What Was The Hardest Thing for You to Give Up? It Must Have Been Drugs, Yes?

EVERY SINGLE MUSLIM PERSON I HAVE EVER MET ASKS ME THIS QUESTION! A lot of nonMuslims as well. It's... frustrating... We're not supposed to talk about any haram we have done, so why are you asking me?  What do you expect me to say? I really found it difficult to kick the hard drugs!

No, I never did any drugs in my entire life, but I love responding with "cocaine" because I appreciate the reactions.

Last month there was a post that I wrote that allowed me to vent the frustration I have when Muslims think nonMuslims do all sorts of terrible things, and I hope you realize that I didn't do a lot of haram things before I was Muslim.  Yes, I did things I'm not necessarily proud of, I wasn't perfect, but I wasn't some crazy wild rapper's girlfriend or something.

But, because everyone asks this, the hardest thing to give up was...

BACON!

Just kidding ;)

If you really want to know, I'll tell you...

The hardest thing really to give up was friendships.

I'm NOT a girly girl.

I hate girls, to be honest.

Not all girls, of course, I do have a select few girlfriends that I love,  but I find girls very hard to get along with.

I'm too honest. I don't when other people give me "advice." I have more important things to discuss than my purse and the color of my nail polish.

Really, I do.

I don't think I'm better than anyone, and yes, I can talk about purses, but I can't talk about them for 6 hours. Some girls can.

I don't think women are stupid, and I don't think all women are shallow, but finding girlfriends that share interests with me and can handle my personality is very rare.

So, I have always been very careful about the friends I chose.

And, now that I'm Muslim, having very close friendships with people who are doing things that my religion and my heart disagrees with, just doesn't work for me.

So, I've had to change.

I maintain my friendships, yes, but I do so in a different way.

There is a barrier between friendship and sisterhood.

There's rules.  And, my nonMuslim friends respect my rules. Or, they don't talk to me anymore. Either way.

But what is really beautiful is that I have made a lot of girlfriends that I really like.  

For a long time I hung out with two types of girlfriends: my fun friends and my religious friends.

There was a separation.

Some like to hang out, we watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians, we shop, but at the end of the day, I get sick of the shallow conversations.

Some like to talk about religion all the time, we have in-depth discussions, and I LOVE IT! But, at the same time, although being Muslim is the most important thing in my life, it's not the only thing.  There are other subjects to talk about.

Now, the other night was my Saudi girlfriend's birthday.  I've only known her for a few months, but we've become close - we hang out every weekend.  She's even introduced me to her group of friends and we're all friends now.  But, I realized for the first time this is the perfect group of friends for me.  They're crazy.  They're so much fun.  We dance in the middle of the living room in grass skirts for two hours and crack up... LoL.

But, after we dance, we sit down and talk about hadith, my conversion, problems in the ummah...

They are both intelligent and fun.  Which is awesome.

And I'm so thankful to have found girlfriends that are such a perfect balance for me. It just goes to show that when you have a sincere intention to rid yourself of something that is haram, God will replace it with an even greater gift.

Alhamdulilah.

If you're Muslim, though, please consider that nonMuslims are really not that different than us.  They may have different ideas of what is okay, their religions may have guided them in different ways, but they're not all majaneen (crazies). Many of them follow the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad without even knowing it, just because it feels right.

May Allah (swt) keep us all away from haram, may He bless all of our friendships, and may He help us not to judge other people before knowing them.  Ameen.

Your Husband Must Be Muslim, That's Why You're Brainwashed, Right?

Yep! You got it! My imaginary husband who put this invisible ring on my finger is Muslim so I just wear this on my head to make him happy. Umm .... no.  You're stupid, and by the way, it's a 22 carat invisible ring. And my imaginary husband is the guy that got kicked out of Saudi Arabia for being too hot. Duh.

After the Boston Marathon tragedy a lot of people were speaking out about the widow of one of the attackers as she is a convert and making this accusation of her.

It made me really mad.

And I feel terrible for that poor girl bless her little soul.

I think I have it rough with my friends and family? Imagine if I married someone accused of something like Boston.

The amount of judgment I can imagine is intolerable.

May Allah (swt) relieve her of her burdens and may she fight through the ignorance to become a voice for all of us.

What I found the worst was that I read an article (or watched a TV segment - I can't remember) where her old professor said that she was a bright girl with a great future, it's a shame she became a Muslim because of that guy.

What killed me is that I can totally see something like this happening to me and reporters calling up like my freshman year Geology professor who thought that I should be a geologist and was pissed when I told him that I could not imagine my life spent with rocks all day.

Yah, he was offended.  He looked like an angry version of Danny Tanner.  I insulted his passion. He would claim "Muslim" on me.

And, they showed pictures of her with hair... what the hell? That's so messed up.  That's her choice to wear hijab, why do you think it's appropriate to show pictures of her without hijab just because her husband messed up? I'm sure they'd find some ridiculous pictures of me and post them all over the internet. (By the way, before anyone judges me for this sentence, I don't care if you're a 53 year old niqqabi, you have a skankalicious picture SOMEWHERE).

I would flip.

You can't assume that we all became Muslim because we married some guy.

(Who are these persuasive men? I want them on my dawah team!)

I would do a lot for someone I really loved, that's true.  Give up my favorite food perhaps, do a symbolic dance of sorts, dye my hair red.  But change my religion? No chance in hell.

