Congratulations to Ibtihaj Muhammad #TeamUSA

First and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS are in order for Ms. Ibtihaj Muhammad, the first ever American olympian to compete wearing hijab.  I do not know her... but I'm as proud of her as if she was my own sister...

Because... well, she IS my sister.  My sister in Islam.

She is also my sister in passport ;)

Ibtihaj Muhammad helps to define America and to teach those who are so adamantly sure that Muslim women should "adapt" or to "assimilate" to "American culture" that... well, this IS American culture. Diversity, love, and acceptance are American.

American culture has nothing to do with how much skin is showing and much more to do with the content of our character... in both my opinion and that of Dr. Martin Luther King (can I get an amen?!).

I'm impressed with Muhammad's character.  May God continue to make her a shining example for girls throughout the world - whether they are Muslim or not!

Now, as happy as I am for America, hijabis, and Ibtihaj herself.  I'm devastated for how negative the media has been.

I googled her name to find a photo of her to include in this post.  The TOP results are below:

I did not sort the results in any way.  This is what's at the top.

Never mind that she's a beast.  Never mind that she is REPRESENTING America...

The top result shows a HIGHLY misconstrued quote from her father mentioning that she shouldn't argue with men because her safety is at risk... (a different meaning than the headline reads, dontcha think?).

And, the second falsely claims she is "criticizing her country."  No, hunny, she is shedding light on important topics.  People keep saying she is abusing her privilege.  Well, guess what? They don't want me, your everyday American Muslim girl, to sit on television and bring these points up.  She is utilizing her platform for goodness - for people who fit in all "other" categories.

Don't even get me started about the comments on these two articles... they literally make me cry.  

Ibtihaj's father said it best: "I said the media is tricky, and they try to cause a controversial thing because that’s what sells papers" (Hines).

Please, America: Be proud of someone who represents you.  Be proud if she wears hijab or a thong.  Love her.  Accept her for who she is... just as you would want your children to be accepted.

I saw someone say they didn't care that she wears hijab and it's irrelevant and she's not special.  Have you ever worked out in hijab? No? Then you can't comment.

Not only that, but people are only mad because she is redefining the narrative of a Muslim person as a more accurate depiction and not the oppressed homemaker that the television loves to show.

Oh, and if you hate her... I hope she smiles in your face with hijab on, waving a big old American flag.

#TeamUSA #TeamAcceptance #TeamDiversity #TeamLOVE

Mabrook, ya 7elwa. Allah y3teke ALF 3fyah <3

Happy Hijabiversary to Me!

I expect gifts.  EXPENSIVE gifts. Just kidding ;)

Five years ago today I started wearing hijab full time, Alhamdulilah!

I know it may seem like a silly bit of excitement, and I "celebrate" it annually (you know, poppin' bottles of grape juice), but it was truly one of the most impactful decisions I've ever made.

When I was in high school and in college, appearance was everything to me.  I cared how I looked at all times. I would be mortified when I would sleep at a friends house and they would see me without makeup or without my hair perfectly curled, for example.

And then, when I learned about hijab the first time, I said, and I quote, "I could NEVER wear that!"

I was wrong.

Then, after studying the concept more and trying it out myself, I understood the importance and the meaning of hijab in Islam.  It soon felt so much more comfortable to go somewhere with it on than it did to go somewhere without it.

I remember "practicing" wearing hijab on a car trip once just to see how other people would react.  Would they stare? Would they avoid me?  I was interested to find that, largely, NO ONE CARED. 

It didn't even matter if someone cared though, because I knew I wanted to wear it.... and so, on August 1st, the first day of my first Ramadan five years ago, I started wearing hijab.

Yes, the first day at work was a bit awkward.

Yes, the first day of college my senior year was awkward.

Yes, seeing my grandparents the first time was awkward.

And then, the second time wasn't so awkward anymore.

I'm so so so happy to wear hijab and represent Islam on a daily basis, even if it's scary in today's world.  From the absolute bottom of my little heart, it makes me a better person.

It makes me want to help people carry their groceries. It makes me want to hold the door open for someone an extra few seconds away from the "normal door holding range." It makes me want to show people how kind Muslims truly are.

