Your Husband Must Be Muslim, That's Why You're Brainwashed, Right?

Yep! You got it! My imaginary husband who put this invisible ring on my finger is Muslim so I just wear this on my head to make him happy. Umm .... no.  You're stupid, and by the way, it's a 22 carat invisible ring. And my imaginary husband is the guy that got kicked out of Saudi Arabia for being too hot. Duh.

After the Boston Marathon tragedy a lot of people were speaking out about the widow of one of the attackers as she is a convert and making this accusation of her.

It made me really mad.

And I feel terrible for that poor girl bless her little soul.

I think I have it rough with my friends and family? Imagine if I married someone accused of something like Boston.

The amount of judgment I can imagine is intolerable.

May Allah (swt) relieve her of her burdens and may she fight through the ignorance to become a voice for all of us.

What I found the worst was that I read an article (or watched a TV segment - I can't remember) where her old professor said that she was a bright girl with a great future, it's a shame she became a Muslim because of that guy.

What killed me is that I can totally see something like this happening to me and reporters calling up like my freshman year Geology professor who thought that I should be a geologist and was pissed when I told him that I could not imagine my life spent with rocks all day.

Yah, he was offended.  He looked like an angry version of Danny Tanner.  I insulted his passion. He would claim "Muslim" on me.

And, they showed pictures of her with hair... what the hell? That's so messed up.  That's her choice to wear hijab, why do you think it's appropriate to show pictures of her without hijab just because her husband messed up? I'm sure they'd find some ridiculous pictures of me and post them all over the internet. (By the way, before anyone judges me for this sentence, I don't care if you're a 53 year old niqqabi, you have a skankalicious picture SOMEWHERE).

I would flip.

You can't assume that we all became Muslim because we married some guy.

(Who are these persuasive men? I want them on my dawah team!)

I would do a lot for someone I really loved, that's true.  Give up my favorite food perhaps, do a symbolic dance of sorts, dye my hair red.  But change my religion? No chance in hell.

And last week, at my open house, a woman came up to me and said "your husband must be Muslim right? What's your story?" No. Not right. I'm not married. I'm Muslim on my own choosing. No guy in my ear.  No threats.  Just Muslim because I want to be.

Like I've said before, some girls meet some 7/11 owner named Firas, fall in love with him and "convert" to Islam because he says so and they can't marry anyone else otherwise.  And he wants his greencard.

But that's not every person.

Look, I don't LOVE these stories, it wasn't my path, but who am I to judge those girls?

Maybe they really believe it. Maybe Firas is meant to be a Muslim missionary. I don't know.  You don't know.

Most people just follow the religion of their parents, so why is it SOOO wrong to follow the religion of your husband?

It's not my choice. But it's a choice.

I also have spoken to a lot of my friends that converted after falling in love with a guy and what I realized is that it wasn't because their husbands are Muslim that they converted.  It was because it's the first time they ever had a deep conversation about religion with someone that was Muslim and they finally understood it.  You probably aren't going to talk to your girlfriends about the secrets of life, religion, faith, etc... in a deep way. You're gonna talk about shoes.  But, you will talk to a potential spouse that deeply.  So, that's when Islam comes up.  When you're deep in conversation.

But, please, don't assume it's because of some controlling Muslim guy that these women would change their faith.  Islam is the fastest spreading religion - it's not because there's a lot of controlling dudes and weak women.  It's because it's beautiful.

There's a LOT of male converts as well so riddle me that one....

And Muslim people - that were born Muslim - don't be so quick to ridicule converts who convert after falling in love with a Muslim guy.  You're not God.  And, there's no reason to be skeptical.

Again, I suck at history, but I remember this story: In battle a man took his shahada when he was about to be killed by the army of the Prophet Muhammad (saws) and the solider killed him anyway.  Prophet Muhammad (saws) told that soldier that it was wrong of him to kill him as even if he is in a pressured situation, the solider, a mere man, is not the one to say whether or not the man was Muslim.

