What Would I Tell Myself Before I Converted?

Here are my full thoughts that I sent to the writer of the Today Show article I contributed to.

1. EVERYONE is going to talk to you.  You’re about the become the token Muslim girl to Americans and the token convert to your Muslim friends.  I know that now the only time people talk to you randomly is when some guy that sits behind you in Political Science has a question about the War of 1812, but times are a'changin'.  People are going to start talking to you about religion EVERYWHERE you are.  You cover your hair, like I said, and you even wear abaya, the long black dress.  You might want to sit down for this next part - you even sometimes - depending on the location and your safety - cover your face (not a religious requirement - just something that makes you feel safe and good).  WOAH.  Bare with me.  What’s important is that this leads people to say sometimes amazing and inspirational things and sometimes less than inspirational things.  It happens DAILY. From the lady buying grapefruit next to you in Kroger to the cute little couple trying to say hello to you in Arabic, to the little girl who will make your day by asking if you’re a princess… you’re going to have a LOT of conversations.  Better get over it now, because it's your new favorite topic.

2. You’re going to be faced with a BUNCH of crazy stereotypes.  On both sides.  You're going to learn to laugh a lot and be REALLY quick on your feet.  You’ll be called a terrorist, you’ll be told to go back where you came from, and people will talk to you as if you don’t speak a word of English.  Guess what? You’re not a terrorist, nor will you ever be, you’re FROM Cleveland, and your English is superior to a vast majority of Americans (How am I? I'm WELL. I'm not GOOD).  And, on the Muslim side, some people will think you’re  a spy for America, they will think you’re an avid picnicker and that you know every lyric to Yankee Doodle.  You’re not any of those things either.

3. You’re about to realize that we’re all the same.  Truly, we are all brothers living under the same God.  In addition to this, there are universals. Grandpas are always wise, kids love to break rules, and  ALL mothers love to feed you. Don’t tell a Jewish mother, a Puerto Rican mother, or an Indian mother that you’re full - you’ll get yelled at.  The only difference will be if it’s in Yiddish, Spanish or Urdu.

4. You REALLY love Islam. I know that you didn’t ever consider yourself religious before reading Quran and learning about religion, but you get pretty darn religious.  It’s a good thing.  It brings you peace, it makes you complete, and it inspires you to be a better person every single day.  You will find happiness beyond that which you have ever imagined, sweetheart.  I’m proud of you.

5. You got this.  Hannah, my dear, you  think that you will NEVER be able to learn the first prayer.  You will.  Within three days, you will.  You will go on to learn dozens more prayers, thousands of words in Arabic, and you will be better than you could ever imagine.  You will gain a knowledge that some envy - and, most importantly, you will continue your thirst for knowledge for many years.  Fast forward five years and you love it a hundred times more than you do right now.

6. You're still single.  I know, I know. It's not what you thought. The truth is that religion is not the magic cure to finding a spouse or to making a guy like you.  It's a lifelong commitment to God, not to a man.  And no one can change your relationship with God, not even a tall, dark, handsome Muslim hottie.  A man can bring religion into your life, but only God can bring you faith.

7. You’re still you.  Yes, you look a little different.  You wake up at the crack of dawn to pray.  The sick part? You love it. You look at the world - and the news - in SUCH a different perspective.  You’re a way better version of yourself, you’re a billion times happier, you’re smarter, you’re more compassionate, and you’re more appreciative.  But, you’re still you.  You still are a terrible driver.  You still don’t like Greek yogurt.  In fact, you HATE it.  You’re still passionate about helping people. You still giggle obnoxiously and you still dance around your house in your underwear, just you spend extra time making sure ALL of your blinds are closed so your neighbors don't see.  You’re amazing, a rare gift from God to the world, just like everyone else, just like you are today.

Very Honored: My Contribution to The Today Show Article

This is pretty old but I wanted to save this post for a special day. It's Friday - that's special :)

Please check out the link to read my contribution to a multi-faith article about converting.  Alhamdulilah my sense of humor meshes with the author :)

Enjoy!

A more extensive post with my entirety of my contribution is to come! :)

Losing My Religion: 6 Things I Wish I'd Known

Happy Shahada Anniversary To Me <3

Alhamdulilah, so happy that today is the anniversary of the best day of my entire life: the day I took my shahada. Every year, I can't help but reflect on the conversation I accidentally overheard the day I took my shahada in which two individuals at the masjid had bets on how long I would be Muslim for.