It's not just for show, of course, but an added benefit that keeps me excited every day when I wrap myself up like a burrito.  

I can't believe it's been 5 years since I've been "hair-less" to most of society.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: 

"I don't think I'm a better Muslim for wearing hijab, no, but I am more of a representation. I can't go wherever I please without representing the second largest religion in the world, and when people have this preconceived notion that I am oppressed, it's a lot of pressure to surpass their expectations of me within a few moments of interaction.

It is quite possibly the only piece of fabric in the world that can make me a spokesmodel just by putting it on my head. But at the same time that it is pressure, it is also a gift- one that stems from the greatest gift of all, one Allah Himself bestowed upon me- being Muslim.

May Allah (swt) make all of us the best representations of Him that we can possibly be - no matter what we wear." <3

May God put modesty, one of the qualities that He loves, in the hearts of all women AND MEN around the world.

Dear Mr. Trump, Muslim Women CAN Talk.... and... frankly, EFF YOU.

So I could write a book about how much Donald Trump pisses me off... from calling women derogatory names, to imitating disabled people in jest, to tip toeing around a question about the KKK.  And that doesn't even include the crazy, radicalized (yes, he's RADICALIZED, I'm not...), and disgusting statements he's made about Muslims. I try not to get political, because I'm far from knowledgable about American politics, but I am well versed in humanity, Alhamdulilah (thank God). But after the eloquent, passionate, and tearful speech made by Khizr Khan, the father of Captain Humayun Khan, Trump focused only on the fact that his wife didn't happen to speak at that moment in time.  

Trump said: "If you look at his wife, she was standing there ... She had nothing to say. She probably, maybe she wasn't allowed to have anything to say. You tell me."

Hey Trump: EFF YOU. 

I'm a Muslim woman.  I'm allowed to say whatever I want to.  I'd love to have a conversation with you about how I, an American born Caucasian woman whose family has been here in America for generations after migrating from Europe, don't belong here.  That I don't deserve to be free and safe in my own country because you are more interested in boosting your ego... and why? Oh, because I believe in God in a different way than you.

Here's my question and we're going to have to be looking at this... Should Captain Khan's mother have just read off of a teleprompter another person's speech? Or, alternatively, is that reserved for YOUR immigrant wife? I would also love to hear Melania speak... her own words, that is...

Thank you for citing in your interview all of the attacks that Muslims have carried out in recent months.  I'd like you to consider all of those that Christians have done in the same time period.  For example, a gentleman living in the town where I was living when I decided to convert to Islam decided to randomly murder a sweet 20-year-old girl that was one of my peers at the university I attended.  Should all of the people who associate with his religion be kicked out ass well? YOU TELL ME (to quote you... SO eloquently).

And to Captain Khan's father, mother, him and his entire family, thank you. As a convert who constantly struggles to defend my rights, I'm honored to be able to have your service and patriotism as an example for me.  May God grant Captain Khan the highest level in Heaven along with all of those who have died serving our freedoms.

May God bless America and may He protect it through souls like yours... and not evil souls like the ones who claim to be able to make judgments about our beautiful religion based on a couple of whack jobs.

Please, if you have not listened to Captain Khan's speech, you must.  Check the link.

And, more information on Trump's ugly, disgusting response, here only for reference.

Best Places for Saudis and Khaleejis to Visit in Los Angeles

LA has always been one of my favorite places on earth and it was my home for three years <3 I'm currently here visiting my friends and I had a request to make a list of my favorite Los Angeles spots to visit. These places appeal to me and many of my friends as well.  But, I gotta be honest: they're pretty Khaleeji.  

Still, I think everyone can appreciate them one way or another!! Please feel free to check them out and let them know I sent you :)

I broke them down into some categories for easier organization. Or, you can check out my Yelp List here: Los Angeles by Hannooni

Halal Food:

1. Cafe Istanbul - Beverly Hills, CA Yummy Turkish food! Try the bayti or chicken bowl!
2. Xai Lounge - West Hollywood, CA Everything is yummy! Amazing owner! I die for the shawarma wrap with fries and the chicken kabob with couscous.  Also amazing teas and hot chocolate.
3. Urban Skillet- North Hollywood, CA Can't believe this place exists. Amazing halal chicken sandwich and bulgogi cheesesteak.
4. Open Sesame - Los Angeles, CA Everything is out of this world.  Try the Sultan platter!
5. iKabsa- West Hollywood, CA Just was here in Ramadan but the food was great! I would definitely visit! All Saudi food.
6. Mama’s Secret Cafe - Beverly Hills, CA Turkish breakfast <3
7. Ali Baba Persian - Granada Hills, CA Everything I've ever tried is great!
8. Pi On Sunset- West Hollywood, CA - For younger males Chicken shawarma - just a warning: it's pretty much for shabab.