Similarly, we can't judge.

Finally, know that no, I'm not brainwashed.  I didn't come to Islam with some "kumbaya" (no, I can't spell it!) lovey -dovey attitude towards it.  I came to it critically, harshly, like every other "average American" would.  And after fact checking, understanding, and building my knowledge then - and only then - did I fall in love with it and convert.

May Allah (swt) protect this woman, Katherine Russell, from all of the negativity in this world.  May He open peoples eyes to Islam.  May He help everyone that converts to do so willingly and for His sake only. And may everyone that takes his or her shahada die a Muslim.  Ameen.

Where Are You From? I'm From Here. No, I Mean ORIGINALLY? Cleveland.

One of the reasons I decided to move to beautiful Los Angeles, California was because some bootleg Malaysian newspaper writer who straight up stole my convert story and published it in his country said I was from Los Angeles.   Just kidding - (although I thought it was pretty funny that they just made facts up out of thin air and I was quite offended that he used a picture of some really unattractive white chick to represent me in the article! Rude.)

I moved here because of diversity.

I came to visit a friend, walked the streets of Hollywood and people said "salaam" to me when they saw my hijab.  White people!

Imagine that.

So, when I experienced people speaking 20 different languages when I walked a one mile stretch of sidewalk, I realized how beautiful that was and that I wanted to be a part of it.  Permanently.

A month later I moved here.

I'm a sucker for diversity, what can I say?

And, guess what... people are cool to me here ALL THE TIME!

It's beautiful!

I go out to lunch with my Asian boss and white people on the sidewalk go out of their way to say "salaam" - the greeting that Muslims give each other meaning peace.  How cute is that? 

PLUS, they do it in the sweetest voice and they touched their little hearts when they said it.  Merrrrr ... adorable!!

This is a beautiful example I wish everyone had the opportunity to experience, because I wasn't experiencing that in Toledo, Ohio.

The one thing I have noticed about Los Angeles, however, is everyone is curious about me.

I'm not saying that because I think I'm God's gift to earth and I'm like Los Angeles' own unicorn or something... I mean because I look different.

I hold open houses every weekend to advertise the houses we have for sale and 1 out of every 3 people ask me where I'm from.

No matter what their ethnicity is.

And, they don't do it in a mean way.  They do it out of love.

Usually though I think it's so annoying!

Standard Couple #1: WHERE ARE YOU FROMMMMM?

Me: I'm from here.

Standard Couple #2:NOOOO I MEAN WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS FROM?

Me: Here.

Standard Couple #3: NO I MEAN ORIGINALLY

Me:Cleveland.

What does it matter? Are you writing a book?

My Goodness!

If I say my dad is from Iraq will that make you feel any different?

I thought about making up a story that my dad is Saudi and my mom is Syrian just so people don't ask the follow up questions...

Eventually the conversation goes:

OOOOOKAYYYY WHAT'S YOUR NATIONALITY?

I'm Czech.

OH AND YOU'RE MUSLIM?

Yes.

AH I SEE. DID YOU CONVERT?

Yes, I did.

OHHHH WHAT DOES YOUR FAMILY THINK? HOW MANY TIMES A DAY DO YOU PRAY? DO YOU SPEAK ARABIC? WHAT IS YOUR DAD'S COUSIN PHIL'S MIDDLE NAME?

None of your business! UGH! This is a Spanish style house, that's all you need to know.

Today I was reflecting on this, preparing for a meeting where I was sure I would be asked my nationality, and I realized it's not as annoying as I feel like it is.

It's actually a blessing.

Instead of being negative I should be appreciative that people are nice enough to ask and strike up a conversation as if they actually care about a stranger.

It might not be consistent with modern social cues, but it's very nice that they ask and are curious.

I'd much rather people be curious than afraid.

This post is a reminder for me to work on myself - to be more open to answering people's questions - regardless of where I am, how rushed I am, or what I'm doing.

These people are giving me the opportunity to educate them without hatred. How awesome.

