What Are Some Things That Have Touched Your Heart?

Usually, my job is not so closely related to Islam, although my boss buys me hijabs when she goes on vacation, and our new buyer's agent said "InshaAllah" the other day :) However, this is something I had to share with everyone... My boss and I have recently been working to include video in our company's listings in order to better the experience of the houses we sell - and we sell some AWESOME, adorable homes!

In order to do so, we have been through some not-so-steady steadycam work, and definitely some pretty funny outtakes.

Maybe when we watch television we are so consumed by the actors that we never consider the camera work, but when you are watching it and concentrating on the camera work you see how much it is a part of the story.  You need to be an awesome camera guy to have an awesome show/film/commercial....

So, in our quest, she stumbled upon some guys that wrote and directed a mini series and to show us their camera work, they sent us a film they made called "Anamnesis." And, I watched it.  First, I tried to pay attention to the camera work, as that is what matters to our company, but I was absorbed in the story.   (Not just for the AWESOME names! Hannah :) )

Anyways, I recommend you all watch this all the way through!

I had a TERRIBLE week, but this is a constant reminder that subhanAllah, there is a much bigger picture to consider than what we consume our daily lives struggling with.

Someday we won't be who we think we are, but instead we will be who we have always been...

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Comment and like this one and spread widely - they're awesome guys and it's an awesome video.

May Allah (swt) always keep our focus on the next life and not this temporary fleeting one...<3

 

What Do You Do To Help Islam? I Need Your Help!

Asalaam aleykum everyone!!! I know I haven't posted for a while, I've been incredibly busy.  But right now, I need your help!

I never ask for donations for anything, but this is a cause I believe in and participate in, too! And, I've realized that if I am able to help through my blog in any way, Alhamdulilah it is a good thing for me to start doing.

Please consider making a donation this Ramadan, when our reward is multiplied, to Mercy for Mankind...

I'm a part of this group and we pass out free Qurans, talk to people about Islam, and change the negative perceptions of Muslims in America.

Also, we have a goal to help people to convert as well if they're interested - and follow up with them. Any little bit helps, so please, if you are able to donate, I would really appreciate for you to do so.

Wallah, it's so important to me, and we can really use any help possible!

Dawah night with my brothers :)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever directs (somebody) towards a good deed will receive the like of the reward granted to that person for practicing that deed.” (Sahih Muslim.)

You may  use this link to make your donation online and gain the rewards from Allah, Inshallah. Please use the link to the Paypal account on the top right corner. Jazek Allah kheir: CLICK HERE

You may also submit your donation by calling toll free at (855) 99-MERCY.

Please take a few moments of your time to view the videos to see where exactly your donation is going, or feel free to stop by Third Street in Santa Monica on Friday or Saturdays - I'll be there too!:

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Here's a link to the facebook as well: Mercy 4 Mankind Facebook

Jazak Allah khair!

If you cannot donate, I ask that you keep us in your du'aa or try to join us some time!  There is dawah going on all over the country, and I can help to find you one near you if you're interested!

Feel free to email me directly if you have any questions: convertconfessions@gmail.com.

May Allah (swt) reward all of those who donate, or participate in any way, and help guide everyone to understand the beauty of Islam.

Do You Really Think In Two Years She's Going to Still Be Muslim? Yah Right!

On May 27, 2011 I took my shahada. I remember overhearing someone who was skeptical about my faith say something on that day that really broke my heart.

This person said, "I guarantee you in two years she will completely forget about Islam and go back to her old life. You know how these converts are."

Well, today is May 27, 2013, and look at me.

I am far from a perfect Muslim.  I make so many mistakes.  But, I will never forget Islam.

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Two years ago today, I was blessed that Allah (swt) chose me to say:

لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله

There is no god but God and Muhammad is the messenger of God.

And this was the best day of my life.

Today is better to me than my birthday, because on my birthday I didn't do anything except be born.

On this anniversary, this marks another year of dedication to my religion and my God.

So, I will be happy to send you my P.O. Box to forward gifts to ;)

Sincerely, in the past two years I have tried to be a better person and a better Muslim every day - although on many days I'm a failure that is lucky only by the grace of God. This day really was an immense blessing.  The best one that Allah (swt) has ever bestowed on me.