Other Food:

1. Fig & Olive - West Hollywood, CA Salmon out of this world. Also, pot de creme is a MUST for dessert.
2. Toast- Los Angeles, CA Amazing bread.
3. Lucques- West Hollywood, CA I had some sort of vegetable bake that was great as was the dessert.
4. Leon Cafe & Lounge - Glendale, CA Salmon salmon salmon. Also, great fries!
5. Granville- Glendale, CA New American cuisine.  Worth a visit if you stop by the Americana at Brand.
6. Tickle Tree Cafe- La Crescenta, CA I get the artichoke sandwich without chicken.  Also, the garlic fries and mint lemonade are amazing.
7. Humble Bee - Northridge, CA They made me sausage-less biscuits and gravy.  So white-girl ish but all of my friends loved it.
8. Kristy’s - Malibu, CA Unbelievable view and yummy pizza and croquettes.
9. Daisy Mint - Pasadena, CA Yellow curry. Best Thai I've had in LA.
10. New Moon - Montrose, CA Shrimp fried rice. Best Chinese I've had in LA.
11. Stinking Rose Cafe - Beverly Hills, CA Everything garlic! THOOM THOOM THOOM, baby! :) Try the garlic ice cream. It's shockingly yummy.
12. Fritto Misto - Santa Monica, CA The spinach artichoke gnocchi! Wow.
13. Liwan Lounge - Los Angeles, CA Shabab hangout for younger males... just a warning. I've never been, but I hear it has a nice upscale environment.

Dessert Places:

1. Salt & Straw (Ice Cream) - Multiple Locations I want to cry I love this place so much. Honey Lavender ice cream.  TRUST me.
2. LAMill Coffee- Silver Lake, CA Great brownies and coffee.  They used to have a dessert and tea pairing that was delish.
3. Paradis (Ice Cream) - Montrose, CA The strawberry, nutella swirl and chocolate are amazing.
4. Creme de la Crepe - Beverly Hills, CA My friend and I stopped in here late night.  Gorgeous atmosphere.
5. Urth Cafe - Beverly Hills, CA Such a Saudi hangout... amazing dessert if you're in Beverly Hills.
6. Magnolia Bakery - Beverly Hills, CA Chocolate banana pudding <3

Best Grocery:

1. Asian Spot- Northridge, CA (Halal) Such sweet owners, and pretty great selection of halal meat.
2. Super King - Multiple Locations (Imported Foods) All sorts of imported foods, including Arabic foods.

Sight Seeing:

• Mulholland Drive- Los Angeles, CA Scenic drive to see the whole city of Los Angeles. Photo below.

Shopping:

1. The Grove - Beverly Hills, CA Super Khaleeji all night every night, but really beautiful atmosphere.
2. Beverly Center - Beverly Hills, CA The nicest woman ever works at the sunglass store there <3 All the brands we love.
3. Third Street Promenade - Santa Monica, CA Same owners as The Grove.  Also there are interesting performers and the dawah group I used to work with is there!  Please support them :) MercyforMankind.
4. The Americana at Brand- Glendale, CA Also same owners as The Grove.  Equally beautiful!

Best Movie Theatre:

1. iPic Theatres- Pasadena, CA Fancy reclining chairs.  Waiters and waitresses.  Yummy food.

Best Masjids:

1. King Fahad Masjid- Santa Monica, CA This masjid has my heart <3 It's my favorite in all of Los Angeles. Gorgeous decoration, kind and patient leaders.  They let me shoot my television show here and I'm forever grateful.
2. Masjid Reseda - Northridge, CA Nice, smaller-sized masjid in the suburb I used to reside in.  Also very sweet leadership.