May Allah (swt) teach us all to be guided guiders and teach others about our religion for all of its beauty.  May we be as curious of others as they are of us, and in a positive way.  Ameen.

Of Course They Were Muslim, What Did You Expect?! My Take On Boston's Tragedy

Yes, the attacks at the Boston Marathon were allegedly caused by two men who identified themselves as Muslims.  I know. And yes, I spent all of the week that they were looking for them praying - sincerely - to God that they would not be Muslims.

And yes, I am extremely heartbroken that people who share my religion would be evil enough to kill others.

Devastated.

But, after I was devastated, I realized that they're not just Muslim.  They're Chechnayan, they're American citizens, they're men, they're a lot of other adjectives! Unfortunately, the only adjective that people care about today is "Muslim."

(I don't hate all boxers because the one brother was a boxer, do I? So don't hate all Muslims because they were Muslim!)

Probably about a year ago now, there was a plot to bomb a bridge in my hometown.  A bridge my grandparents take to go to the doctor, one that I took to go visit my friends in high school.  I remember that my aunt mentioned to me that "they must be those Muslims!" before the names were released.

And then the names of the plotters were released.  And they were some white kids.  And they were no longer "terrorists" they were just "two crazy kids!"

Even then, I remember being thankful that my family was safe, but almost more thankful that the plotters weren't Muslim, so I didn't have to hear about it for the rest of my life from my aunt. What I never thought to myself was "oh my God, they're white and I'm white!!" And, I never said to my aunt, who is also white, "look it was them whities!"

Regarding Boston, I have a confession to make:

I am pretty damn ashamed of myself, to be honest with you.

I'm ashamed that now whenever I hear a story of a "terrorist activity" on the news, I spend all my energy praying that the attackers aren't Muslim.  I'm busy praying "dear God, please tell me they're not Muslim." And what I'm not saying is "dear God, grant all the victims Jannah... forgive them of their sins, protect their families, grant them Heaven for dying innocently" even though, in my heart, that's what I WANT to say.

I wish we lived in a world where I could do that! And, I wish I was strong enough to not worry about myself so much.

I worry about going to the grocery store and having someone say "oh look at what YOUR PEOPLE did."

I want to show everyone all of the love that Muslims spread every day.  

How many buildings they've built, not the handful that they've destroyed.

How many Christians, Jews, and people of all religions that Muslims have saved, not how many they have killed.

But, I am only one person.

This week I read a quote that said "My religion doesn't oppress me, it's your ignorance" and I feel like that quote is applicable of this subject.

My religion is beautiful.  Perfect.  Muslim people are NOT perfect.

Far from it.

Especially me.

But, the anger people have leads to this intolerance and ignorance.

One thing I want Muslim people to understand however is that we cannot say "These men are not Muslims! Muslim people don't do evil things like this!"

Are you God? No.

The reality is, MUSLIM PEOPLE DO EVIL THINGS. You are a sinner. I'm a sinner.  Killing people is a MAJOR sin, but our sins are terrible too.

You are NOT the person to judge them if they believe in Islam or not.

Whether their actions are consistent with Islam is not a question - they are ABSOLUTELY actions that are NOT consistent with the teachings of our Prophert (saws) and our God.

However, as far as we can see, they were Muslims.  Imperfect Muslims, but Muslims nonetheless.

I want my nonMuslim friends to know as mad as you are at Muslims, I'm furious at these two men.

Way more mad. A million times more.

I spend every waking minute going out of my way to defend my religion, show how beautiful it is, opening doors for little old ladies, getting spit on and smiling through it so that I can put a positive image out there for others of my beliefs.

I'm a representative. So are these guys. I can spend my entire life working to change your mind and in two seconds these two people can completely destroy it.

And when something like this happens, I feel like all of my hard work, all of my restraint, all of it, is in vain.

I have to start from square one all over again trying to rebuild that image.

It's so frustrating. 

Thank God for all of the people in the world that are reasonable enough not to let the actions of a few change their opinions of an entire religion.