To them, I was just another girl going through a "Muslim phase" as they had seen in others before.

I was OBVIOUSLY just converting for a guy.  Or because I was bored.

So proud every year that I have only fallen more in love with Islam.

The biggest Mercy in my entire life was that Allah (swt) chose me to be Muslim, and there was no greater blessing I have ever experienced.

The journey has not been easy - and still I am challenged every day.  But, I am proud to say that I am growing and evolving with the changes in my life, and I am so blessed to have the guidance and support of Islam in order to do so.

Happy Shahada Anniversary to me! <3

Please keep me in your du'aa.

Love all of you

If I Could Change One Thing About Muslims...

Someone asked me this week if I could change anything about Muslims, what would it be.  

Here's what: Making the haram halal and making the halal haram.  

Two quick examples:

1) It's not haram to marry someone you love, it's haram to force your child to marry someone just because he/she is in the same tribe.

2) It's not halal to judge someone regarding how religious they are as a convert, it's halal to know that they have less sins than you.

I could write about this one for days, but just wanted to give some perspective to one thing I wish could be changed.

<3

Ten Things I Love & Ten Things I Hate About Saudia

I'll go back and forth so as to not provide uppers or downers :) LOVE: 1. I can cover my face and NO ONE cares.

I can cover it at work.  At the mall.  In public.  And never once has anyone said "go back where you came from!"  Ironically, this is not where I came from and America is :)

HATE: 1. People think I'm Saudi.

I can get along in Arabic pretty well.  Full conversations, even.  But when someone asks me something really specific, I can't get it.  I've also been yelled at no less than ten times for going with the international workers instead of the Saudis.  I constantly have to yell "HEY! I'm WHITE!"

LOVE: 2. The FOOD!

OMG it's so gooooooood! Everything is halal!! And yet still, MIRACULOUSLY, I lost 10 more pounds.

HATE: 2. The drama of getting food

Call a driver, take the driver to a restaurant, get the food, come home with the food, eat the food.  No thank you.

LOVE: 3. A majority of the people

Never met nicer people in my entire life.  Everyone is happy to help me.

HATE: 3. A minority of the people

They make the *tsk tsk* noise at me sometimes.  Maybe too much of my eyes show? Maybe the top of my foot peeked out? Sorry people, but I'm doing my best.  And some of you *tsk tsk*ers aren't as holy as you think. Also, in one meeting a man absolutely REFUSED to look at me the entire time or speak to me EVENTHOUGH I was the person he should have been speaking to.  I hated him.  He had an evil twinkle.  The boys at work defended me.

LOVE: 4. Not driving

Woah, it's really nice to not have to drive in this city where the driving is PSYCHOTIC.

HATE: 4. Getting nauseous in the backseat

If I don't take an SUV, there is no doubt I will puke within 3 minutes.

LOVE: 5. The houses

I've only visited a few of my friends at their particular houses, but woah! They were gorgeous mashaAllah!

HATE: 5. Having outfits with no where to go

The social scene here for me is still very slowly improving - I wish I had tons of friends here that we have stuff to do all day, but I just don't.

LOVE: 6. Work

The people I work with are HILARIOUS and we're all a gang like we knew each other for years. (Inside jokes GALORE! To the point we bust out laughing during the meetings).  They literally keep me sane when Hate #6 happens.

HATE: 6. THE FREAKING SYSTEMS

So, I guess we can say I did this to myself by accepting a government job, but OMG it's like pulling teeth to do ANYTHING.  I just now got a bank account today.  It took a whole month.  I lived on $700.  I've never lived on $700 in my entire life for a whole month.  Alhamdulilah I made it through, but I couldn't transfer money! It was tragic.  My iqama took forever to come.  My housing is still a messed up situation. UGH! Thank God for Love #6.

LOVE: 7. Improving my Arabic

It's gotten a legit 10% better since I've been here - and it's been just one month.  Imagine after a year, inshaAllah!