Hotels:

1. SLS Hotel- Beverly Hills, CA Gorgeous hotel room interior.
2. The Westin Pasadena - Pasadena, CA Love the location - such a quaint, sweet little neighborhood.

Best Beaches:

1. Santa Monica Beach - Santa Monica, CA C'mon who doesn't love the Santa Monica pier.  It's a little slice of America.
2. Zuma Beach - Malibu, CA Gorgeous, incredible views. Literally breathtaking. SubhanAllah.

Best Facial:

1. Beauty Factory Beverly Hills- Beverly Hills, CA Of all things in this world, I love this place for facials.  The esthetician (facial lady) Naomi is incredible, life changing, and such a beautiful soul <3
2. Silky Skin - Montrose CA Also very nice treatments and a quaint little spot near my old workplace.

Best Makeup Artist:

1. Outlaw Cosmetics - West Hollywood, CA Sara is AMAZING if you need a makeup artist or lashes.

Best Mani/Pedi:

1. Color Me Green - La Canada Flintridge, CA All organic and they do a great job!
2. Painted Woman- Beverly Hills, CA Amazing chairs and decoration.  You have to check it out if you're here and looking for a manicure!

Best Chiropractor:

1. Bobbi Jones - Zen Wellness Chiropractic - Los Angeles, CA Was really happy with my treatments here! If where you live doesn't have chiropractic, you need to try it out. It will change your life!

Best Massage:

1. Blossom Spa - Hollywood, CA Haven't been but heard it's great!
2. Sunflower Massage (Foot Massage) - Sunland, CA I go here for a quick clothes-on massage. They do a great job! Just make sure to ask for the same gender when you call ahead.

Best Dentist:

1. Dani Benyaminy - Los Angeles, CA He's super personable and very kind! If you need anything, check out this dentist.

Day Trip Locations:

1. Santa Barbara,CA - 2 hours Gorgeous cafe called Zaytoon! Also, really beautiful places to see like the beach and courthouse for a view of the entire city.  Worth the 2 hour drive.
2. San Diego, CA - 2 hours Also a must if you're visiting! Check out the beaches, The San Diego Zoo, Pasha Lounge (for a chai tea!), and other well known dining hotspots!
3. Las Vegas, NV - 4 hours Vegas doesn't have to be the city of sin! There's amazing food at Secret Pizza (a hidden pizza shop without any marketing or signs!), Serendipity 3's Frozen Hot Chocolate is WOW, also Sushi at I <3 Sushi!

Hope this helped some future Los Angeles visitors.  I love this city beyond imagination.  If you need anything during your travels, please don't hesitate to reach out inshaAllah.

Bil salaama <3

Powerful Quote of the Day

Assalamu alaykum all! I just read this quote today from Nouman Ali Khan and had to share it with all of you:

"You and I are not Muslim, because we are born in a Muslim family. You and I are not Muslim, because you read a book about Islam, or saw a Youtube video and decided to become Muslim. We are Muslim, because Allah chose us."

It's so unbelievably accurate. As Muslims, we should remember that it is through Allah's will that we are Muslim. Simply, it's not our own decision but His instead. SubhanAllah, we're so blessed. 

Forreal forreal.

Sometimes it does not feel like such a blessing when my alarm clock goes off at 4:00 in the morning to pray fajr, AstaghfirAllah, but in reality, this is the blessing : standing in front of Allah while others are sleeping.

Also, it is so incredibly humbling to realize that nothing I did or didn't do made me Muslim.  It was not in my hands whatsoever.  It's only through His will that Islam entered my life.  Alhamdulilah a billion times.

I hope we can all take a moment to reflect on this quote.  It's a little reminder for myself, but one that I hope you will take to heart as well <3

My "Back Story" : Who I Am and How I Got Here

My "Back Story" - as per request.

I was born to the most beautiful soul of a woman that has ever graced this planet: my momma.  She was a single mother and worked incredibly hard to be my mother and my father at the same time.  We lived in a suburb of Cleveland/Akron, Ohio.  When I was thirteen, my mom passed away.  I was heartbroken and numb and could not understand how any higher power could “do this to me.”  I lived more or less on my own from that age. I learned to grow up REAL quick.  Because of that, I never had time to think about religion because I was too busy worrying about how I was going to make it through another day of high school life.

