casseroles that took longer.

One request I have of you - whoever you are: Please pray (make du'aa) for the three women who helped me most in taking my shahada: Afaf, Michelle, and Fadia.  May Allah protect them and reward them all with Jannah for being such a wonderful help, guidance, and role models for me (and in Fadia's case, a LARGE quantity of other women).

May Allah (swt) guide us all to His truth, May He reward all of the people who helped me in my conversion or were part of the process in ANY capacity, and may He make conversion easy on all of us as it is intended to be. Ameen.

Of Course They Were Muslim, What Did You Expect?! My Take On Boston's Tragedy

Yes, the attacks at the Boston Marathon were allegedly caused by two men who identified themselves as Muslims.  I know. And yes, I spent all of the week that they were looking for them praying - sincerely - to God that they would not be Muslims.

And yes, I am extremely heartbroken that people who share my religion would be evil enough to kill others.

Devastated.

But, after I was devastated, I realized that they're not just Muslim.  They're Chechnayan, they're American citizens, they're men, they're a lot of other adjectives! Unfortunately, the only adjective that people care about today is "Muslim."

(I don't hate all boxers because the one brother was a boxer, do I? So don't hate all Muslims because they were Muslim!)

Probably about a year ago now, there was a plot to bomb a bridge in my hometown.  A bridge my grandparents take to go to the doctor, one that I took to go visit my friends in high school.  I remember that my aunt mentioned to me that "they must be those Muslims!" before the names were released.

And then the names of the plotters were released.  And they were some white kids.  And they were no longer "terrorists" they were just "two crazy kids!"

Even then, I remember being thankful that my family was safe, but almost more thankful that the plotters weren't Muslim, so I didn't have to hear about it for the rest of my life from my aunt. What I never thought to myself was "oh my God, they're white and I'm white!!" And, I never said to my aunt, who is also white, "look it was them whities!"

Regarding Boston, I have a confession to make:

I am pretty damn ashamed of myself, to be honest with you.

I'm ashamed that now whenever I hear a story of a "terrorist activity" on the news, I spend all my energy praying that the attackers aren't Muslim.  I'm busy praying "dear God, please tell me they're not Muslim." And what I'm not saying is "dear God, grant all the victims Jannah... forgive them of their sins, protect their families, grant them Heaven for dying innocently" even though, in my heart, that's what I WANT to say.

I wish we lived in a world where I could do that! And, I wish I was strong enough to not worry about myself so much.

I worry about going to the grocery store and having someone say "oh look at what YOUR PEOPLE did."

I want to show everyone all of the love that Muslims spread every day.  

How many buildings they've built, not the handful that they've destroyed.

How many Christians, Jews, and people of all religions that Muslims have saved, not how many they have killed.

But, I am only one person.

This week I read a quote that said "My religion doesn't oppress me, it's your ignorance" and I feel like that quote is applicable of this subject.

My religion is beautiful.  Perfect.  Muslim people are NOT perfect.

Far from it.

Especially me.

But, the anger people have leads to this intolerance and ignorance.

One thing I want Muslim people to understand however is that we cannot say "These men are not Muslims! Muslim people don't do evil things like this!"

Are you God? No.

The reality is, MUSLIM PEOPLE DO EVIL THINGS. You are a sinner. I'm a sinner.  Killing people is a MAJOR sin, but our sins are terrible too.

You are NOT the person to judge them if they believe in Islam or not.

Whether their actions are consistent with Islam is not a question - they are ABSOLUTELY actions that are NOT consistent with the teachings of our Prophert (saws) and our God.

However, as far as we can see, they were Muslims.  Imperfect Muslims, but Muslims nonetheless.

I want my nonMuslim friends to know as mad as you are at Muslims, I'm furious at these two men.

Way more mad. A million times more.

I spend every waking minute going out of my way to defend my religion, show how beautiful it is, opening doors for little old ladies, getting spit on and smiling through it so that I can put a positive image out there for others of my beliefs.

I'm a representative. So are these guys. I can spend my entire life working to change your mind and in two seconds these two people can completely destroy it.

And when something like this happens, I feel like all of my hard work, all of my restraint, all of it, is in vain.

I have to start from square one all over again trying to rebuild that image.

It's so frustrating. 

Thank God for all of the people in the world that are reasonable enough not to let the actions of a few change their opinions of an entire religion.

On behalf of these two men, I'm sorry you're disappointed. I'm sorry we disappointed you.

But please realize me apologizing for them is equivalent to Christians apologizing for the Ku Klux Klan.  (Literally, same percentages).

Just because one of the adjectives that these two men are is "Muslim" don't let that one adjective become all that they are.

How can we say that Islam is a religion of peace when things like this happen? I get it.

It does not necessarily mean that their religion is the cause for their disobedience.  With the bridge example, no one said they did it because they were Christian.

May God grant all of us - no matter what race, religion, gender, sexuality, etc... - tolerance for one another.  May He teach us the importance of compassion, holding judgments, and loving one another. May He grant all of the victims Jannah and all of their families solace.  May all of our hardwork not be in vein, and may God make us all good examples in the footsteps of the BEST example, Prophet Muhammad (saws). Ameen.