Today, two years after I took my shahada, I pray that everyone in the world is able to taste these words on their lips before they die. I can only wish you experience one millionth of the appreciation I have for my religion. It really is such an honor to be Muslim.

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To the person who doubted me:

It's the 2 year Muslim mark, what have you done in the past two years?

I can only speak for what Allah (swt) has decreed that I do for His sake, and I am not trying to brag, but I've helped three people to come to Islam. I've helped change the hearts of hundreds of people to see how beautiful our religion is.  I started this blog on Islam.  I have spent hours studying.  I have fasted two Ramadans.  I have recently started to do dawah on a weekly basis. I have taught classes at the masjid.  I have answered countless ridiculous questions about my religion with patience and tact.  I have chosen to wear hijab.  I've memorized several surahs.  And, I have forgiven you for this hurtful comment.

I'm not saying I'm a better Muslim than you because I swear I don't think I'm God's gift to Islam, but I would like you to know:

Every day that passes I only love Allah (swt) more than all the previous days combined.  

From the bottom of my heart, however, thank you so much.  Your comment has continued to push me to want to strive in the way of Allah more and more. You have helped me to question the things I do and want to do better to prove you wrong.  And, you have taught me a wonderful example of how not to treat new Muslims.  I only pray that you will see how far I've come in 20 years. I don't know where I'll live, if I will have a family, who I will spend my life with, but I put my trust in Allah (swt) that He will choose what is best for me as he has in the past two years.

To all my readers:

Please make du'aa for this person that they are able to benefit Islam.  Make du'aa for me as well inshaAllah.

May Allah (swt) reward all of the people who helped me convert with Jannah and may He bless me to continue to assist others in converting as well. May the day I took my shahada be one that pleases God and may it be the best memory in my heart for the rest of my life.

For Allah (swt) found me an orphan and He gave me refuge.

He found me ignorant and He guided me.

He found me poor and He gave me the gift of riches in Islam...Alhamdulilah.

Where Do You Get Muslimy Stuff?!

First, I LOVE the word "Muslimy." Second, People ask me a lot where I shop.  I shop online.

Not because I can't find clothes in other stores, but because I am CHEAPPPP. So cheap.

Grossly cheap.

And, it's like an addiction.  I can save you 30% on probably... anything...

It's like a game for me.  Have you ever seen those coupon people on TLC? They're living my dream life.

But I thought I should give people good ideas about where to shop.  I'm in no way making a profit off of these people, I just like their stuff.

Let me know if you have any questions... I'll add to this list as I think of other places I use.

Here you go:

East Essence

I've bought three abayas from here: this being one of them.  They're GORGEOUS! And very very cheap.

I own the one below and people always compliment me on it ;)

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Boutique Al Khaleejia

Okay I've never actually bought something from here, but looking at the stuff on here is like my crack.

 Anyone want to throw down $350 on this "abaya" for me?

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Muslim Wall Decor

I have these all over my walls... and even a "Bismillah" on my car

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Muslim Art 

Tina Shahmohammadi :) She has amazing art (most of which is featured on my blog here) and she sells it too.  Literally gorgeous.

And she happens to be a beautiful person as well ;)

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Wudu Cling

My friend Kristina thought of this idea to have a wudu cling for kids.  I love it! Although I don't need to use it anymore now that everything is memorized in my nogin, but still totally an amazing idea for new converts and/or children.  Go buy it.

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TJ Maxx

No, they don't let you shop online :( but they have awesome scarves at the stores. Cheap. Check out the store locator to find a store near you!

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Halal Nail Polish

Haven't tried it yet, but I hear it's amazing. And halal.

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Other Ebay Finds:

My phone is Muslimy blinged out.  Plus I buy everything from eBay pretty much.  You can find awesome stuff!

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What Did You Have To Do To Join This Cult Anyways?

"And when they finally ended the secret African chant, I came into a room with three shadowy figures dressed in nothing but sunglasses and covered in feathers.  Then, I gave the pledge.  They put me in a plastic bag and I sat in the closet for 45 minutes listening to Linkin Park's Greatest Hits.  They lit a candle of solitude and I took 4 passes around the table of knowledge - counterclockwise - while drinking 7.2 ounces of lamb's blood".......