I learned about Christianity growing up and I wanted to love it, but it just didn't make sense to me personally.  I couldn’t understand how God could be three in one.  I LOVED the big guy, but had some questions about the other two.  I always felt like there was some power greater than me that helped me get through the loss of my mother and the struggles that then ensued.  When I asked questions about the trinity, no one could ever answer them for me to give me the “warm fuzzies” I was looking for.  So, in college, I started searching.  I learned about all the isms: Buddhism. Hinduism. Judaism. Taoism.  I wanted to love one of them, but I just didn’t.

I never thought about Islam, because, well, I watched CNN and I knew I was not down with violence or hurting people and that’s all Muslims ever seem to do!  I made a Muslim friend through mutual friends, and after a long friendship, this friend shared with me a small chapter of Quran.  It’s called Surah Ad Duha.  I’ll wait here while you Google it.

I’ll paraphrase, but it says that Your Lord has never left you and never hated you. The next life is going to be better than this one. God will satisfy you. Then, it goes on to say the words that hit home to me, “Did He not find you an orphan and give you refuge? And He found you lost and guided you. And He found you poor and made you self-sufficient. (Quran 93:6-8).  The biggest mistake of my life was opening this email that I received with these words in the middle of my college library. I cried an UGLY cry.  None of that cutesy solitary tear bologna.  Mascara running, throat closing cry.  Warm fuzzies is the understatement of the century.

But, my CNN brain knew that the Quran had crazy stuff inside it! I saw the verses they flashed.  I saw the crazy killers.  I knew they took their “inspiration” from somewhere (spoiler alert: it’s their own crazy “interpretations," not our religion).  So, I bought my own Quran and started reading to find the crazy parts to argue to my friend.  I found no crazy.  I found what I had always been looking for.  I read this book cover to cover within a month.  I would read it till 3 in the morning.  I would cry constantly. My Google search history probably put me on a permanent watch list.

Yep, I found those CNN phrases, but when I read them in context, they were not crazy at all.  And, they make up maybe .05% of the entire book. Also, I found those same things when I revisited the Bible and Torah as well.

So, after learning how to pray correctly and making sure I was really ready for this new life (side note: my "past life" was not nearly as wild or exciting as most people think - there were no body shots, no hard drugs, no nude photos), I took my shahada, or declaration of faith, on May 27, 2011.  I wore hijab full-time a few months later.  I started learning Arabic - I’m not fluent, but I’m pretty good for a white chick.  I learned about all the different cultures that embrace Islam, including Malaysia, Indonesia, Pakistan, Egypt, Syria, Palestine, Morocco, Turkey, United Arab Emirates, Oman, Yemen, and, my home of Saudi Arabia.  I conditioned myself to say “Allah” instead of “God,” which is just the Arabic word for THE God, as in the One and Only.  I learned to love Jesus for all of the blessings and knowledge that were bestowed upon him from God (OH EM GEE - We believe in Jesus!) And, to date, not a day has gone by that I didn’t learn something new about religion.

I moved to Los Angeles after I graduated to pursue my real estate career and get out of small-town Ohio where people were not down with the Muslim folk, or the black folk, or any folk that was different than their own folk. Los Angeles was so captivating and such a diverse and beautiful city. I was successful and happy for the most part, but hearing negative comments one too many times made me feel the need to get out of the States.  After searching long and hard, I found a position in Saudi Arabia that could hire me as a single American 24-year-old, and I came.  I’ve been here a little over a year now and I’m enjoying my time. God made such a beautiful world and I want to explore it in the time He gives me - but I have every intention to raise my family in Saudi.  I would say that I have been embraced here by natives.  Many of my friends were from here before I moved here and they prepared me for the “culture shock.”

In every part of the world there is good and bad.  In my opinion, God made the world that way so that we would know that perfection is with Him in Heaven and so we would treat this as our temporary home. Imagine! Carrie Underwood was right after all!

