If Your Name is Mohammad, Don't Act Like a Pig...

My dear Muslim Brothers, While I'm pretty closed off to the world on most social media, I have over 10,000 people on my LinkedIn. I'm, of course, much less personal there than I would be with close friends on Instagram or Facebook.  I hate to say it, but I have to:

Social media is not a dating site. especially LinkedIn - it's a professional networking website to discuss business ideas. While I'm definitely annoyed by the stupid messages I receive (mind you, my picture is me in niqqab and still I have "sexy eyes"), I'm even more disgusted by what Muslim men are willing to say to nonMuslim women there.

Today, a western girl announced she had decided to start a new business venture in a brief post which included a picture of her with an inspirational scene in the background. She is a beautiful girl, mashaAllah.

While the comments from her western male counterparts were congratulatory for the business, the comments from my brothers in Islam all said "beautiful smile," "she's pretty cute," and "she's a beautiful girl." Even three Muslim guys commented on the photo as if she could not read the comments - talking to each other about how "cute" she is.

QUESTION: HOW IS THIS RELATED TO A BUSINESS ENDEAVOR? It's NOT. 

Only Allah can judge you and its between you and Him when you make rude comments like this which directly contradict with our religion's teachings to treat women by their character and work and not by their outwardly appearance.

Personally, I am asking you to consider how Western women would then view Muslim men. If i didn't know better, I would feel that they were all pigs.

When your name is Mohammad, or any other name with a Muslim connotation, you represent our religion.  When I wear a hijab, I represent our religion.  Because we both represent our religion, which is perfect, we should avoid making such indecent remarks.  While I might whisper to close friends "check out the guy at 2 o'clock," I would not go up to him and say "wow, you're hot!" And, I'm sure you would expect the same or more from your sisters or mothers or daughters.

You absolutely must learn to have the same respect for others as you expect us to have as Muslim women.  You must also learn to have the same respect for nonMuslims as Muslims.  Just because a woman doesn't cover her hair or her body, does not make her an object.  She's still a woman, just with less cloth.

They're all your sisters.

They're all your mothers.  

They're all your daughters.  

May Allah (swt) teach all of us - including myself, of course - better manners and make us better representations for our religion.

Sincerely,

Your Sister

Hannah

Does Islam Allow Men to Marry Multiple Wives?

Yes. Muslim men can marry four wives. I know, it feels weird.  You maybe have this ideal of American love stories where one man and one woman are together forever and there's no one else.  I was raised with the same idea and in my future family, I hope that happens to be the case.  But it's not always the case.  If you keep reading, you'll get a little bit of insight into it, I promise.

Islam is a religion filled with feminism - equality for women is exceptionally important in our religion! The Prophet Muhammad commanded that baby girls may no longer be killed as they were previously buried alive within their society as the "norm." (That's just a quick of the top of my head example).

So, if our religion is so filled with this idea of equality, how come men can marry four wives and women can't marry multiple husbands? HOW COME A GUY CAN MARRY FOUR WOMEN?!? How does his first wife feel?!

First, let's look at this historically.

At the time that the revelation came that men could marry four wives at one time, men were dying in battle. In huge quantities. 

When a society loses a significant proportion of its men, and the women are not the providers as it is not fitting of the time in 600 A.D.+, who the heck is going to take care of those women? And children? How will they eat?

Mama bear can't just go out and get a job like in today's world. There were very few #bossladies. (Although Prophet Muhammad's wife Khadija was a successful businesswoman when he married her!)

Thus, men married multiple women as a means of taking care of the society as a whole. 

Also, at the time, men were marrying twenty-seven or forty-six women at one time and there was nothing wrong with it.  It was culturally normal.  The decree that men could only marry four was actually a huge change at the time. JUST FOUR?

For example (the best of examples)... Prophet Muhammad (may God's peace be upon him) was married to his first wife (Khadija) for 25 years before she passed away. He was not married to another woman during her life.  Their love story is very beautiful if you ever have time to read it.

When she died, he married multiple other wives (the number varies based on who you ask).  A majority of them were widows or of different tribes.  Their marriages were as a means to provide for those women or as a social means of connecting tribes together.

Still feel yucky? It's okay....

This practice does happen in Muslim countries.  Someday when I decide to get married, I could be a second wife - or a first and he finds someone else to marry.

But, I'm not too worried about that, nor am I too upset.

Why? Because there's multiple conditions upon which he has to fulfill in order to participate in this practice.

He has to treat all of them EXACTLY equally.  That's not easy. I recently adopted two kittens that are sisters. I bought them at the same time, and I still have a favorite (shhh... don't tell them).