What's So Great About The Quran Anyways?! The Miracle of Our Book

Today an old friend posted on Facebook about how shocked he was when he started learning more and more about his religion of Christianity and how the Bible leaves parts out, changes details, etc... He was surprised how different his religion was from what he had learned of it.

And, it made me remember several years ago when I began researching more and more... when I felt like I needed religion in my life, but the religion my grandparents had passed down to me wasn't congruent with what I felt in my heart.

It was so painful.

And frustrating.

And it created this terrible sense of longing in me that nothing could quell until I found Islam.

But, it didn't stop me from trying to make Christianity my religion before Islam. When I delved deeper into the Bible, I found inconsistencies. Yes, there are things in it that don't make sense.

For example:

I did a skit in my freshman year of college when for a course we were asked to read the Bible.

The skit was about the difference between Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. We each had our own disciple to tell the story of Jesus about and we made it like a Maury talkshow:

"OH NO YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT JESUS WAS SON OF MAN!"

Mark (Me!): Jesus was the son of man. 

Matthew and Luke: Jesus was the Son of God.

John: Jesus was God himself.

Guess what, in a Paternity Test of Jesus, God is NOT the Father.

But, that didn't bother me as much.

What KILLED me was the fact that what was in the Bible wasn't being practiced.

For example, the Bible says to wear hijab... I haven't seen a Christian hijabi yet.

The Bible says not to gamble... but 98% of the casinos are filled with Christians.

Now, please, keep in mind Muslims believe in parts of the Bible, and parts of the Torah.  One of the pillars of the religion is we believe in the Books - not just Quran.

I think the problem is that no one ever reads the Bible... and when they do, not literally.

My grandmother is a pretty devout Christian and she even admits that she doesn't think that The Bible is the word of God.  She reads the Bible every day.

People say it's an "interpretation."

Yes, not every Muslim person follows what the Quran says.  Of course not! We are all messed up, too! But at least I feel in Islam we all believe in Quran.  We all know that it is the Truth.  And that it is what we SHOULD be doing.  There is a shame about going against the Quran.  I can only think of one Muslim guy I know that shares on Facebook each time he gets drunk.

What I love about Islam is that we REALLY believe that the Quran is LITERALLY THE WORD OF GOD.

Straight up. From Him to us. 

AND, there are millions (sources say approximately ten million, but don't quote me) of men and women around the world that have the ENTIRE Quran memorized.

When I first learned about these people - called "Hafiz of Quran" - I thought about how many people have the Bible memorized, and soon realized what language would they memorize it in?

See, there are thousands of different versions of the Bible.

There's ONE version of the Quran.

Yes. That's what's so special. There's just ONE.

One.

O.

N.

E.

When I first learned that about Quran I was shocked! What the hell do you mean there's only ONE?

There is one version of the Arabic Quran. Every little letter and accent is the same. Every single one.

No matter which one you pick up.

Can you imagine if that was true of the Bible? The Bible has inconsistencies within ITSELF.

Let alone the entire book!

Yes, there are different translations of Quran.  I read a side-by-side Arabic - English translation, for example.

The Arabic is exactly the same as all other Qurans. The English, not so much.

Obviously there is no exact English translation for all Arabic words, same thing with German or Portuguese or Urdu, any other language.

That, in itself is a miracle to me. This doesn't allow for "interpretations." This means it is literal.

There aren't inconsistencies (except in places where rules changed during the revelation of the book- i.e. at first alcohol wasn't prohibited, but instead people were commanded not to come to prayer drunk and eventually, before the end of the Prophet Muhammad (saws)'s life, alcohol was then forbiden).

But, guess what, the Quran says "don't drink" so I "don't drink."

Imagine that!

My History Lesson: And, I friggin hate history, but from what I learned, the Quran was memorized by the Arab people during the time of the Prophet Muhammad (saws) as he would receive a revelation he would repeat it.  At the time the Arabs were amazing memorizers and they would then memorize word-for-word what he said.  Many people all memorized the same words, so it was not as if it could be changed by some random camel rider. It was eventually written on the shoulder blade bones of camels and when the people decided to make the written copy - the one we use today - they gathered a bunch of different hafiz (memorizers) and wrote down what they had recited.  They were all consistent. Feel free to correct anything wrong I said in here, because this is straight from memory from 3 classes I took 2 years ago.

I guess the point of the entire post is for two reasons:

1. If you are going to claim a religion, at least read the book. If you are Jewish - BE JEWISH. If you are Sikh - BE SIKH!  I don't care! Just know what "Being Jewish" means. Know what the Book says. Know the fundamentals of your religion. Go to temple. Go to church. Go buy a dreidel.  Do what you want.

And, don't tell me you don't agree with aspects of my religion that are also a part of yours.