In my twenty-five years of life, I have learned many beautiful lessons. My public service announcement to the world would be this: we are all brothers and sisters under the same God.  Or, brothers and sisters in this world, if you prefer.  I wish that we all learned to treat each other this way - as a family.  Prophet Muhammad taught us to love for our brothers what we love for ourselves.  And, I won’t shut up until I see just that - in all cultures, religions, races.  Until then, I’ll just be here milking some camels.

My Daily Life as an American Expat in Saudi Arabia

My Daily Life in Saudi Arabia This was requested by an American magazine, but as it was not utilized, I thought I would share it here:

First, I wake up to my “ALLAHU AKBAR” alarm clock. Then, I check out my jihadi Twitter feed. Next, I milk a camel…

Just kidding.

My daily life is very similar to that of any other twenty-five year old girl, with the exception of praying five times per day and fasting a month out of the year.  I wake up at dawn, pray, get ready for work, take a shuttle to the hospital that I work at, pray a few more times, pretend to be busy while I Pinterest at my desk, go home, pray two more times, chill with my cats (yes - I’m a cat lady), watch old reruns of Whose Line Is It Anyway, and I go to bed.  Sometimes I go to the mall.  Sometimes I have dinner with friends.  Sometimes I take a walk.

I wish it was more exciting than that, but being a Muslim girl is not the Repunzelesque Telemundo soap opera it’s portrayed as. I’m not oppressed. I’m not beaten.  I don’t need to be “freed” or “saved.”

I have the same worries that any girl my age does: Oh snap, I’m still single and 25! How do I get my contour to look like that chick on YouTube?! Why do I snore like a hibernating bear? How many squats do I have to do to eat this sleeve Samoas? HOW DID THE KEY GET IN THE BEDROOM ON THE 7TH SEARCH AND NOT HAVE TERESA HALBACH’S DNA ON IT?!

Additionally, I have a bad case of chronic wanderlust. I know every lyric to Adele’s new album. And, my grandma thinks that the Kardashians are captivatingly interesting and that Dave Chapelle is the funniest man alive.

Perhaps I’m simplifying it, because Islam is a HUGE part of my life, but it relates more to my perspective on the world and this life, and it’s found in the little things I do, but not necessarily 

everything tiny thing I do, probably pretty similar to you and whatever religion you’ve chosen.

I will admit that I don't think my non-Muslim counterparts take a knee as soon as they hear about any sort of violence in the world and say, “PLEASE GOD DON’T LET IT BE A [BUDDHIST/JEW/ATHEIST….]!” I’m also sure that not too many of my friends’ families have a legitimate concern about them not being able to live in America should a certain presidential candidate be elected. I also know about, and sincerely care about, the people in Syria, Palestine, and any other crack or corner of the earth that is in pain, which I can’t say I did before I converted.

There’s things I do because of my religion in my daily life that other people might find strange.  I eat and drink with my right hand because it was the habit of the Prophet Muhammad (may peace be upon him).  I pray at the crack of dawn as I mentioned. I have a Tempurpedic prayer rug. I wear hijab, or the headscarf you likely have seen many Muslim women wear.  I read Quran, often. I constantly have to defend my religion and my beliefs.  These things all fit in the “religion” category.

While I have fallen absolutely in love with the religion of Islam, I also appreciate and accept the culture of the Middle East, specifically the Gulf region and Saudi Arabia.  Many of the “things I do” are cultural to this region and are not mandated in our religion - just things I like.  These are usually the activities shown on television that depict oppression.   For example, I wear abaya, or the long black “dress” and also niqqab, the face covering - again, not mandatory in Islam, but something that I feel more comfortable with. I wear it because to me, I feel liberated to know that I am not judged by how I look (but I’m a total babe in case any tall, religious, single Muslim doctors are reading this).  I can go into more detail on this specific popular subject if desired.

Also, because I live in Saudi Arabia, I cannot drive as a woman.  This is again NOT AT ALL RELATED to Islam.  Women rode camels during the time of Islam’s inception, thus the modern day camel, the car, should be perfectly acceptable for women to drive.  In all other Muslim countries, women drive.  Here in Saudi, the culture is that men drive.  From the bottom of my heart, I thank God every day that I do not drive here.  Driving is INCREDIBLY dangerous. I fear my imminent death every time I’m in a vehicle of any sort. Accidents are the number one cause of death - I’m okay in the backseat, thanks.  Still, I hope that if and when there is a more organized driving system that women are able to drive.  There’s simply no reason religiously that they should not be able to.  It’s more of a “men protecting women” thing that is just Arabic culture.  I dig it, but I’m also not so unaware as to believe it’s everyone’s cup of tea. I take drivers when I need to go somewhere. That’s the cultural aspect that gets some haters.