HATE: 7. I kinda miss English

Today I spoke Arabic for 82% of my day.  Just spoke English to the Subway guy.  I want to speak English people.  I miss my language :(

LOVE: 8. The humor

I get it soooooo much better than I get white people jokes.  Hate to say it.

HATE: 8. How rude workers are

For example, at the bank, they needed to see my iqama.  Instead of doing the American style, "How may I help you? May I please see your iqama?" the guy just said "Gimme that"  I wanted to cry.  I miss the nice way.

LOVE: 9. Making new friends

HATE: 9. Gahwa Arabi

I realllllly am ashamed to tell you this, but I HATE Arabic coffee, astaghfirAllah.  It does not taste good AT ALL.  I don't know how you guys drink this stuff.  And, I am constantly being offered it as if it is the supply of life.  BLAH.  Turkish coffee, please! P.S. I miss Starbucks.

LOVE: 10. A new culture

I thought I knew Saudi culture before I came.  I was pretty well prepared for an American, but still the culture continues to surprise me every day.   It makes me laugh, it makes me cry.  Just like American culture.

HATE: 10. Other foreigners

I can't stand how they walk.  Please, if you're moving, keep moving.  If you're stopping, move to the side and stop.  Also, don't eat spaghetti at 7 am.  Also, good for you that you can do arts and crafts but if you can't make a graph, I will hit you.  Not trying to be racist, but they drive me a little nuts.

I once read a quote that said, "I often wondered why birds could go anywhere in the world and yet they stay close to home.  I asked myself the same thing."  Life is short and this world is huge.

A Guy Will Leave You, God Won't

I just wanted to mention to all the wonderful, intelligent, beautiful women I know this: God will never leave you. I have heard about several of my friends getting divorced or going through marital problems over the past few months, and I hope you are all so incredibly aware that no matter what happens with a guy - God is never forsaking you.

Sometimes people ask me how I'm still Muslim after four years.  It's a terribly offensive question, but once I get over the offense, I ask them what they mean.  They say its because after a few years every convert they know left Islam.

The one common thread I see is this: they believed Islam was the path to a particular man.  

Here's the secret: Islam is the path to Jannah.  

For me, I did not love Islam because of a guy. I loved Islam because of Allah.

This love is never wavering.  This love doesn't have parents that don't approve of you.  This love does not have conditions.  This love does not require you to move. This love is unconditional and eternal.  

So, my wonderful sisters, know Allah is here for you in all times.  As am I.  And if you need something, don't hesitate to ask, but make sure that you don't associate our perfect religion with an imperfect man or imperfect culture or imperfect family.  

He has better planned.  For you and me, inshaAllah.

Dreams Come True : Hala Wala, Riyadh <3

Just wanted to update everyone on why I haven't been posting.  I've been preparing for my humungous move to Saudi Arabia. Alhamdulilah, I have finally arrived here in Riyadh safe and sound.

Thanks everyone for your du'aa, support, and love <3

I am so thankful that I was able to achieve my huge - and seemingly impossible - goal of coming to Saudia.  SubhanAllah, I feel extremely blessed.

May Allah make my stay here a blessed one, and may I be able to visit Masjid Al Haram inshaAllah during my time.

Dreams come true!

May Allah Be Pleased With You, Deah, Yusor & Razan

I cannot even pretend to understand the horrific news story about three YOUNG Muslims that were gunned down in their own apartment over a "parking dispute." I don't understand why it wasn't on the television until a whole day later.

I can't stop myself from getting emotional thinking about the pain and suffering of the family.

But, I have to say these three young people make me so, so, so proud to be Muslim.  They were living out Islam in the best of ways - helping others, giving of themselves and of their time.  They were so normal.  They were so much like the people that I aspire to be like.

It could have been any one of us - any of our friends.  I know I myself have gotten into little spats in public about similar stupid things and I know the other people's reaction was 150% of what it needed to be because of Islam.  And I'm sure the same could be said of them.

Anyways, I can't talk about it much more than that in detail because I'm already dropping tears all over my keyboard.

What I do want to say, however, is that I cannot think of a better way to honor these three beautiful souls than to contribute to something that they were passionate about.

I suggest strongly that you donate to the cause Syrian Dental Relief and fulfill their mission.

May Allah grant them all the highest levels of Jannah and may I have the honor of meeting them all someday in the most beautiful of places.