2. If you're Muslim, please, we need to be so proud of our Quran.  Alhamdulilah wa subhanAllah what a miracle!!! 

I said before: "I would stay up as late as possible reading Qur’an and crying knowing that I was reading the truth. I reflect on how beautiful it is that Allah (swt) gave all of the other Prophets the power to perform miracles for the people of their time to see, but he gave Prophet Muhammad (salla Allahu alayhi wa salaam) a miracle that I get to hold in my hands every day, the Qur’an."

Really, it is such an immense blessing and we can't take it for granted.  I'm totally guilty of it, too.

You buy a fancy $200 golden Quran, but you never take it off the shelf.

It's not a decoration.  This isn't Pottery Barn.  This is a miracle.

May Allah (swt) help us all to come closer to Him through whichever path He has decreed for us.  Even if you're not Muslim, He chose a path for you. May He make us all passionate about our knowledge of Him through His Book, and inshaAllah someday I - and millions of others - will become Hafiza of Quran.

Do You Wear Hijab Because Some Guy Made You? Why I Choose To Wear Hijab

I've done seven posts about different questions I get about hijab - but here's the last post in the series.  One that answers the big question: Why I DO wear hijab. No, it's not because my dad made me, it's not because it's the cultural norm in my country, and it's not because I'm worried that people will think I'm promiscuous if I don't...

Why DO I Wear Hijab?

Because God Told Me To

This is the REAL reason I wear it.  You don't know what it means to do something selflessuntil you do something for God.  He gave you life, He provides for you, but what do YOU do for Him?

One of the things that I feel like I did for Him was to wear hijab.

"And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! Turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss.” [Q 24:31]

This isn't a fancy explanation, but it's the truth.  There's nothing in the world I wouldn't do for Allah (swt) and, that's it.

Modesty

I feel very protected and safe in hijab.  It really does take away a lot of the pressure of men looking at you.  When I didn't wear hijab, guys would ask me out, touch me, just be GROSS.  Now, no one does anything that makes me feel uncomfortable.  No one touches me.  It's very powerful.

There is a pretty common story that a nonMuslim man asked a Muslim man why Muslim women cover themselves in hijab.  He took a piece of candy - took it out of the wrapper - and threw it on the ground.  It got dirty, ants came and swarmed it, etc... He took another piece of candy - that was wrapped - and threw it on the ground as well. Then, he asked the nonMuslim man if he wanted the wrapped candy or the unwrapped candy? He of course said the wrapped one. The unwrapped was to symbolize uncovered women - how they are walking through this filthy world .  The covered woman was symbolized by the wrapped candy - which is protected from the dirty things on earth.

I know it's kind of cheesy, but the meaning makes sense.

To Be a Representation

Wearing hijab gives me the amazing ability to be Super Muslim.  Everyone knows what religion I follow when I walk down the street, so there is an opportunity to answer questions that they may have.  I'm not sure what it is about ME personally that makes everyone open to ask me questions, throw out comments, and sometimes even insult me, but there must be something. It's something most other religions don't get to experience.  Maybe the Amish.  Maybe some Sikhs, or Hindus, but not MOST religions.

It's also nice that when people think I'm going to start speaking in broken English, that I'm fluent :) It shocks them sometimes that I speak English so well.  I know that sometimes people pray I don't come to their line in the grocery store because they think communicating with me will be impossible, then, I open my mouth, don't have an accent, and they realize it's not so bad to talk to a Muslim lady!

Like I've said before, it's pressure, but it's also a gift.

So I Don't Have To Do My Hair

Okay, so it's not a religious reason, but it saves me a lot of time in the morning to not have to blow dry and straighten my hair everyday! Plus, my hair looks MUCH better than it ever did when I didn't wear hijab. Fine, so it's not a reason, but definitely a perk ;)

To Prevent Myself from Doing Wrong

Every time I look in the mirror, I am reminded that I am so incredibly blessed that Allah (swt) chose me to be Muslim.  It gives me the passion about my religion that I need to live every day as the best possible Muslim I can be.  You can't go into a bar in hijab.  It very easily helps you to avoid haram.

To Remind Myself of What Really Matters

Yes, I was much more attractive to the general population before I wore hijab, but it didn't mean anything.  It is so much more important to work on what's inside of you - to perfect your religion, to better your personality, to increase your knowledge - than to work out your calves and curl your hair.  Really, it is. I know.  I promise you.

For My Future Husband

A final, very important reason.  No, I'm not married. And I might not be married for a long time, but I already love my future husband and respect him.  I wouldn't want him to be out there right now - whereever he is - showing off for girls.  I'm not a hypocrite.  So, I choose to wear hijab - partially - for him.  I already belong to him, and him to me, so I'll save my beauty for him as I save my heart for him, inshaAllah.

I'm not under any pressure to wear hijab - and I wasn't when I first started wearing it.  I love it.  And I am not taking it off. InshaAllah, not now.  Not ever.  And I don't care what that means for my job, for what people think of me, or for anything except for the fact that it pleases God.  The rest of the reasons are just support of the first reason - and doing something for God is doing it for the Best of reasons.