Don’t get me wrong - there are women who are oppressed here.  There are women who are beaten here.  May God protect them and give their oppressors the punishment that they deserve.  Unfortunately, those women also exist in every other nook and crevice of the world.  They’re in Costa Rica. They’re in Canada (yes, Canada!).  They’re in Russia.  They’re in Timbuktu. They’re definitely in America.  It breaks my heart, but I can assure you, I’m not in this category, thank God.

I often get asked what I miss most about the States.  The answer is not driving (but I miss my cute little convertible - there’s a visual I hope you can appreciate: me, niqqab, a little Tupac, cruising the California coast). What I really miss is the organization of it all.  There’s no such thing as addresses here.  Online shopping is a pain.  Google Maps is spotty at best. I’m sure that non-Muslim Americans living here would have other annoyances like the fact that stores close during prayer time so Muslim workers can pray.  Also, the athan, or the call to prayer, can be heard almost anywhere throughout the city.  As a Muslim, the addresses are the worst part.  Also, I get nauseous in the backseat so that’s not always fun, but pretty sure that’s a personal problem.

So, here’s what I don’t miss about the States.  Mind you, I lived my entire life there. I love being American. I respect what it means to be an American and how privileged we are to have had the opportunities and experiences that we do. Let’s be real, though, it’s no utopia:

• On a daily basis someone told me to “go back where you come from.” I would always lovingly respond, “I’m from CLEVELAND!”  In case it’s not evident: it hurts to hear that in your own country.  Even if it wasn’t my country, that’s hurtful.

• People would also tell me I speak broken English and I’m hard to understand.  Excuse me? I was in the top percentile in English according to my ACT AND I won the award in our high school for English every. single. year.  I have no accent. P.S., when I ask you how you are, you’re not “good,” you’re “well."

• Everyone would comment on the way I dress.  I get it, it’s different.  Still, not appropriate to tell your kid that I dress this way because I have cancer so I need to cover my head - within an earshot.  Yes, I still speak English! Also, not appropriate to comment on how I am dressed while in line at Zara as a 95 year old woman showing cleavage. I have been teased by strangers, by family members, and by everyone in between.  If you think pasties are liberating, do you, boo.  But, in the meantime, let’s keep the commentary to ourselves.

• People actually support a candidate that wants to deport an entire religion of people.  I’m curious if these Muslim camps we’re going to be moved to will have wifi? Also, the identification patches - one color option or can I get a green one to match my eyes? HELLO, PEOPLE!  WAKE UP.

• The fact that if I read the comments section on anything remotely related to Islam, I want to gauge my eyes out, eat a GALLON of Ben & Jerry’s, cry, and never leave my bedroom - all simultaneously.

• Ever notice that every time a “white guy” commits a violent TERROR attack, it’s just a “lone wolf” or a “mentally unstable” individual.  When the person has ANY connection to Islam, they get the big “T” label.

These things hurt.  I’ve shed tears about all of them - and many other daily experiences that I had as a Muslim American in the United States.  I was tired of getting spit on (literally) and tired of people holding their kids extra tight when I walked by.  Because of that, I chose to move to Saudi Arabia.  I wish I could feel at home while at home, but I don’t.

#BLACKLIVESMATTER

I'll say it now and continue to say it until there is justice in America and all over the world: #BLACKLIVESMATTER. It actually breaks my heart that we have to say it as a society in 2016.  We love to run from this fact.  We love to hide from the hurt that America has caused black families and black people.  But, guess what, they're lives matter to me and they should matter to you, too.

I can't lie, I grew up in a pretty white washed place.  There were maybe 4 black kids at my high school and one of them was a Cavs player's daughter.  My interaction with black people was as limited as you could imagine.  Still, I have a passion for justice and equality - both "de jure" and "de facto" (Google it.... I'll wait....).