On behalf of these two men, I'm sorry you're disappointed. I'm sorry we disappointed you.

But please realize me apologizing for them is equivalent to Christians apologizing for the Ku Klux Klan.  (Literally, same percentages).

Just because one of the adjectives that these two men are is "Muslim" don't let that one adjective become all that they are.

How can we say that Islam is a religion of peace when things like this happen? I get it.

It does not necessarily mean that their religion is the cause for their disobedience.  With the bridge example, no one said they did it because they were Christian.

May God grant all of us - no matter what race, religion, gender, sexuality, etc... - tolerance for one another.  May He teach us the importance of compassion, holding judgments, and loving one another. May He grant all of the victims Jannah and all of their families solace.  May all of our hardwork not be in vein, and may God make us all good examples in the footsteps of the BEST example, Prophet Muhammad (saws). Ameen.

Now That You're Muslim, You Have To Hate America, Right?

I will credit my lovely friend Sarah with this gem.  I love her, but this question is absolutely ridiculous. She asked me during the middle of a meeting as if it was dancing around in her head for years, and she thought it would be appropriate to ask at that exact moment. "So, now that you're Muslim, they make you hate America, right?"

I cracked up. I thought she was joking.  But within a second I saw in her face that she was DEAD SERIOUS.

"Umm, no Sarah, I love America.  Being Muslim has nothing to do with America."

Then, she asked "Didn't your Prophet hate America or something?"

"No, Sarah, our Prophet Muhammad (saws) lived hundreds of years before America was founded."

"Oh, I always thought that was a rule."

I considered shaking her and forcing her to read a book.

The media is so manipulative of people's thoughts that they make hundreds of assumptions based on what they see on television. So much so that they think hating America is one of the pillars of our religion.

America was never mentioned in our religion's fundamentals - it's not in Quran, Hadith, etc... - in either a positive or a negative way.

And NO, I DON'T HATE AMERICA! I LOVE AMERICA! 

If I didn't, I wouldn't live here!

I don't love how all people act in America, I don't love that people wear booty shorts in WalMart, I don't love that people think I don't speak English because I look different, I don't love corn dogs and bacon, But I LOVE AMERICA.

I love our freedom, I love my grandfathers for serving in America's Armed Forces, I love that in a 40 hour drive from the East Coast to West Coast I saw every possible climate you could ever imagine, I love that I can love the soldiers while still hating the war, I love that I can write this blog because we have freedom of speech and freedom of religion,

I participate in the Pledge of Allegiance, and I know the National Anthem. And still, I took my shahada, and I know Al-Fatiha.

Being Muslim doesn't make me hate my country. Unfortunately, however, this country makes you hate Islam.

You've heard of Islamophobia, but I've never heard of Americaphobia.

I'm sure the vast majority of my Muslim brothers and sisters don't look at you with hate when you walk by them on the street, however, we often are looked at in this way.

Being a Muslim in America does change my perspective, yes.  It makes me critical of the lack of morals people have, yes.  It also makes me critical of how "God-less" people can be.  How some people think nothing can control them, but they forget God made them, and His plan is THE PLAN.

Just because you're the CEO of the company, doesn't mean you're the CEO of your fate.

It's ironic to me that people have these terrible misconceptions, and yet when shows like "All American Muslim" are shown on television, no one watches them.  The show was cancelled because of its lack of popularity.  Controversial statements against Muslims are wildly popular on Fox News, though!  Please take some responsibility for your ignorance.

For my Muslim friends, can we please make it a priority to show how proud we are to be Americans? And that Islam and America can "go together" peacefully? Put on some red, white, and blue hijabs or SOMETHING. Wave a darn flag once in a while!

And for my nonMuslim friends who don't want to be ignorant, please read a book.  And don't believe every single thing you hear or see on television, or what the first thing on the top of Google says.

May Allah (swt) clear up all misconceptions about our religion and help us to learn to live together in Peace.