NOTTTTT!

Becoming Muslim is not entering a fraternity in college.  It's not a cult.  I didn't have to do a naked run or chug 49320490 beers.  It was simple.

When I decided that I felt like I was just about ready to convert, I actually found some girl on Facebook that I had seen around quite a lot at school.  I felt like every where I went, this one hijabi kept popping up on campus. She was my hijabi soulmate.

So, one day, I randomly stumbled onto her Facebook and sent her a message saying that I was interested in converting and that I would like to talk more with her.

I met with her and she was amazing.  She's still one of my dearest friends now - (love you Foof).  She talked to me about a lot of things, she introduced me to another convert - another dear friend of mine (love you too Michelle LoL) - that she felt would understand me well.  She took me to the masjid for halaqa (our version of Bible study), she took me to a woman's house for lessons in the meaning of Qur'an. She introduced me to her friends. She was so helpful.

And, she introduced me to the sweetest woman, Fadia, who held a weekly halaqa for converts.  I contacted Fadia, who was a local doctor, and spoke with her about how I was interested in converting.  She said she wanted to meet with me. She was like the gatekeeper for converts.  She helped to organize people taking their "shahada" or declaration of faith in Islam.

So, I met her at a Wendy's one afternoon and we talked.  I thought there would be steps to converting.  I thought she would want me to go very slowly. And she did.  We started talking and she asked me what I knew about Islam.

Now, I had been reading Quran and studying and going to halaqa from November to May for 3 or 4 hours a day.  I didn't just wake up one morning and say "I'd like an omelette, and I'd like to be Muslim!" 

So, I started talking about everything I knew. At first, she asked if I knew the pillars of the faith, and I listed them off.  She asked about certain things that Muslims would know, and I knew them.  Then, we went deeper.  I talked about differences in Shia and Sunni, I talked about hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (saws) - AND, I said "sallah Allahu alayhi wa salaam" after I talked about him. She could see that I REALLY know what I'm talking about.

Then we talked about WHY I want to convert.  How I felt like I was always Muslim.  How my mother passed away and what that taught me from a young age about life and religion, and all of the faith I had that I was making the right decision - and a decision that would be permanent.  We both cried.  Like babies.  In Wendy's.  Eating Frosties.  

At the start of the conversation, she was putting me on a plan to convert maybe in a month or two.

By the end of the conversation, she wanted me to convert that week.

She knew I knew what I was talking about.  I don't make brash decisions.

When I knew, I knew.

That's it.

So, I met her on that next Friday, May 27th, 2011, outside the masjid.  In a white hijab and white tunic. And we talked.  I got her a little gift, and all of my Muslim friends came. She asked if I was sure.  And I was.

People I knew from before I was Muslim even that wouldn't typically come to the masjid for Friday prayer, they came to see me. 

IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE, (and I sat front row of a Spice Girls concert when I was 7, so that's really saying something!).

And I sat there next to all the girls I knew from the mosque, nervous that I would have to speak in front of all of these people.

I've further described the day I took my shahada in another post, and the details of the day. Even the khutba (Muslim version of "sermon") applied to my life.

So, the Imam announced my intent to convert.  And, I went to the side of the masullah ("prayer hall") and took my shahada in front of the crowded masjid.

I didn't have to do some crazy ritual.  I didn't have to be baptized.  I didn't have to go through a 6 week training course, like when you convert to Judaism.  I just said, in Arabic and English, "There is no god but God and Muhammad is His Messenger." And that's it. That's all you have to do.

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Yep, that's all.

The women were crying, people brought me gifts, and they really treated me amazing.  I was very thankful - and I still am thankful.  I'll never forget that treatment.  Whenever I hear of someone else taking their shahada I go out of my way to congratulate them.

In Islam, when you take your shahada, you are wiped clean of all your sins.  All of the things I did before that day vanished.  And, I started with a blank slate.  Alhamdulilah, what a blessing. 

I got a Get Out of Jail Free card! Jealous, much?

