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Why Don't You Post Anymore? I Suck.

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Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullah everyone! So sorry I haven't been posting lately - I've been ridiculously - RIDICULOUSLY busy with work.

(Side note: Want to buy a house in Los Angeles? Please call me LoL)

I've been working on ten transactions at one time and studying to get my California license at the same time!

Alhamdulilah for my job and the passion I have for my career.

I've been receiving angry emails that people are mad I stopped writing! LoL... that's an honor that I've upset you by shutting up! Haha...

Anyways, I promise to make an effort to try my best to post more often! I've actually written a few posts but after I reviewed them I thought they needed some editing before they could go out to you.

I will try to edit and post a few inshaAllah.

Tonight, I was reflecting and trying to perfect my recitation of all of the surahs I know from Quran and I remembered a website I used when I was first learning Quran.

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 www.mounthira.com

I recommend everyone - especially converts - go visit it and learn some surahs! It makes it SO MUCH EASIER! you can repeat the verses, there's a transliteration, there's the Arabic next to it.

Really, it's an amazing tool for non-native Arabic speakers.

I am in no way affiliated with the site, I just happen to love it.

May Allah (swt) reward the creators of the site for helping to teach me many surahs and inshaAllah you as well, and may He reward you for learning His Book - ten hassanat for every letter you read.  May He multiply your reward to His pleasing.

With love,

Hannah

Will You Ever "Go Back" to Your Old Life? : Life On The "Dark Side"

"Go back" where? To the dark side? Everyone I know well asks me this question. Yes, I wasn't born Muslim, and yes I did not always memorize Quran, and I didn't always wear hijab and I didn't always pray five times a day.... but... this may shock you... I wasn't the devil.

In my past life I never treated anyone wrong, I had respect, compassion, love for all other people.  I wasn't wild.  I was actually the one that always got made fun of for being "stuck up" because I thought I was too good for beer pong championships (white girl reference).

I wasn't a party-girl, I didn't do drugs, I didn't sleep with dudes because they winked and blew an air-kiss my way.

Did I know people like that? Yes.  Was I friends with these people? Yes. Was I one of them? NO.

I think there is often a misconception about nonMuslims in the eyes of Muslims - especially those without nonMuslim friends.

Not all nonMuslims are alcoholic, coke head, gambling addict strippers.  Yes, going out is "the thing to do" in college, but not everyone chooses to follow the crowd.

Also, Muslim readers, think about all the Muslims you know - some of them are probably your friends - that do things that are against the religion... maybe they party, maybe they gamble, maybe they drink... does it make them not Muslim? No.  It just makes them sinners.

Listen, I definitely wasn't an angel then, but I'm also not an angel now.

I try my best to follow what I think that Allah (swt) wants me to, but no one is perfect. Before Islam, I wasn't a bad person though!

If you're asking whether or not I have plans to leave Islam, the answer is: NOT IN A MILLION BILLION YEARS. I will be Muslim as long as Allah (swt) chooses.

If it's up to me, that means forever.

If I had any plans to leave this religion I would not be Muslim right now. I have no doubts about Islam.

Yes, I know there are girls who meet a guy at the local 7/11 and take their shahada because "Firas was just so hot and he taught me about Islam while he sold me a case of Bud Light Lime" and then the next day they're not Muslim anymore. This exists of course, and although I find it heartbreaking, it's the reality.

I didn't make the decision to become Muslim on a whim.  I studied it, I prayed about it, I have experienced hardships from it, and I when I die, inshaAllah, I will only ask Allah to come back to earth to worship Him all over again - as a Muslim.

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If you can't tell by the way I act, I am Muslim in every ounce of my soul.

What is the most frustrating part about this question though is that I feel I was always Muslim.  Despite the fact that I had never read Quran and I didn't know the pillars of the faith, I still had the same beliefs.

I had the iman (faith) of a Muslim person, but I just didn't have the ibada (worship).

I always believed in one God, never accepted Christianity as the truth - or Judaism - or Hinduism - or Taoism - or any other religion, though I studied many of them on my quest to find Islam.  When people asked me "what religion are you?" I would list out all of the pillars of Islam - which were consistent with my beliefs - and say that's what I believe in, but it took me 20 years before I listed these things and someone responded with "oh, you're Muslim then!"

I always explain it by saying: "if you never ate meat, and thought it was wrong to eat meat, but didn't know that there are thousands of other people called 'vegetarians' out there... weren't you always a vegetarian?"

That's exactly how I feel about Islam.  My heart was always Muslim.  

Now that I have the instruction manual on how to please my God, all the changes I've made are easy! Becoming Muslim was the easiest decision I've ever made - following what Islam requires of me is simple!

I have no plans to ever accept another religion, inshaAllah ya Rab.  I have never been so sure of something in my whole life.

I will never drink alcohol, I will never eat bacon, I will never dance naked in a club - not even for a billion dollars.

May Allah (swt) make all of my fondest memories those that were of my path to Him, and protect me - and all my fellow Muslims - from all the haram in this dunya in order to reward us in akirah.