Because this is a "story telling" kind of blog, I'll give you my personal experiences with African American people as a young adult.  It is my hope that you will giggle at my sheer ignorance and realize how human we all are - independent of color or race.

I used to work at a salon as a sixteen year old as a receptionist.  The esthetician (fancy word for lady who is a skin care expert) was half black.  She was such a powerful, strong role model and at the time I looked at her much like another mother. I have several figures like this within my life, but I remember her strength in particular.  She was crazy as you could imagine.  She would tell me things that would shock me as a sixteen year old on a daily basis, but I never thought to myself "gosh, we're so different!" She had unique life experiences, a beautiful daughter (who, I have read recently was called the n-word and it nearly sent me into cardiac arrest), and was (and still is) one of the most genuine people I know  (And her shoes though, don't even get me started).  She is fighting hard for people to see how much black lives really matter.  She matters.  She matters to me so much. And I'll be darned if anyone told me different.

Then, I went off to college.  The first semester of freshman year I lived with a Jewish white girl and a "country" white girl. There was plenty of drama, but I never got close to them.

The second semester I moved to another dorm and it was me, a tiny Puerto Rican girl, and four black (or some portion of black) girls: Ashleigh, Dominique, Marshae (the troll that lived on our couch LOL) and Aisha. YOU CANNOT IMAGINE THE FUN THAT WE HAD. We literally could not be any more different in so many ways, but we all got along very well.  There was drama, no doubt, but it was fun drama.  I remember them sticking up for me when there would be dining hall drama with other girls.  I remember us laughing until we would cry.  I remember their huge 6'9'' basketball playing boyfriends who would come hang out in our living room and we would all laugh about how white and sheltered I was.

They introduced me to a new way of looking at hair.  I taught them how funny Jim Gaffigan is.  We had so much fun. I wish I could add photos from back then to show you just how much fun we had, but... yah, I can't.

Once I made a sign for a particular basketball player, who happens to be Muslim, and it said "MARRY ME MO" as a joke to make fun of how other girls were so in love with him.  He made it his profile picture on Facebook and I had the dirtiest looks on campus for three weeks.

I love these weirdos. I love how they took me in as one of their own and while we could laugh about the differences (which were clear), we did not think differently of one another.  Each of them individually has such a special place in my heart.

Now, I know this is probably meaningless to all of you because you don't know these influential black people in my life.  But, the point is, when you get to know people from the "other," you will easily see how we are all the same.  We bleed the same. We love the same.

I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't see color.  I see it.  But, it does not MATTER. Their lives, BLACK lives, matter.  Surely, all lives matter, but right now the black ones are the ones that matter and deserve some more focus.

How are you going to let a 3 year old girl watch her father be murdered? I was thirteen when my mom died of a disease and I am permanently scarred.

How are you going to let a jerk kill a black kid and then flaunt it? I watched a bunny get killed on a road accidentally once and I still remember every little bit of horror I felt knowing there was nothing I could do about it.

How are you going to let this keep happening to innocent people? They're not burglars.  They're not murderers.  They're people.

Of all the communities I would like to speak to, it is the Muslim community that better hear me more than ever.  We are constantly being grouped and labelled.  We better speak out for our black brothers and sisters (independent of their religion) as we would expect the same level of respect and fellowship from them.

To my black friends, readers, people who don't care about me but are reading anyways, etc...: I love you. I promise to do all that I can or that is in my power to stand up for you and for injustices I see.  I'm sorry that you live in fear. I'm sorry we are not enlightened. I'm sorry for the losses in your community: those we see and those we do not. I wish that all of the white supremacists had to do a DNA test to see how much "other" blood they had in them and I wish that it would change their opinion of how they see you.

Prophet Muhammad said the most beautiful words: "A white man has no superiority over a black man, nor a black man over a white man except by righteousness and good actions." He, the most noble leader in his time, had a best friend who happened to be a black slave.  He loved him and portrayed his love for him as much as he could.  I wish I could show you how much I love you, too <3

May God unite us all as ONE community - His community. May love always conquer hate.  And, may God allow the truth that BLACK LIVES MATTER to radiate through every facet of our society as soon as possible. <3