After taking your shahada, you go home, take a shower, and you're done. (By the way, this shower feels amazing.  Imagine a shower after you roll around in the mud and you're getting all the dirt off, this one actually felt like all my sins were washing off.  I know that's so damn cheesy, but I swear to you).

That's all the steps.  Shampoo, rinse, repeat.

 

Literally, all you have to do to becoming Muslim is this:

- Have a true intention in your heart

- Say (in ANY gathering of more than 2 people - doesn't even have to be the mosque): "There is no god but God, and Muhammad is His Messenger" 

- Shower

TA DAAAAA.

I've made casseroles that took longer.

One request I have of you - whoever you are: Please pray (make du'aa) for the three women who helped me most in taking my shahada: Afaf, Michelle, and Fadia.  May Allah protect them and reward them all with Jannah for being such a wonderful help, guidance, and role models for me (and in Fadia's case, a LARGE quantity of other women).

May Allah (swt) guide us all to His truth, May He reward all of the people who helped me in my conversion or were part of the process in ANY capacity, and may He make conversion easy on all of us as it is intended to be. Ameen.

What Was The Hardest Thing for You to Give Up? It Must Have Been Drugs, Yes?

EVERY SINGLE MUSLIM PERSON I HAVE EVER MET ASKS ME THIS QUESTION! A lot of nonMuslims as well. It's... frustrating... We're not supposed to talk about any haram we have done, so why are you asking me?  What do you expect me to say? I really found it difficult to kick the hard drugs!

No, I never did any drugs in my entire life, but I love responding with "cocaine" because I appreciate the reactions.

Last month there was a post that I wrote that allowed me to vent the frustration I have when Muslims think nonMuslims do all sorts of terrible things, and I hope you realize that I didn't do a lot of haram things before I was Muslim.  Yes, I did things I'm not necessarily proud of, I wasn't perfect, but I wasn't some crazy wild rapper's girlfriend or something.

But, because everyone asks this, the hardest thing to give up was...

BACON!

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Just kidding ;)

If you really want to know, I'll tell you...

The hardest thing really to give up was friendships.

I'm NOT a girly girl.

I hate girls, to be honest.

Not all girls, of course, I do have a select few girlfriends that I love,  but I find girls very hard to get along with.

I'm too honest. I don't when other people give me "advice." I have more important things to discuss than my purse and the color of my nail polish.

Really, I do.

I don't think I'm better than anyone, and yes, I can talk about purses, but I can't talk about them for 6 hours. Some girls can.

I don't think women are stupid, and I don't think all women are shallow, but finding girlfriends that share interests with me and can handle my personality is very rare.

So, I have always been very careful about the friends I chose.

And, now that I'm Muslim, having very close friendships with people who are doing things that my religion and my heart disagrees with, just doesn't work for me.

So, I've had to change.

I maintain my friendships, yes, but I do so in a different way.

There is a barrier between friendship and sisterhood.

There's rules.  And, my nonMuslim friends respect my rules. Or, they don't talk to me anymore. Either way.

But what is really beautiful is that I have made a lot of girlfriends that I really like.  

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For a long time I hung out with two types of girlfriends: my fun friends and my religious friends.

There was a separation.

Some like to hang out, we watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians, we shop, but at the end of the day, I get sick of the shallow conversations.

Some like to talk about religion all the time, we have in-depth discussions, and I LOVE IT! But, at the same time, although being Muslim is the most important thing in my life, it's not the only thing.  There are other subjects to talk about.

Now, the other night was my Saudi girlfriend's birthday.  I've only known her for a few months, but we've become close - we hang out every weekend.  She's even introduced me to her group of friends and we're all friends now.  But, I realized for the first time this is the perfect group of friends for me.  They're crazy.  They're so much fun.  We dance in the middle of the living room in grass skirts for two hours and crack up... LoL.

But, after we dance, we sit down and talk about hadith, my conversion, problems in the ummah...

They are both intelligent and fun.  Which is awesome.

And I'm so thankful to have found girlfriends that are such a perfect balance for me. It just goes to show that when you have a sincere intention to rid yourself of something that is haram, God will replace it with an even greater gift.

Alhamdulilah.