He has to provide them each their own living quarters. If he gives one of them something, he has to give it to the other. You gotta be rich to have that kinda swag, people!

And yes, there are people (albeit very few) that I know that are children of second wives or third wives or fourth wives.  Their father is still the strong, loving father to them as he is to his other wives and other children.  Their mothers still feel taken care of and loved by the father from what they tell me.

Look... I can't lie. It's not for everyone.  With my upbringing, I don't think I could sleep a wink knowing my husband is with another woman and that I have to share his heart with her. 

But, because this is a decree from God, I accept it. I respect it.  

If my husband wants to marry another wife, there will be some STRONG words from me against that choice, but it is his right.

And, if he has a valid reason for it (i.e. by the time I'm married I'm 47 years old and I can't have babies...) then I could absolutely understand that situation.

When I look at these two aspects - the practicality and the context historically - I see why it's SO rare among Muslims and SO RARE among my group of friends and their families.

Once I talked to a friend who was divorced and I asked him why didn't you take another wife instead of getting divorced? He said, "HALF of a wife would be too much for me, why would I ever want TWO?"

And, that's the common feeling of Muslim men.

A vast majority want the same lovey dovey fairytale the girls want. Especially the ones from our generation.

May Allah make each woman and each man who come together in marriage fulfilling to the other - emotionally, domestically, physically, and in all other applications. May they care for each other in all contexts. And, may He help us to see His Reasons behind His Wisdom.

"And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you." (Quran 2:216).

Alhamdulilah for Friends... And Acquaintances

I'm so grateful for my friends. I tell you all privately in awkward situations in my own non-emotional and non-touchy-feely ways that are often devoid of warm fuzzies. For example, when you drastically cut your hair and I need to change the topic to avoid my selfish feelings of "no! don't change! i love the version of you I know!!!" All of you weirdos, I love you all.

While you guys are kinda stuck with me and my craziness and my opinions, my acquaintances aren't. I love you both.

When I converted, a whole bunch of acquaintances (and some friends, too) completely ditched me.  

I wasn't so cool anymore (heck, I was never that cool), and that meant that when I covered my hair and prayed in the middle of Chipotle, they disappeared from my life.

Literally, one day I had like a list of ten potential bridesmaids in mind should I ever get married and was concerned about how I could possibly choose; the next day, I was like, 'who the heck would I even invite to a wedding?!'

It was partially my fault too, I know, because I was busy learning, reading, buying scarves, working, going to college, and all the other fun things I decided to do at once... Yes, I disappeared a bit myself. But I didn't stop caring.

A lot of those people weren't that important, in hindsight, but when I think about those friends and acquaintances who stuck around, I'm blown away with gratitude and I'm inspired by you. I'm incredibly thankful that you respect me, have compassion for me, and care about me even a little bit.

Today, a girl I met maybe a handful of times in college shared a really beautiful message about my blog.  I barely knew her.  She was the previous roommate of my roommate.  We had a similar group of friends, but we didn't have like emotional eat-Ben-&-Jerry's nights where we cried about boys or something dramatic that people do in movies to celebrate friendship.  We just kinda knew each other.

This white chick took Arabic classes, respects Islam, respects African Americans... Heck, she even is saving the whales, people! On top of that, she has a good enough soul to celebrate good in the world. She's not Muslim, not black, not a refugee, but she knows we're all in this thing together.

I don't know her all that well, I just "Facebook know her," but what I do know, I really like.  Nope, take that back - I love.

She celebrates all kinds of people. She speaks out when she sees something that's wrong or unfair.

When I grow up I want to be just like her.

She's like maybe two years older than me.

For example, here's some of her last posts from this past week:

I'm so proud that in all of life's craziness that God inspires people not to get sucked into the hate and the crazy. To stand up for what is right, even if no one is standing with you.  

If God graces me with the honor of being in Heaven, I really want neighbors like this chick.  I bet she's totally down to let me borrow a cup of sugar .... and possibly a kidney.

Thank God for people like you.

While writing this, I realized I'm so thankful to call you more than my acquaintance, but my role model and more importantly, my sister in this world and hopefully in the next. 

Is the Life of an American More Important than the Life of a Kenyan? A Filipino? A Syrian?

No. That's the answer.  No. It doesn't need any more explanation.

But, I'll explain.

The media has a huge problem. When something happens to people in first world countries, like America, France, Canada, for example, the world stops.

There are candlelit vigils.

There are moments of silence.

There are tears of strangers.

When a bunch of Palestinian kids are being murdered in their houses no one cars.