And last week, at my open house, a woman came up to me and said "your husband must be Muslim right? What's your story?" No. Not right. I'm not married. I'm Muslim on my own choosing. No guy in my ear.  No threats.  Just Muslim because I want to be.

Like I've said before, some girls meet some 7/11 owner named Firas, fall in love with him and "convert" to Islam because he says so and they can't marry anyone else otherwise.  And he wants his greencard.

But that's not every person.

Look, I don't LOVE these stories, it wasn't my path, but who am I to judge those girls?

Maybe they really believe it. Maybe Firas is meant to be a Muslim missionary. I don't know.  You don't know.

Most people just follow the religion of their parents, so why is it SOOO wrong to follow the religion of your husband?

It's not my choice. But it's a choice.

I also have spoken to a lot of my friends that converted after falling in love with a guy and what I realized is that it wasn't because their husbands are Muslim that they converted.  It was because it's the first time they ever had a deep conversation about religion with someone that was Muslim and they finally understood it.  You probably aren't going to talk to your girlfriends about the secrets of life, religion, faith, etc... in a deep way. You're gonna talk about shoes.  But, you will talk to a potential spouse that deeply.  So, that's when Islam comes up.  When you're deep in conversation.

But, please, don't assume it's because of some controlling Muslim guy that these women would change their faith.  Islam is the fastest spreading religion - it's not because there's a lot of controlling dudes and weak women.  It's because it's beautiful.

There's a LOT of male converts as well so riddle me that one....

And Muslim people - that were born Muslim - don't be so quick to ridicule converts who convert after falling in love with a Muslim guy.  You're not God.  And, there's no reason to be skeptical.

Again, I suck at history, but I remember this story: In battle a man took his shahada when he was about to be killed by the army of the Prophet Muhammad (saws) and the solider killed him anyway.  Prophet Muhammad (saws) told that soldier that it was wrong of him to kill him as even if he is in a pressured situation, the solider, a mere man, is not the one to say whether or not the man was Muslim.

Similarly, we can't judge.

Finally, know that no, I'm not brainwashed.  I didn't come to Islam with some "kumbaya" (no, I can't spell it!) lovey -dovey attitude towards it.  I came to it critically, harshly, like every other "average American" would.  And after fact checking, understanding, and building my knowledge then - and only then - did I fall in love with it and convert.

May Allah (swt) protect this woman, Katherine Russell, from all of the negativity in this world.  May He open peoples eyes to Islam.  May He help everyone that converts to do so willingly and for His sake only. And may everyone that takes his or her shahada die a Muslim.  Ameen.

Now That You're Muslim, You Have To Hate America, Right?

I will credit my lovely friend Sarah with this gem.  I love her, but this question is absolutely ridiculous. She asked me during the middle of a meeting as if it was dancing around in her head for years, and she thought it would be appropriate to ask at that exact moment. "So, now that you're Muslim, they make you hate America, right?"

I cracked up. I thought she was joking.  But within a second I saw in her face that she was DEAD SERIOUS.

"Umm, no Sarah, I love America.  Being Muslim has nothing to do with America."

Then, she asked "Didn't your Prophet hate America or something?"

"No, Sarah, our Prophet Muhammad (saws) lived hundreds of years before America was founded."

"Oh, I always thought that was a rule."

I considered shaking her and forcing her to read a book.

The media is so manipulative of people's thoughts that they make hundreds of assumptions based on what they see on television. So much so that they think hating America is one of the pillars of our religion.

America was never mentioned in our religion's fundamentals - it's not in Quran, Hadith, etc... - in either a positive or a negative way.

And NO, I DON'T HATE AMERICA! I LOVE AMERICA! 

If I didn't, I wouldn't live here!

I don't love how all people act in America, I don't love that people wear booty shorts in WalMart, I don't love that people think I don't speak English because I look different, I don't love corn dogs and bacon, But I LOVE AMERICA.

I love our freedom, I love my grandfathers for serving in America's Armed Forces, I love that in a 40 hour drive from the East Coast to West Coast I saw every possible climate you could ever imagine, I love that I can love the soldiers while still hating the war, I love that I can write this blog because we have freedom of speech and freedom of religion,

I participate in the Pledge of Allegiance, and I know the National Anthem. And still, I took my shahada, and I know Al-Fatiha.

Being Muslim doesn't make me hate my country. Unfortunately, however, this country makes you hate Islam.

You've heard of Islamophobia, but I've never heard of Americaphobia.

I'm sure the vast majority of my Muslim brothers and sisters don't look at you with hate when you walk by them on the street, however, we often are looked at in this way.

Being a Muslim in America does change my perspective, yes.  It makes me critical of the lack of morals people have, yes.  It also makes me critical of how "God-less" people can be.  How some people think nothing can control them, but they forget God made them, and His plan is THE PLAN.

Just because you're the CEO of the company, doesn't mean you're the CEO of your fate.

It's ironic to me that people have these terrible misconceptions, and yet when shows like "All American Muslim" are shown on television, no one watches them.  The show was cancelled because of its lack of popularity.  Controversial statements against Muslims are wildly popular on Fox News, though!  Please take some responsibility for your ignorance.

For my Muslim friends, can we please make it a priority to show how proud we are to be Americans? And that Islam and America can "go together" peacefully? Put on some red, white, and blue hijabs or SOMETHING. Wave a darn flag once in a while!

And for my nonMuslim friends who don't want to be ignorant, please read a book.  And don't believe every single thing you hear or see on television, or what the first thing on the top of Google says.

May Allah (swt) clear up all misconceptions about our religion and help us to learn to live together in Peace.