If you're Muslim, though, please consider that nonMuslims are really not that different than us.  They may have different ideas of what is okay, their religions may have guided them in different ways, but they're not all majaneen (crazies). Many of them follow the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad without even knowing it, just because it feels right.

May Allah (swt) keep us all away from haram, may He bless all of our friendships, and may He help us not to judge other people before knowing them.  Ameen.

Your Husband Must Be Muslim, That's Why You're Brainwashed, Right?

Yep! You got it! My imaginary husband who put this invisible ring on my finger is Muslim so I just wear this on my head to make him happy. Umm .... no.  You're stupid, and by the way, it's a 22 carat invisible ring. And my imaginary husband is the guy that got kicked out of Saudi Arabia for being too hot. Duh.

After the Boston Marathon tragedy a lot of people were speaking out about the widow of one of the attackers as she is a convert and making this accusation of her.

It made me really mad.

And I feel terrible for that poor girl bless her little soul.

I think I have it rough with my friends and family? Imagine if I married someone accused of something like Boston.

The amount of judgment I can imagine is intolerable.

May Allah (swt) relieve her of her burdens and may she fight through the ignorance to become a voice for all of us.

What I found the worst was that I read an article (or watched a TV segment - I can't remember) where her old professor said that she was a bright girl with a great future, it's a shame she became a Muslim because of that guy.

What killed me is that I can totally see something like this happening to me and reporters calling up like my freshman year Geology professor who thought that I should be a geologist and was pissed when I told him that I could not imagine my life spent with rocks all day.

Yah, he was offended.  He looked like an angry version of Danny Tanner.  I insulted his passion. He would claim "Muslim" on me.

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And, they showed pictures of her with hair... what the hell? That's so messed up.  That's her choice to wear hijab, why do you think it's appropriate to show pictures of her without hijab just because her husband messed up? I'm sure they'd find some ridiculous pictures of me and post them all over the internet. (By the way, before anyone judges me for this sentence, I don't care if you're a 53 year old niqqabi, you have a skankalicious picture SOMEWHERE).

I would flip.

You can't assume that we all became Muslim because we married some guy.

(Who are these persuasive men? I want them on my dawah team!)

I would do a lot for someone I really loved, that's true.  Give up my favorite food perhaps, do a symbolic dance of sorts, dye my hair red.  But change my religion? No chance in hell.

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And last week, at my open house, a woman came up to me and said "your husband must be Muslim right? What's your story?" No. Not right. I'm not married. I'm Muslim on my own choosing. No guy in my ear.  No threats.  Just Muslim because I want to be.

Like I've said before, some girls meet some 7/11 owner named Firas, fall in love with him and "convert" to Islam because he says so and they can't marry anyone else otherwise.  And he wants his greencard.

But that's not every person.

Look, I don't LOVE these stories, it wasn't my path, but who am I to judge those girls?

Maybe they really believe it. Maybe Firas is meant to be a Muslim missionary. I don't know.  You don't know.

Most people just follow the religion of their parents, so why is it SOOO wrong to follow the religion of your husband?

It's not my choice. But it's a choice.

I also have spoken to a lot of my friends that converted after falling in love with a guy and what I realized is that it wasn't because their husbands are Muslim that they converted.  It was because it's the first time they ever had a deep conversation about religion with someone that was Muslim and they finally understood it.  You probably aren't going to talk to your girlfriends about the secrets of life, religion, faith, etc... in a deep way. You're gonna talk about shoes.  But, you will talk to a potential spouse that deeply.  So, that's when Islam comes up.  When you're deep in conversation.

But, please, don't assume it's because of some controlling Muslim guy that these women would change their faith.  Islam is the fastest spreading religion - it's not because there's a lot of controlling dudes and weak women.  It's because it's beautiful.

There's a LOT of male converts as well so riddle me that one....

And Muslim people - that were born Muslim - don't be so quick to ridicule converts who convert after falling in love with a Muslim guy.  You're not God.  And, there's no reason to be skeptical.

Again, I suck at history, but I remember this story: In battle a man took his shahada when he was about to be killed by the army of the Prophet Muhammad (saws) and the solider killed him anyway.  Prophet Muhammad (saws) told that soldier that it was wrong of him to kill him as even if he is in a pressured situation, the solider, a mere man, is not the one to say whether or not the man was Muslim.