That's just another day in the Middle East!

Maybe it is to you, but it's not that way to me.

When something happens to Americans, it breaks my heart.  When something happens to Kenyans, it breaks my heart.

Neither one more or less.

Even, I'm American, and it's not any more or less.

Why? Because we are all brothers under the same God.

And, these stupid land masses that we live on and have a passport from are not at all related to our brotherhood in God's creation. Our country's borders are ALL manmade. Hell, they're all scribbles, people!

I don't think that when we get to Heaven, God is going to line us up by what passport we hold. If He does, I will have some questions.

I don't think that the gates to Heaven for Chinese will be different than the gates for Americans.

In fact, I know that's not how it's going to happen because my religion says we get to enter in the gate that best describes the good deeds we have done on earth.

One is for those who gave in charity, one is for those who have sincere faith in God, one for those who control their anger and forgive others, one for those who constantly remembered God, etc...  You don't level up because of your passport.  You level up because you were faithful during your life.

I love America.  I love Saudi Arabia. I love Pakistan. I love China. I love Nigeria. I love Chile. I love Antarctica. But, I don't love the countries themselves.  I love the people.  I don't love the bad things they do, but in the perfect state that God made them, I love them.

So when something bad happens anywhere, I hurt. When something bad happens close to me, I don't hurt more.  It's not location-based.  

The people who lost their lives in the recent attacks on France, my heart breaks for them.  The people who lost their lives in the recent attacks on Lebanon, my heart breaks for them.  The people who lost their lives in the hurricane in Mexico, my heart breaks for them.  It breaks for Syria. For Kenya. For Palestine. For past and present tragedies. For all of those who suffer. For all of those who have suffered. For all of those who have yet to suffer. Because, someday, when we all get to Heaven, those people are going to be the ones we envy.

Their suffering in this fleeting world is going to lead them to Bliss in Eternity.

They won't be given higher positions, or more pay, or nicer houses, or safer schools, or more Twitter followers based on what country God happened to put them in.  In that Place, there is love without separation, there is no suffering, and you can bet that the color of our passports or which flag is waving outside our doors or what language we speak will have no meaning. Where we checked in on Foursquare won't be relevant.

The media won't care less about one person than another. We will be judged for our character, not our color. We will all be exquisite - from the homeless starving woman to the richest person on earth.

God, please grant me a place there! In the meantime, help us all to realize none of our lives are more important than anyone else's.  And, the loss of any one of these beautiful souls You put here is not any more important than losing another of them.

Is "Hannah" / "Hana" a Muslim Name?

A serious portion of the people that are referred to my site are because of this question - I'm assuming for baby naming purposes. I thought I would answer it... although, I do hope you do still browse around.

And, thank you, because answering this required me to do research and I learned more about my name myself. I am extremely grateful to be given the name of such an honored woman with offspring that were so devoted to God, mashaAllah.

So here we go:

Although she is not mentioned by name in Quran, she is referred to, as Hana (i'll spell it this way for consistency) is Imran's wife.

Hana in Quran is more or less the same as Hannah in the Bible.

Being Imran's wife also makes her the mother of Miryam (Mary), and the maternal grandmother of 'Isa (or Jesus).

And, my fellow Hana gets a cameo appearance in just the THIRD surah of Quran:

“When a woman of ‘Imran said, My Lord! Surely I vow to Thee what is in my womb, to be devoted (to thy service); accept therefore from me, surely Thou art the Hearing, the knowing.” (3:35)

Did you miss it? That's Hana, the "woman of Imran."

“So her Lord accepted her with a good acceptance and made her grow up a good growing.” (3:36)

And Hana's prayers were answered as Maryam is one of the four women that is granted the highest levels in Jannah.

So, if you're here because you're looking for a baby name, I would be honored to share my name with your precious child.  I pray that she is a blessing for all of the world, and that her offspring too go on to change the world, as happened to Hana in Quran.

I love my name.  It's universally wonderful. In English, Arabic, Czech, Japanese, Hawaiian, it has beautiful meanings in every language. It is related to Islam, Christianity and Judaism.  It means "bliss."

Congratulations for this blessing Allah is giving to you. May she be devoted to Him, independent of her name.

What Does Islam Teach In Times of War?

In case you wondered, THIS is what my religion teaches about war. Wish I could give credit to who made this - Sorry there was nothing on the post I got it from!