Similarly, we can't judge.

Finally, know that no, I'm not brainwashed.  I didn't come to Islam with some "kumbaya" (no, I can't spell it!) lovey -dovey attitude towards it.  I came to it critically, harshly, like every other "average American" would.  And after fact checking, understanding, and building my knowledge then - and only then - did I fall in love with it and convert.

May Allah (swt) protect this woman, Katherine Russell, from all of the negativity in this world.  May He open peoples eyes to Islam.  May He help everyone that converts to do so willingly and for His sake only. And may everyone that takes his or her shahada die a Muslim.  Ameen.

Where Are You From? I'm From Here. No, I Mean ORIGINALLY? Cleveland.

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One of the reasons I decided to move to beautiful Los Angeles, California was because some bootleg Malaysian newspaper writer who straight up stole my convert story and published it in his country said I was from Los Angeles.   Just kidding - (although I thought it was pretty funny that they just made facts up out of thin air and I was quite offended that he used a picture of some really unattractive white chick to represent me in the article! Rude.)

I moved here because of diversity.

I came to visit a friend, walked the streets of Hollywood and people said "salaam" to me when they saw my hijab.  White people!

Imagine that.

So, when I experienced people speaking 20 different languages when I walked a one mile stretch of sidewalk, I realized how beautiful that was and that I wanted to be a part of it.  Permanently.

A month later I moved here.

I'm a sucker for diversity, what can I say?

And, guess what... people are cool to me here ALL THE TIME!

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It's beautiful!

I go out to lunch with my Asian boss and white people on the sidewalk go out of their way to say "salaam" - the greeting that Muslims give each other meaning peace.  How cute is that? 

PLUS, they do it in the sweetest voice and they touched their little hearts when they said it.  Merrrrr ... adorable!!

This is a beautiful example I wish everyone had the opportunity to experience, because I wasn't experiencing that in Toledo, Ohio.

The one thing I have noticed about Los Angeles, however, is everyone is curious about me.

I'm not saying that because I think I'm God's gift to earth and I'm like Los Angeles' own unicorn or something... I mean because I look different.

I hold open houses every weekend to advertise the houses we have for sale and 1 out of every 3 people ask me where I'm from.

No matter what their ethnicity is.

And, they don't do it in a mean way.  They do it out of love.

Usually though I think it's so annoying!

Standard Couple #1: WHERE ARE YOU FROMMMMM?

Me: I'm from here.

Standard Couple #2:NOOOO I MEAN WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS FROM?

Me: Here.

Standard Couple #3: NO I MEAN ORIGINALLY

Me:Cleveland.

What does it matter? Are you writing a book?

My Goodness!

If I say my dad is from Iraq will that make you feel any different?

I thought about making up a story that my dad is Saudi and my mom is Syrian just so people don't ask the follow up questions...

Eventually the conversation goes:

OOOOOKAYYYY WHAT'S YOUR NATIONALITY?

I'm Czech.

OH AND YOU'RE MUSLIM?

Yes.

AH I SEE. DID YOU CONVERT?

Yes, I did.

OHHHH WHAT DOES YOUR FAMILY THINK? HOW MANY TIMES A DAY DO YOU PRAY? DO YOU SPEAK ARABIC? WHAT IS YOUR DAD'S COUSIN PHIL'S MIDDLE NAME?

None of your business! UGH! This is a Spanish style house, that's all you need to know.

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Today I was reflecting on this, preparing for a meeting where I was sure I would be asked my nationality, and I realized it's not as annoying as I feel like it is.

It's actually a blessing.

Instead of being negative I should be appreciative that people are nice enough to ask and strike up a conversation as if they actually care about a stranger.

It might not be consistent with modern social cues, but it's very nice that they ask and are curious.

I'd much rather people be curious than afraid.

This post is a reminder for me to work on myself - to be more open to answering people's questions - regardless of where I am, how rushed I am, or what I'm doing.

These people are giving me the opportunity to educate them without hatred. How awesome.

May Allah (swt) teach us all to be guided guiders and teach others about our religion for all of its beauty.  May we be as curious of others as they are of us, and in a positive way.  Ameen.