In case the photo ever gets removed, the rules include:

1. Don't cut a tree.
2. Don't kill a child.
3. Don't kill old people.
4. Don't destroy a temple or a church.
5. Don't destroy a building
6. Don't kill those who surrendered.
7. Don't kill those who ran away.
8. Don't kill a woman.
9. Don't kill a sick person.
10. Don't kill a monk or priest (religious person).
11. Don't disfigure the dead.
12. Don't kill an animal except for eating.
13. Be good to the prisoners and feed them.
14. Don't enforce Islam.

And you ask me how I can accept this religion? This is how.

My Love-Hate Relationship with This World

SubhanAllah, I do not think there is anything more that I both love and hate than this world. God truly gave us the most beautiful place to call home.  Cheesy I know - but, I'm often literally speechless at how beautiful some places on earth are.  I remember the first time I went to Los Angeles and I was driving on the highway and saw the mountains and just started crying my eyes out.  SubhanAllah, this earth is truly magnificent. Allah is the best Artist, Creator, Painter... well, He's the best Everything, to be honest. Each leaf is perfect.  Each grain of sand is perfect.

There's nothing more that I love to do than travel.  Every penny of extra money I have I spend on travelling. It's my favorite thing to do! I want to see all of this world! It's so amazing!!!!

And, the saddest thing to me, is that we are the worst part of the world.

Not all of us, of course.

Some of us are wonderful additions to this place. Some work to do good constantly. Some give of their hearts, their time, their everything, to make this place better.  I hope someday I achieve this level of goodness.

But, some of us just suck.

Why would you possibly ruin His Creation? Why would you hurt people? How can you watch people suffer and not be heartbroken inside?

I had a 4 minute panic attack the other day because there was a kitten near a wheel of a car and I had to make sure that the people driving the car saw it before they backed up and before I left.

An hour after my panic attack, people killed hundreds of people (not just 140 - look it up, people, there's attacks all over the world!) for no reason.  For Syria? For Palestine? For other human lives? My heart breaks for Syria and Palestine, but killing other people makes my heart break more, not less.

I feel that I am so blessed in my life.  Not just because I have all the material things I need to survive. But, because God gave me a tiny place on this earth. I watch this one Ted Talk all the time that I will post about in the future, but the main point of it is that subhanAllah, the likelihood of our existence as a person is like 1 in 400 trillion.  Why the hell would you want to ruin that? And, selfishly, why would you ruin this beautiful place that Allah gave ME?

I know wanting peace on earth is naive and stupid, but I want peace on earth.

Not peace in first world countries.  Peace everywhere. I know it's impossible, because Allah made perfection only in Heaven, so maybe that's why our world is so bad.  Because we have another place to go to that is exponentially better.

But, still, while I'm here, I wish we could all make it as good as it can possibly be. I wish we all added to the perfection of the earth and didn't take away from it.

May Allah make all of us - Muslim, Christian, Jew, Atheist, Hindu, Buddhist, Sikh, Taoist, whatever the heck you are - additions to the perfection of His Creation.  May we be constantly reminded of this gift He gave us in being alive and may all of our lives be in striving to make this a better place.

I say it every single day: We are all brothers under the same God. Why can't they hear me?

WHY DO MUSLIMS KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE? 🇫🇷

After something like this, I just get so confused. ARE WE READING THE SAME BOOK, PEOPLE? My religion is about compassion and mercy for people. It says women and children cannot be killed. Killing innocent people is as if you kill all of mankind and saving one life is like saving all of mankind. When people incline to you with peace, you are supposed to incline to peace. There's a million more similar examples and decrees in Quran that tell us similar ways to behave. What are you thinking?!

I don't understand how we can have all of the same materials, all of the same words that God decreed to us, that we should live in peace with all of our neighbors of all faiths, and that we are all brothers in humanity, and yet you're doing this craziness?!? I work so hard to show people what my religion really is, and then you just mess it up on a mass scale seemingly daily. Not just in Paris, but in Beirut, Palestine, Syria, and all over the world.

Please, stop giving people a false picture of my beautiful religion. Islam is perfect, Muslims definitely aren't. I'm begging the world to hate these people, these monsters, who kill saying Allah's name, but in a way that Allah would HATE. Don't hate my religion. I swear to you, this is not what our religion says. In fact, this is not my religion. We are all supposed to act as a mercy for mankind.

May God protect all people on earth and grant these people who died senselessly the highest levels in Heaven for this attack on humanity. And, may God change these "extremists" who are not practicing an extreme form of Islam, but are practicing an extreme form of crazy.

“And whoever kills a believer (in God) intentionally, his punishment is Hell; he shall abide in it, and Allah will send His wrath on him and curse him and prepare for him a painful chastisement.” (Surah an-Nisā’ 4:93)